Dear Kareem,
I’m a 36 yr old divorced, mother of 2. I’ve somehow gotten away from dating and just run behind my children playing sports. Within the next 6 yrs my children will be grown and out of the house and the life I’ve built around them will be over.
I want to start dating but I’m afraid. I’ve notice that I don’t feel comfortable around guys if we’re not talking about our children. When guys show interest I don’t naturally follow up? My closest girlfriends all live out of state so I don’t have anyone to help coach me through this process.
36 and starting over, but need help.
Kareem Says,
Starting over is always hard. Seeing that your children have been your whole life as of late, I think that you should take it slow. Your children are teens or pre-teens. They can look after themselves more at this age. This will allow you to have some “me” time. You should get a hobby. Find out what interests you or do something that you have always wanted too.
There are tons of activities that would allow you to meet new friends and or men. Try craiglist.org or meetup.com. You can find activities and people that are interested in the same things you are. You can also become more active in church (if you are not already) I know a ton of people that have met at church.
When you actually go out on a date remember this, no one likes one dimensional conversation. It’s especially bad when that conversation is all about kids. That’s lame and boring. If your date does not have kids, he is going to be instantly turned off. Talk about work, hobbies, or interests. Most people date as an escape from boredom – don’t contribute to it. The only way to be interesting is to do interesting things.
Got a question for Kareem? Hit him up at Kareem.JenkinsNYC@gmail.com
