I will admit it; my reputation as a party girl precedes me. I am, well, let me rephrase that, I WAS a girl about town. If there was an industry event, I was front and center. New restaurant opening; I was one of the first people there. I even dabbled at promoting events and brunches for the professional, upwardly mobile black bourgeois and I loved every minute of it. I was known in these NYC streets as a very friendly, flirtatious, sociable, kick it girl…who never really settled down.
Don’t get me wrong, I had my fair share of relationships from 2003 until 2009. However, most of them were not serious and/or monogamous. It wasn’t until I started dating my fiancé in 2009 that I realized I previously had a thing for emotionally unavailable men. I mean, the men I dated were all around and present, until I started to inquire about relationship status. They would wine and dine, but had no interest in being in a relationship. So, needless to say, I never really presented a man to the public as my boyfriend for most of my adult life.
By the time I met and fell in love with my fiancé, I wasn’t frequenting clubs and parties anymore. I was in my thirties and just not interested in long lines and late nights followed by hangover-nursing. A lot of cute guys I once flirted with and dated endlessly didn’t see me around as much, and when they did the flirtation continued. This, of course, was before I got engaged.
Though I was settling into my new life as a perpetual girlfriend and later a fiancé, I never thought the previous cuties I once danced and flirted with would totally peg me as the type who would never get married.
One of my dear friends was at a conference last year and ran into a mutual friend of ours. I have flirted with this guy on numerous occasions and even entertained the idea of having a fling with him YEARS ago, but always talked myself out of it.
While at the conference, she and old flirting buddy sat down for conversation and she mentioned to him that I was engaged. He did not believe it. She later went on to tell me that she said my first name, middle name and last name and it still would not register with him that I was in fact getting married. He stated to her, “I do not believe you. She is not the marrying kind, like she never wants to get married. If she is getting married, then I am getting married…and we know that isn’t happening…”
What the what?!?
Also On HelloBeautiful:
Celebs Tweet Their Thoughts About #JusticeForSandraBland
1. Jesse Williams
#SandraBland's treatment while attempting to travel freely on HER public roadways has been acknowledged as unlawful. She is already dead.
2. Taraji P. Henson
"SAY HER NAME #SandraBland"
3. Ava DuVernay
"'Why are you arresting me?' Because you know your rights. Because I can. Because no one'll believe you. #SandraBland"
4. Kim Kardashian
#WhatHappenedToSandraBland We need answers!!!! This is NOT ok! This is all shady! They need to own up to this & tell the truth!
5. Jussie Smollet
"A loss 4 words. #SandraBlandMatters #BlackLivesMatter 👈🏿tell me this should change once the nation shows that we do. "
6. Snoop Dogg
🙏🌹. Sandra. Rip. 🌹🌹
7. K. Michelle
R.I.P to this queen. This could've been any of us. My prayers go out to her family. #sandrabland https://instagram.com/p/5fvlO_AhCf/
8. Gabrielle Union
SAY HER NAME!!! #SandraBland #SandraBland #SandraBland #SayHerName
"We must get to the cause of #sandrabland death because this CANNOT happen again #deathorfreedom"
10. David Banner
"When will we fight back. A man's duty on earth is to protect women and children. Where are the gangsters? Preachers? We need you. Please."
11. Nicki Minaj
"Rest In Peace #SandraBland"
12. Talib Kweli
"We the people ask @LorettaLynch to investigate #SandraBland #KimberleeRandleKing RETWEET "
Signs. Signs. Signs all around us. The Message is Here. #SandraBland
14. Missy Elliot
"When I look at the #SandraBland traffic video it brings so many emotions😳😢😡😡😤!"
15. Jessie J
"God bless your soul Sandra | #sandrabland | Change needs to come |Justice needs to be served | Heart… https://instagram.com/p/5fV79mQ0aw/ "
16. Jackee Harry
"It's time y'all, it's time.." #SandraBland #BlackLivesMatter
"In memory of #SandraBland these things don't make no kinda sense "
18. Holly Robinson Peete
I really don't look forward to having ANOTHER difficult conversation w my kids tonight...but here we go again😧💔 #SandraBland #SayHerName 😢
19. Jeffrey White
Sadly, doesn't matter by whose hand she died. Unjustified arrested set the outcome in motion. The state murdered her. #JusticeForSandraBland
Sandra could have been your mother, sister, aunt, friend or if she wasn't killed the community outreach advisor A&M. #SandraBland
21. Joan Smalls
"My heart is broken. Sending my deepest condolence to her family and friends. May you find Strength, Peace and Justice. When will this stop? #EqualityForAll #RIP #Why #SayHerName
22. Gladys Knight
Sandra Bland.... #SayHerName #SandraBland
23. Cara Delevigne
Things need to change NOW #SANDRABLAND #Justice #Equality
24. Meek Mill
"Rip to that young lady that lost her life about a traffic stop! 🙏 ima make sure I pray for her and her family! 🙏😄😄😄"