Define The Relationship Before It is Too Late
There is one subject that never seems to escape my girlfriends and I, and that is boys, or men for those who are deserving. Everyday it seems one girlfriend or another is having issues with her man. Most of the time it is easy for me to diagnose. My girlfriends dread the “Define the Relationship” talk. A DTR can be a girls worst enemy or best friend, but either way it at least takes you out of the unknown, grey area that many girls find themselves in.
Why is it so important to have that talk, though? If a “relationship” is going along at a steady clip and everyone seems happy, why disrupt a good thing? The answer is quite simple, eventually one of the partners is going to look to take that relationship to the next level and if the other partner doesn’t see it that way there will be problems. Nothing sets me off like one of my girlfriends saying “We are…whatever,” when talking about their relationship. If you don’t know what you are or even if you are in a relationship, of course there will be problems.
The DTR talk allows people to save months of wondering and debating what will come. Also, by setting the goals straight away it could save the heartbreak of finding out your dream man sees you as a friend with benefits. If both partners have the same expectations the only problems should come if one person readjusts their expectations. I am not saying you will have the perfect relationships just by defining your expectations, however it will at least save you that stress.
Have you ever had the DTR talk? Let us know how it went!
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Comments 3
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addictive4_08
I think anytime you cannot define the relationship,or you are still being introduced as “My Friend” there isn’t one.And I hear alot of the younger men calling their girlfriends (wifey) yes I know thats giving them supposedly #1 status.But does that mean that there is a two or a three.They use the term wifey so they wont have to make any real committment.I am an older woman but I wont allow anyone to call me that.First of all I have been somebodys real wife and second I dont need to be validated by any term other then my woman.
Kissmylyrics
Friend, companion, and caregiver is all I could ever be to anyone and when I explained that to my friend he really understood and saw the value in having that type of relationship. My feelings for him are really strong, but in this lifetime I have to sway toward my own values more than acting selfish to satisfy my own desires. Now that doesn’t mean that I won’t be hurt when I see him with someone else in the future like his wife, girlfriend or whoever, but it does mean that I can deal with my feelings very well even if I have to shed tears or take a little quiet time for my self.
AntiFeminization
With Western/American women, I DEFINE the relation, then they DEFINITELY run away.
If they can wear the pants, they jet.
Oh welps!