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I have spent the past 5 Valentine holidays alone. My relationships followed a blueprint. I would become enticed by a chocolate/mocha/caramel cutie in spring just as the weather warmed up and libidos were at an all time high, then as the Christmas holidays drew near I would turn into love’s scrooge as things dissolved. I wondered what I was doing wrong and why I deserved this treatment. I had no idea what I was doing to end up lonely on most Hallmark holidays.

I’ll admit Valentine’s Day usually triggers anxiety, as soon as the stores start filling their shelves with red, pink and hearts I do everything in my power to block them out but this year I’m excited.

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Before I tell you why I’m excited, allow me to rewind back to Valentine’s Day 2012. Not only did I profess on this very blog that I was anti-Valentine day, I had come close to dissolving yet another relationship, I was feeling ambivalent about our future together because I hardly ever saw him due to his hectic work schedule (or so he says) but according to him if we chatted and text we were good- right! Mind you, the future had already been decided but like most women I held on for clarity and to see if the absence of moi would make the workaholic change his mind. Truth is I didn’t need clarity, I already had it, what I needed was to let him go and focus inward. So I decided that I was not going to stay inside and mope on Valentine’s Day, In fact on that day I was actually in great spirits with a lot of energy.

I went to yoga class and at the last minute decided to take myself out to dinner. We had Japanese food, me, myself and I. As I left yoga class one of best friends and now boyfriend, called me. I was shocked to hear from him and thought that perhaps he was about to ask me out  on a pity date as he knew about what I was going through with the workaholic, but instead he was curious as to why I was spending the day alone, in fact he was baffled. Since I was occupied I kept the conversation short and proceeded to enjoy my dinner, little did I know we would end up together months later.

Long story short, I made my Valentine’s Day epic for me and I expect every single woman to get her butt off the couch and own this day in 2013!

Here are 5 ways single women can make Valentine’s Day epic:

  • Give Love: Skilled in the kitchen? Host a mini dinner party for a few close friends and family
  • Try Something New: Sign up for a class at the gym or get out and take a fitness class (Yoga, spinning class etc) that will help you relieve some of that Valentine’s Day tension and anxiety you may be feeling
  • Girl Night Out: There is an increase of Valentine’s day mixers for single folks, get your Google on and drag your girls with you. I’m hosting a lovely girls night out in my hometown of Toronto on Feb.8th (Makeovers + lap dance tutorial + alter ego exploration = fun!). Think: Beyonce’s “Dance For You” :)
  • Shopping Trip: Pick up a small box of chocolates, a bouquet of flowers, and a new outfit just for you. If you can’t show yourself some love you’ll be hard pressed to find it elsewhere.
  • Take my Valentine’s Day Challenge: If you’re really not sure how to overcome the Valentine Day drought and you’re sick of being alone on every Hallmark holiday- I’ve got just the thing! 14 days of challenges designed to boost your confidence and give you the tools you need to have men banging down your door in 2013. Check out this link to sign up.

Single? It’s not the end of the world, it’s just another stage in life, so keep it fun and exciting like you would any other stage in life.

Keep in mind that there are women who are attached and miserable, to be with someone does not necessarily mean you’re happy however if there is one thing I know, it’s that if you’re not happy within you won’t be able to be happy with anyone else. Women who lack confidence and high self-worth are targets for heart break, don’t let that be you- I want you to be happy and yes, happy exists.

If you have burning relationship questions, I’m here for you email

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