When I first moved here from Ohio, I had to admit that I was nervous. I had unexpectedly lost my job, was stressed out ’cause the roomie was gettin’ on my nerves, and I was worried that my stay in Brooklyn was going to be a short one. Instead, that “short one” ended up being a 5’1″ too-cute-to-be-30-something-year-old that proved that it’s not where you’re from, but where you’re at!
My boy Andreas Hale, came by for a work-related trip and to get away from experiencing a bad Zohan episode, so we decided to hit up Studio B. I am not into the hipster thing so tough – I love it or hate it – but if Williamsburg is the place to be, no tight pants-wearing dude is gonna keep me from dancin’ with those tight-pants-wearin’ girlies. Anyhoo, at the end of the night, I managed to catch this girl’s eye and, with a flash of smile, we were politickin’ something official.
Baby girl was nice – just the right size for my taller-than-Ja-Rule self – and she could talk… intelligently, at that! After Dre broke out, homegirl and I took our act on the road. Straight to – you guessed it – McDonald’s – where we talked about everything from Obama’s rise in American politics to why MTV is doing a Real World in Brooklyn! She asks me, “Why are you single?” “Because I’m not looking for love,” I answered. She smiled. I did too… and like that, it was Lady and the Tramp all over again… but with french fries.
She was all that and a McFlurry, but there was one catch: she had a man. Even though he was an out-of-town boyfriend (St. Louis; far enough away for me to still holler), yours truly wasn’t down to be her late-night Casanova, and ended the night with hopes of hanging out again.
…The next day…
We planned to catch a movie and head to Union Square after meeting up at her place. Once that door opened, it gave way to a familiar face with a noticeably different look. I ask, “You alright?” She licks her lips in response, and all I can remember from that night was H-Town in the background, a few Hallelujahs and three broken plates…
Her tone was Pam Grier smoothness; she knew what she wanted, and I guess a part of me did, too…but I wasn’t looking for love. We got fresh, ready to step out, but there was a knock at the door. Shawty opens it up and – surprise! it was her boyfriend from St. Louis in town on a surprise red-eye visit.
As for me, I’m Joe Cool, but nervous because a situation like this could turn into an R. Kelly soap opera in a hot second. But homegirl was smooth – even for my taste. She introduced me, we shook hands and then she full-blown kissed him… in the mouth! Yes! In the mouth! I kinda felt sick to my stomach and wondered if this was how Hillary felt after finding out about Monica. Homegirl decided that spending quality time with her life-mate was more important than our date, and I hightailed it out of there like my name was the Roadrunner. I had only been gone for only about an hour when I got a text from the 30-year-old saying, “Will you come back for more?”
I just looked at the text and laughed. The bottom line is, if you’re ever in a relationship and want to make sure that one’s significant other is faithful, remember these words: “It ain’t where you’re from, it’s where you’re at…”
How important is location in love? If you thought that was funny, be sure to check out why yours truly and Eddie Murphy have something in comment! Speak on it in the comments!