Growing up, the only thing that could separate me and my best friends Alexis and Shavon from hanging out was being put on punishment by our mothers. Aside from that, all three of us were tied at the hip, oftentimes walking home from school and then getting on the phone later that night to discuss how fine Stephán Urkél was or was going on between Dawson and Joey on the latest episode of “Dawson’s Creek.”
Things began to change when boys started getting our attention, but nonetheless, we made adjustments as girls and still maintained our relationship. In some cases, we became closer than ever when we learned those hard lessons only young love can teach you. But somewhere after college and the introduction to the real world, I realized having adult relationships would prove to be as daunting as a full-time job.
For the record, as a woman, having a solid core of female friends is not only important, it’s a lifeline. My friends provide different perspectives and oftentimes hard truths that I need to hear. However, with an aggressive work week that far exceeds 40 hours, coupled with an unrelenting fire and ambition that equates to long hours on the computer far past 5pm, sometimes picking up the phone to say ‘hey girl,’ is exhausting.
I know that sounds selfish at best, and lazy at worst, but it’s honest. It does not mean I love my girls any less. I have very few friends that understand that I can indeed love them from a distance, as well as love them sporadically, without becoming offended. These 20s that I am living in are the most detrimental years to my life and my career.
Another reason for my five feet of distance from the girl zone is my own personal growth. Gone are the days if a boy called, I had to run to Alexis or Shavon for advice, approval or acceptance of the latest John who I swore would be “the one.” Shenequa is learning to trust Shenequa.
Adult friendships require a certain finesse that I haven’t yet figured out. I understand when life gets me down, or my boy toy gets on my last nerve its your girls who shoulder that hour-long late night phone call, but until I figure out how to be Shenequa, get my footing in my career, my adult friendships will unfortunately take a blow.
How do you handle your adult friendships? Let’s chat @GoldingGirl617
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