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Arguing. Screaming Matches. Disagreements. Call them whatever you like. If you are in a relationship (and have passed the honeymoon phase), chances are you’re going to have a couple of fights. Why? Because you’re human and so is your boo. Still, sometimes it is simply better to bite your tongue and keep the peace.

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Here are a few of those times!

1. When You’re Coming Into The Argument With An Attitude

Maybe it’s your time of the month, maybe something is bothering you at work, maybe you are having family stress or financial stress, whatever the case maybe, if you know you’re being stressed out by something that has nothing to do with your relationship – don’t bring it into the relationship! It is better to grit your teeth, ask for some time and space if you need it but don’t raise hell when there was barely smoke to begin with.

2. When They Are Coming Into The Argument With An Attitude

Spend enough time with someone and you will discover sooner or later their patterns of behavior and what sets them off. If you get the sense that your partner is having a bad day or is frustrated with something, tell them openly that you want to discuss something with them that’s been bothering but you want to both be in the right frame of mind to do so. There is never any point in getting into things, when one person is clearly definitely not in the mood.

3. When You Know They Are Right

I don’t believe anyone who says humility is easy. It’s not. Our egos are at stake whenever we admit that we are wrong. But because we are human, sometimes we will be wrong. That’s how it works. Sometimes we have a hard time saying out loud, “I am wrong and I am sorry….” So let’s start with baby steps, “You’re probably right, I should probably have reconsidered…”

4. In Front Of Your Friends Or Their Friends

There is nothing wrong with a harmless back and forth in front of friends but when people start side-eyeing you, and feeling uncomfortable, it’s time to call it quits. It’s an awkward situation for everyone. Truth is it’s not even a good idea to involve outsiders in every little detail of your relationship because usually you’re only giving one side of things and moreover, a lot of people can get in your head and give you bad advice. Yes, it’s good to have a confidante you can can trust when you have an issue but don’t make it common practice to be “that couple” in your friend group.

5. In Public

How and why couples fight in public? There are few things that stress me out more than seeing public arguments. There is usually a spark that lights the fire, but in reality, how do people not feel embarrassed airing out dirty laundry for anyone and everyone? Seriously, cap it. There is no need for anyone who doesn’t know you to know your business before they even know your name. No matter how frustrated you feel, and no matter how cold the silence may feel, it can wait.

6. When You’re Not Going To Win

There are some things in life you’re not going to win. “What is unavoidable must be endured,” and all of that. If you don’t like your S.O.’s friends or family or the way they drive, you can probably be honest about it a few times. And maybe you can compromise (as you both should) but recognize that some arguments are unwinnable (we know that’s not a word). If you love your S.O. enough, you learn how to work around these. But bringing things up over and over again that they can’t change or don’t want to change, just make gives you status as sounding like a broken record.

7. When You’re Just Sweating The Small Stuff.

I am convinced that at least 80% of the time (don’t quote me, I don’t have the research to back it up) most arguments can be avoided if we’d just not sweat the small stuff. Think about this every time you feel yourself about to get into an argument, “Is this really worth it? Am I making something out of nothing?” Because to be honest, life and love are too wonderful to be letting small stuff get in the way.

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