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DEAR KAREEM: Why Won’t He Come Home?

By Kareem Jenkins June 4, 2009 3:47 pm

Hey Kareem,

I’m a 21-year-old woman. I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year, but he has been away in Alabama since September. However, he’s been done with school since February, and he’s still not home – he said he has responsibilities that he has to take care of before he leaves. I understand he has 5-year-old son there, and I understand that he won’t just leave him, but I’m ready for him to come home. I think there are other factors – like another female or possibly another child in his life – that are keeping him there. He first said he needed $40 to get home for gas, which I sent. A month later, he said he needed $50.00 to get home, and I sent that, too, but he’s still not home. What should I do? Should I end the relationship?

Kareem Says:

Sweetie, I’m sorry to tell you… this is not a relationship. You need to keep it moving. He has given you all the signs of having another life going on. I would say that he is out of town moving work, but clearly he’s broke if he asking you for $40 and $50 dollar loans. If you like getting played, at least find a man with some money. It sounds like he is balancing you, another woman, or a drug habit. If I were you, I’d cut my losses.

Got a question for Kareem? Email him at Kareem.JenkinsNYC@gmail.com

DEAR KAREEM: How do I tell my friend her boyfriend’s gay?

DEAR KAREEM: I’m in love with my best friend!


TAGS: advice, ask kareem, dear kareem, long distance relationship
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Comments 17

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  • MISUNDERSTOOD81
    MISUNDERSTOOD81
    6-10-2009 4:35 pm

    He has something else going on that does not include you. You are obviously not his priority. Other things are more important to him. Cut him loose now (like today) and start your healing process. Life is too short to be holding on to something that you know will never be.

  • ladylove115
    ladylove115
    6-9-2009 4:43 pm

    Stupid Stupid Stupid young luv honey..u better learn QUICKLY before u keep gettin your heart broke. and all ur doing is paying for the pampers or thoses Jordans on that kids body..Lets be REAL n look at the BIG PICTURE HONEY..

  • shericesmith
    shericesmith
    6-8-2009 10:12 pm

    Come home??? As far as he’s concerned, he IS at home. Don’t send him anymore money girl. Get on with your life.

  • BlackMiss62
    BlackMiss62
    6-5-2009 4:58 am

    CDFU@ NYC2LAX_WORLDWIDE
    “Why haven’t you when down there to see what was really going on? I am a guy so if it I was in your shoes I would hand deliver the money and see what was really going on…I don’t have time for the B.S.

    >>>So you wanna see my money you gonna see me…”

  • 1suaveguy
    1suaveguy
    6-5-2009 12:55 am

    he is a secret agent for a right wing shadow government agency. stop trying to be all up in his bidness!

  • klaulenaisback
    klaulenaisback
    6-5-2009 12:51 am

    you’re just naive, and that’s fine because you are learning. you deserve better, and once you accept that and move on you will be ok. chalk it up to another life lesson under your belt and take care of you.

  • sweetcheeks80
    sweetcheeks80
    6-5-2009 12:21 am

    GIRL HE IS PLAYING U DONT BE STUCK ON STUPID LET HIM GO TO THE LEFT TO THE LEFT

  • VA_PRETTY_GIRL
    VA_PRETTY_GIRL
    6-4-2009 10:10 pm

    girl i’m sorry but maybe he is already at home.it aint with you sweetie.a real man will leave his child physically but still stay involved with that chid in other ways and make time to visit that kid so tat aint the issue.let him keep his broke booty with his kid.

  • MikeGutter
    MikeGutter
    6-4-2009 8:58 pm

    I do chicks like this all the time…I call them slow…He’s not taking you serious at all…You’re just somebody on his play play list…He doesn’t care about you or what you think and laughing his a** off @ you.

  • NYC2LAX_WORLDWIDE
    NYC2LAX_WORLDWIDE
    6-4-2009 8:54 pm

    Why haven’t you when down there to see what was really going on?
    I am a guy so if it I was in your shoes I would hand deliver the money and see what was really going on… I don’t have time for the B.S. So you wanna see my money you gonna see me…

  • Cincinchick4
    Cincinchick4
    6-4-2009 8:44 pm

    WOW…Depending how far you guys are 40 and 50 for gas??? Come on gas is much more than that…He asking for damn diaper money!!! Touch her lawd !!~**

  • PEACHES861
    PEACHES861
    6-4-2009 6:55 pm

    Let’s just say him and the other chick can get a bullet in they ASS.

  • MsLaLady
    MsLaLady
    6-4-2009 5:55 pm

    Wow!

    These days no one can get any empathy or sympathy by others.

    Love to read others opinion such as the ones above me.

    I know am human,was young before, didn’t have the pleasure of learning about how to date, relationships or marriage.

    I’m appreicative that Kareem has advise this young lady to move on with her life.

    If I could give a suggestion to her, it would be start reading books about relationships by experts, ask people that are in real truly positive relatioships.

    So next time she can recognize a pimp player thats trying to play her or she will not make the same mistake again.

  • toofly9
    toofly9
    6-4-2009 5:38 pm

    dude aint trying to be with sweetie………..let go………

  • babytonnie
    babytonnie
    6-4-2009 5:03 pm

    what is this slowness? Why are people so afraid of being alone that they’re willing to put up with s**t like this…..sad just plain sad

  • 1superblackman
    1superblackman
    6-4-2009 4:49 pm

    lol u a stupid hoe dumb think think think think u just being a dumb ass

  • AngelHeart1703
    AngelHeart1703
    6-4-2009 4:09 pm

    All I can do is laugh!

    hahahahahahaha

    Wise up.. if it that so important to her.. then.. she needs to take a trip to Bama and see whats goin on.. plain and simple..

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