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Black Man in a Suit Giving a GiftIt feels like ages since my last post- a cracked laptop screen and5-city tour will make you think that time is pulling a Usain Bolt, sans the finish line and gold medal. We are a week out from celebrating Mothers Day, and  you’re either on the gift-buying end trying to please mama or you’re on the receiving end looking forward to the special day.

While going through my Facebook posts the other day, I noticed I was tagged in a conversation about Mothers Day gifts for baby mothers.

MUST READ: For Mom With Love: Mother’s Day Gift Guide

The question was this: Should fathers who are no longer with their child’s mother get her a gift for Mother’s Day?

I was surprised by the lack of emotion and passion from the men involved in the conversation, A few expressed that child support was enough of a gift, while some had no problem with gift giving and others said it was conditional based upon their relationship. The consensus was that if the baby mother got along with the father then she was deserving of a gift.

This question hit home because a) I’m a product of a single parent household b) My boyfriend is a father.

As the new girl on the block I accept that I will never fully understand the relationship they had because I was not in it. I don’t know what causes two people to create life then move on. I didn’t understand it as a little girl growing up and I have yet to understand it as a childless woman in her thirties. I do know that there is enough trauma children go through when their parents separate, so if there is anything I can control in a situation like this, it’s to advocate for the children involved.

No matter what manipulative, sneaky, hurtful things a baby mother has done or said to her child’s father I strongly believe she deserves acknowledgement for helping to raise that child. Acknowledgement can be as simple as an in-person thank you or a card you make or choose with your child. Forget about your selfish thoughts, anger, and resentment for one day I beg you.

Nothing hurts more than seeing two people you care about argue and fight. There are a lot of single parent households in our community and although we can’t snap our fingers and change this overnight we can certainly take baby steps towards promoting more balanced families.

That’s just my take on it, what is your belief, is it good taste for fathers to get their baby mother a Mother’s Day gift? Why or Why not?

On Friday May 17th I bring my brand of heated, sexy intellectual talk to the beautiful Bay area!

We will be discussing how money effects the decisions we make as far as love and sex are concerned. For Love or Money? Battle of the Sexes Oakland happens on May.17th inside the BRAND NEW Imagine Affairs Art Lounge 408 fourteenth Street. Early bird tickets are $25 until May.1st. For more info and to purchase tickets visit: http://battleoakland.eventbrite.com

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