Tonight we got a treat—two back-to-back episodes of Love and Hip-Hop New York, which was basically like Love and Hip-Hop: The Movie. There was a lot of relationship drama in these episodes, so here’s the shortest version possible of the juiciest stuff from both.
The first episode opens with Judy filling Yandy in on what happened with Kim and Mendeecees’ babymamas. That chat didn’t end well because Kim had a heart attack in the middle of it. She’s okay now, but this situation made Yandy and Judy really want to make things right with the babymama squad, for real, for real this time. When does “making it right” on this show ever work, especially in situations like this?
Remember Cardi B’s producer, Swift? He’s the creep who pushes up on Cardi (and kissed her), yet has a girlfriend in London. He thinks neither will find out about the other since they live in separate countries. Welp, Cardi B found out about his girlfriend because he gave her his phone.
Here’s the deal: Cardi B’s phone died while they were in the studio so Swift offered his, thinking that the time difference between New York and London meant that his girl would be asleep and therefore, not hitting him up. Cardi B found text messages where Asia was talking smack about her. You know how Cardi is, she informed Swift that if she sees his girlfriend, she’s effing her up on sight. Swift is nonchalant about the whole thing, and it really just seems like he doesn’t care—but he better, because Asia is visiting New York soon.
Snoop then linked up with Sofi Green to inform her that they can’t work together since her overbearing girlfriend, J. Adrienne, isn’t feeling the situation. Snoop thinks Sofi Green is so talented that she plans to link her with Juelz Santana. But then she finds out Sofi wants to act as well, and decides to help with her acting career. Mmmkay.
Basically, this means Kimbella and Adrienne are about to be on Sofie like white on rice. You know how insecure stalker girlfriends do.
Yandy linked up with Erika and Samantha at a graduation party for Mendeecees’ two oldest kids. The kids went to go play with their grandmothers while Yandy, Kim and Samantha tried to have another “civilized” conversation. Surprise, it doesn’t go well. Samantha is still accusing Yandy of being fake and trying to throw her under the bus as a mom. Then Erika rehashed her version of events with Mendeecees. Basically, Erika says that Yandy was the side chick. Yandy says that it was Erika who was “just a slide,” and we’re all just watching like:
Will the real jump off please stand up? #LHHNY
— Starr R. (@Starr_Rocque) December 13, 2016
I mean, it sounds like they both got played since they were with Mendeecees at the same time and can’t get their stories straight about who was jumping off with him…but I digress. Yandy’s “slide” remark obviously didn’t sit well. Samantha got pissed off with Yandy for being condescending—especially after Yandy started throwing her ring in their faces—so she left. Then Erika left, but not before they traded insults. This does raise an important question: Why are Samantha and Erika able to get along with each other, but not Yandy? Is Yandy the type to throw rocks then hide her hands? Hmmm…
Back to the Asia, Swift and Cardi situation…
Asia is in town and confronted Swift about talking smack about her. Then Swift did a bad job playing dumb. And then he lied to Asia, claiming he didn’t cheat on her. That was enough to calm Asia down (for now), but hold that thought because it’s about to go down.
Speaking of going down, J Adrienne had the gall to confront Sofi Green at an audition (set up by Snoop, by the way) about feeding Snoop strawberries on her podcast. Y’all. J. Adrienne got Sofi Green’s location from Instagram.
Anyway, they started arguing in front of everyone, and even almost threw hands, but security broke it up. J. Adrienne confronted Snoop later on about still working with Sofi. Snoop seems to really want things to work with J. Adrienne, but she’s tired of her demanding, possessive and overbearing ways. Good luck with that.
This next moment is the moment of moments. Rich Dollaz’s daughter, Ashley, is staying with him for the summer, and he also has a new girlfriend, Jade, that he’s serious about. Jade is a 24-year-old paralegal/Instagram Model from LA, and she decided to wear booty shorts to meet Ashley. Beyond the booty shorts, though, Ashley wasn’t feeling Jade at all and let her know it. She wasn’t rude about it, but very forthright with her concerns that her father is headed down the same path that he’s been on before with women. The way Ashley went in on Jade was so immaculate.
LOLOLOL the 16-year-old got more sense than the 24-year-old. #LHHNY
— Starr R. (@Starr_Rocque) December 13, 2016
Back to the Cardi B situation…
This is the moment we’ve been waiting for. Cardi B and Swift just so happened to be in his hotel room after a performance on Cardi’s tour, and you guessed it, Asia rolled up stalker-style to see what was happening. Cardi B kept true to her word and smacked fire out of Asia on sight. It went down so hard that Cardi B snatched off her own wig to fight. Guys, when someone snatches their own wig off to fight they definitely mean business. Anyway, Cardi told Swift that he’s off the tour before storming out. Asia then went off on Swift and told him that she’s done with him.
Then, Cardi came back in the room and popped off on Swift, too. Both women felt like he let them be disrespected and that he refused to be accountable for his actions.
Now let’s get into episode two. This one wasn’t as juicy as the first, but we did get to meet Juju, Camron’s girlfriend, who is a newbie on the show. Basically, Juju’s storyline with Cam’ron is that they got engaged a few years ago, and have been together since 2008. They’re obviously not married yet and she wants babies, but he’s always working and avoiding true commitment. You know what this is about to be.
Drewski and Sky broke it off because he wanted to stay true to his word and put Bianca on “Make it Work,” not Mariahlynn which is who Sky wanted. Also, Drewski wanted more trust from Sky (but he also basically wants to continue acting like a douche too, so Sky bounced). Meanwhile, Bianca is still acting thirsty and pushing up on Drew.
DJ Self had a launch party for Gwinin Entertainment and now Mariahlynn is salty with him because he promised that she’d be the First Lady of Gwinin, but debuted another artist who referred to herself as, you guessed it, the first lady of Gwinin. Mariahlynn felt betrayed by Self. However, his explanation made sense—Mariahlynn took too long to sign the contract so he had to keep it moving.
Question: What the heck does Gwinin mean? I know it was explained during Self’s first season on the franchise, but my eyes glazed over and I refuse to hit Google.
Anyway, Cardi B met up with Swift to apologize for attacking him and Asia, and she wants him to come back on tour with her. He said he needed time to think about that, but, like, he’s acting as if he didn’t play himself by lying about having a girlfriend. Cardi B needs to just leave him alone.
Rich Dollaz and Jade haven’t spoken since the day Ashley read Jade her rights, but they decided to get together to talk. Jade was mad at Rich for not being apologetic about how Jade treated her. But like, is Rich supposed to chose her over his daughter?
And then Moniece walked in with the intention of getting Rich back. You know Moniece is another crazy one (because Rich does like ’em mentally unstable, so his daughter was right to go in on Ashley) so next week is about to be on and poppin’.