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(From Brownsista.com)

I am not an expert in love or relationships but I have had my share of experiences and more importantly I am an observer of all things. What erks me the most as I become older and wiser through life is when I see younger women making some of the biggest mistakes with the men of their lives. Often these are mistakes that cannot be taken back or corrected. This list is for my 16 year old female cousins who just started dating boys. It is for the 20 somethings who like me, are still learning from their mistakes. Hell, it can even be for the 40 year old women who haven’t dated in ten years but are back on the market. As always, please feel free to add more to the list and share the knowledge. If we don’t help us, who the hell will?

1. Sometimes men lie, even when they dont have to.

Unfortunately some men lie like it is their second nature. Sometimes they don’t even have a real reason to lie they just feel the need to. Only they know the mystery behind that one. At any rate, there has to be a balance as with all things. You do not need to assume that everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie but at the same time you should not take for granted that he would never lie to you. Men are imperfect just as you are and they make mistakes. Therefore there is a thin line between being a trusting woman and being a naive one.

2. Not all men are bad guys.

I know that some women were brought up to believe that all men are bad guys. This is a rule that some women teach their daughters for fear that they will no doubt be taken advantage of one day by some loser dude named Tyrone. This fear undoubtedly comes from the Mothers own past experiences. No woman wants to see another woman hurting because of a man. However, just as not all women are hoes and gold diggers not all man are trifling and manipulators. There are some good guys out there hiding under a rock here and there. Sometimes it takes time for your paths to cross.

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3. Not all men are good guys.

In the same token, not all men are good guys. Intentions are a b**ch! You never truly know a persons intentions. Unfortunately, there are those trifling brothers out there out on the hunt. As a woman your job is to protect yourself but as mentioned before you have to keep a balance. You don’t want to be so protected that you miss a potential genuinely good guy. You also do not want to be so open that you let every Tom, Dick and June Bug into your life, apartment, bank account and between your legs. You should take the time to get to know a man before you get into a relationship with him. Granted, you can never know a person 100 percent no matter long you are with them, but you can at least have a idea of the type of person he is. Balance is the key.

4. Men are not always taught to be self sacrificing like us.

In society women are the caregivers, mothers, wives, nurturers. Which makes us the ones more liable to sacrifice our own happiness, career, health for the betterment of our family. Sometimes, I feel as if we are molded from the time we are little girls to be givers and the caretakers of others. Unfortunately, little boys are usually not taught those same traits. Which is why when we reach adulthood we continue on with those same behaviors that have been subconsciously drilled into our heads. We wonder how can our man be so damn self centered and not think of you or your feelings? He is not programmed to. Not being self centered and or selfish are traits that in many cases has to be learned by men and it usually does not happen until they are older. Unless otherwise taught, they are by nature more selfish than we are. Sucks doesn’t it?

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