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One of the most treacherous things you can do to your love life is stay in a do-si-do relationship with an ex way after it should have been over. Mentally it starts to break you down, behaviors we would not normally accept start to become rationalized as love. We tell the world that we are single, but on the rare and lonely occasion this person somehow makes it back into our lives, our heart just refuses to let go. Depending on how long the relationship lasted, you may have started to see your ex lover’s family as yours, checking in, or even better, they check in on you.

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We know intuitively when a relationship is over–the fights become pointless and there is no eye contact when speaking to each other. What was fueled by passion is now cold and listless.

The hardest part about breaking up with someone is not the actual moment when the ties are severed, it’s the aftermath. It’s when you are left in solitary confinement picking up the pieces of broken heart shattered all over your bedroom floor. Conversely, you may have been the heart breaker and are now left to deal with heart wrenching attempts to “patch it up.” As humans we generally do not want to see others in pain, so this need to fix or make peace can often bring us back to our exes without even trying to heal or see the issues within the relationship for what they really are.

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