In the light of the recent thirst centered around the hottest mugshot on the internet since Porsha Stewart, I started reflecting on the one time when I dated a man who is a convicted felon. Seriously, Jeremy Meeks’ mugshot caused such a stir on the internet–inspiring hilarious memes and exposing great amounts of thirst from women everywhere who either wanted to bail him out and/or have sex with him. The 30-year-old was arrested on felony weapon charges in Stockton, California, and after the Stockton Police Department when he claims the police “found” a firearm in his trunk.
While I never want to glorify a criminal, I will glorify the Lord’s name for creating such a beautiful creature. Meeks is like a bad boy version of “Grey’s Anatomy” hottie, Jesse Williams. Yum! And just because I can appreciate his devastating good looks doesn’t mean that I want to save him, scrub him down, dress him up and make him my man. I think. I’ve done that before and it’s not a good enough experience for the trade off of how beautiful he is.
Good girls aren’t the only ones who like bad boys…every girl likes a bad boy. The allure of their nonchalant attitudes is unexplainable, but certainly universal. The thirst around Jeremy’s mugshot shined light on the obvious, the more good looking you are, the more the world cares about you. We’re all just shallow, I’m just the first to admit it. (yes, that was a Kanye West reference.)
I dated a convicted felon, you should know very well. His name is Korey. I’ve talked about Korey several times. He’s the guy who showed me countless red flags early in our relationship, but I stayed…mostly because he carried around an 8-pack and was chocolately enough to cause cavities. He was also the guy who I found in my roommate’s room at 3 a.m. Oh and to add more insult to…insult, Korey was also the amazing guy who disappeared on me in the middle of our relationship.
After one of his many disappearing acts, Korey came back and told me that a lot of “crazy sh*t” has been going on in his life and most of it, he couldn’t explain to me. As a simple woman with no criminal background, I couldn’t wrap my head around why he was being so secretive.
“Babe, trust me, if I could tell you, I would. But it’s too complicated and I can’t involve you,” Korey explained over the phone. “I miss you though.”
It never failed. Korey would disappear like clockwork, come back and explain to me that he couldn’t explain his disappearance no matter how much I begged to know what would keep him from missing my friend’s wedding, our first romantic getaway or several of the other amazing dates I’d always plan for us.
Beyond being continually stood up, Korey had been locked up for a significant chunk of his life, off and on and because of that, he’s been institutionalized. Trying to plan dates around his typical routines that he refused to break was always frustrating.
“Babe, I can’t go to brunch. I have to do my laundry,” Korey said anytime I tried to make plans with him that were outside of his normal schedule.
“Seriously Korey? Laundry? That’s more important that spending time with me?” I knew the answer, but I wanted him to say it.
“It’s not that. You’ve got to understand that I’m very particular. I am institutionalized, so there’s a way that I like doing things and I just don’t break from that. But that doesn’t mean I can’t or don’t want to spend time with you.”
Finally growing weary from all the begging, Korey had an eye-opening experience and he wanted me to have the same result, so he harshly barked at me one evening after I asked yet again why he stood me up, “Danielle, I’m a f*cking criminal. And no matter how much I try, I can’t leave my past behind. All my bad decisions follow me and I can’t expect you to understand. I don’t want to drag you into this mess. As much as I want this to work, I don’t think it can. Our lives don’t match.”
I’ve always been the type of dater that tried to fit a circle into a square. I hung onto Korey mostly for shallow reasons–the similar type of reasons that many women displayed their extreme thirst for Jeremy Meeks. I’m sure I’ll be drug through the mud for admitting that sometimes I could be shallow and that lack of depth leads to me being constantly disappointed by the beautiful men that I allow myself to date. Korey was certainly no exception.
I am in no way pointing fingers at the women who donated to Meeks’ Go Fund Me page, nor am I judging those women who would honestly bail him out of jail just because of his good looks. All I am saying is, I’ve been there. And dating a convicted criminal is not glamorous, no fun and certainly not fruitful. We should all think twice before we devote ourselves to a pretty face.
Have you ever dated a convicted felon?