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1. “I’m An Honest Cheater!”

Because that’s not an oxymoron.

2. “Southern Belle Beatdown”

As a woman from the south, I’d like to say we’re typically known to be sweet. The beatdowns? Not so much.

3. “I’m So Ugly”

Ricki Lake tackled hefty topics, like body image. While I love and appreciate her for opening up the dialogue, the show’s title…wow.

4. “You’re Gay .. Stay Out Of My Life!”

I was an avid Ricki Lake watcher, from her used to be a not, now I’m hot shows to that time she brought on the women of the KKK, she’s always chasing an interesting story line. This one was just…special.

5. “I’m Back Again To Prove Another Baby Isn’t Mine”

“I love babies, but not babies that aren’t mine,” said the potential father during the talk show confessional on Maury.

6. “I’m Afraid Of Gum, Crabs & Balloons”

I get it, people are debilitating fears, but some fears are like…huh?

7. “I Escaped From Prison To Be With You But Am I The Father Of Your Baby?”

Well, at least he’s out?

8. “I Saw My Husband on Fire Can Our Marriage Survive”

Now what now?

9. “My Ex’s Mistress is Now My Girlfriend and Were Raising His Daughter Together!”

My head is spinning. What and why?

10. “9 Shows, 11 Men Later…Will I Finally Find The Father Today?”

There’s no way that anyone should need this many paternity tests for one baby. How many men have you been with within one day, week or month? SMH.

11. “I’m A Sex Escort … And A Man!”

She recently revealed to her boyfriend that she’s an escort, but she brought him on Jerry Springer to tell him that she’s also a he!

12. “You Slept With My Stripper Sister!”

Her sister brought her on Jerry Springer to tell her that she’s sorry for sleeping with her boyfriend…again. Whet?!

13. “I’m Your Pimp, Not Your Boyfriend”

A pimp reached out to Jerry Springer so that he could bring on one of his prostitutes and let her know that she is not his girl. Well then.

14. “You’re Not My Girlfriend, You’re My Stalker!”

What’s the difference between a stalker and a girlfriend? Let Jerry Springer’s guest tell you.

15. “Am I Pregnant By A Gay Man?”

How does this happen?

16. “Your Husband Knocked Me Up”

Well isn’t that sweet!?

17. “Honey, Meet My Mistress”

Leave it to Jerry Springer to have a man introduce his woman to his mistress.

18. “You’re Too Fat To Be A Drag Queen”

Drag Queens come in all shapes and sizes, until they don’t.

19. “Think You’re Hot? You’re Not!”

Ever meet someone with such high self-esteem that it’s obnoxious and comes off more conceited than anything? Ricki Lakes constantly had a show for them!

20. “I Slept With Your Girlfriend & Mom”

He wins the worst boyfriend of the year award, hands down.

21. “I’m Praying My Brother’s Not My Baby’s Father”

Girl, this should not even be an option!

22. “I Play People Outside My Race!”

In this case, “play” translates as wrong-doing or treating your significant other wrong because you know you can. The people who came on this show admitted they like to play men who are outside of their race. Why? Watch!

23. “I Cheated Because You’re Fat”

And you’re not? Sir…!

24. “I’m Psychic, He’s Cheating”

Listen, when this woman said she’s psychic and was asked what she sees, she said, “I’m about to kick some ass.” Why Lord?

25. “Is My Mum Trying to Murder Me?”

Honor thy father & thy mother…until your mother tries to kill you, then bring her on a talk show.

26. “Is My Girlfriend Sleeping With Her Own Brother ?”

Uhm, ew.

27. “How Could My Boyfriend Destroy His Own Face?”

On The Jeremy Kyle Show, a woman has grown weary of her boyfriend’s need to tattoo his face. People and their problems..

28. “Dad, I’m A Pregnant Prostitute”

Thank you Jerry Springer for introducing us to the pregnant prostitute. My life is complete.

29. “Married To Your Dad, But Want You Back”

The Jerry Springer Show has become one of the biggest jokes of all the talk shows on TV. Case in point–this particular show.

30. “You Caught Me Naked In Bed…But I Didn’t Cheat”


31. “I’m Praying My Brother Is Not My Baby’s Father!”

Maury…I’m gonna need for you to get some couth.

32. “I’ll Prove A 13 Year Old Boy Fathered My Baby”

Yeah, I’m gonna need for statutory rapists not to out themselves on national television.

33. “My Fear Of Mustard & Pickles Is Ruining My Life”

Everyone has fears, but Maury has a way of exploiting the weirdest of fears and I’m like…bwahahahaaa!

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