As I mentioned in a previous post, my fiancé and I are different in many ways. One of our major differences is based on efficiency. I am efficient, he is not. I get things done quick, fast and in a hurry, he takes his precious time. He is the turtle, I am the hare.
I have learned to deal with this difference in execution styles by adjusting my communication of deadlines to him. Say if we have to be at dinner at 7:30pm, I have to tell him the reservation is for 6:30pm. If we have to travel on Sunday, I tell him we need to leave on Saturday. If the movie starts at 8:00pm, you guessed it…. I tell him it starts at 7:30pm. Some may see these as little white lies, however, I view it as a means of keeping the peace. He does not feel rushed and I do not feel unnerved that it takes him forever to get dressed or to even get in the shower.
He is a very smart man and has decided to utilize my efficiency to his advantage. Knowing that it will not take me a long time to run errands, he will sit at his laptop, ESPN playing in the background and start talking about all the things he needs to do the next day. He often times says he is just talking out loud to himself, however, I know he is just making mental note of everything he wants me to complete for him the next day. I always know it’s coming, I just choose to ignore it.
Since my schedule is so flexible and he leaves for work at 6:30 am, not to return until 6:00pm, I can get things done for the house with much more ease than he can. I honestly don’t mind running errands for the house and also personal errands for him, but sometimes it can get excessive, especially when I need to work too. When we were dating he never asked for much, however, once we became engaged and I came to the new city with him for three months it became a whole ‘nother beast.
“Babe, don’t forget to pick up my dry cleaning, send these paper via FedEx, print out those documents so we can sign, scan this so I can send it to the insurance company, pick up my packages from the post office, call the maintenance guy about the dishwasher, see about the sale at Target cause I need some new glow in the dark workout gloves, etc., etc., etc.” And this is literally all in one breath, before 6:30am, when I still have my head stuffed under a pillow while he smacks on his morning cereal.
What part of the game is this?
If….well, let me correct that…WHEN I scoff at him he gives me a big smile and says, “But babe, you are so much better at getting things done than I am. You move so fast. You make lists. You are just more efficient. You knew what you were getting when you accepted my ring. This is forever, so get used to it.” And he is absolutely correct.
I am better at running errands than he is because I can focus on what needs to be done and when it needs to be done. I am not quickly distracted by the smallest interruption when I am focused on finishing tasks. However, the moment I realized that wives, despite my previous mirage of what the role of an actual wife was, are actually just glorified assistants draped in diamonds was the moment I decided I need to ask for more diamonds!
About the Author: She holds multiple degrees, is a natural born socialite, a business owner, an extreme exerciser of faith and a realist. After 3 years of dating and a year of being engaged, she is ready to tell the truth about what to expect when you are transitioning from being a single woman with no worries to a future wife. For the sake of these articles, let’s just call her Nina. After all, that was here “Club Name” for over 15 years….so yeah, introducing Nina.
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