I’ll admit it, I had already thought of Mickey “Memphitz” Wright as “guilty” prior to our conversation. Just two weeks before he and I spoke on the phone, I met his ex-girlfriend K. Michelle who used the super successful season of “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” as a platform to share her story about an alleged domestic violence incident between her and the now-married record executive. I mean, I watched the series just like you, and thought, why would she lie about being abused? or better yet, continue to lie about it? But, as I have learned in life, people just do. Not saying she is, just saying I had never even contemplated fibbing as an option.

When Memph answered the phone, he was jolly. His voice was kind and warm and he thanked for me for taking the time to talk with him. Already, my perception of the “Real Mistresses Of Atlanta” creator started to change. Suddenly, visions of him shedding a tear at the alter of his wedding to Toya, revisited my memory. The domestic violence allegations made against him has done a great job at clouding his image. To be frank, I don’t know what happened between he and K. Michelle on the day in question, and after hearing several sides of the story, I believe something (I have no clue what) did happen. But who are we, better yet, who am I to condemn and judge this man when I sin, just in different ways?

As our conversation progressed, I realized he is a regular man, one who once proclaimed that he would never get married and matured with age, because now he is and happy about it. I guess that’s life, ya know, what you once did or said doesn’t define you…

With a pending lawsuit against Michelle for defamation of character, we wanted to know: how it has affected his relationship with Toya and how she feels about it. And, why not ask a married man, his tips for getting the ring!

HB: How has the whole K.Michelle incident affected your relationship?

Memphitz: It hasn’t affected my relationship. I basically told my wife all of this and even when me and my wife were dating. I basically told her everything that I was going through with that person and the type of stuff that was going on. She was telling me all the stuff that was going on in the relationship she was in with this football player, whatever. I told her everything about this person and as soon as I got wind there was gonna be a show coming out, I told her, that’s the girl. She was like, ‘Oh.’ I used to play Michelle’s music. It wasn’t anything foreign to my wife. When it started happening, my wife was coming at me like, ‘wow you said that.’ I’m not tripping. My wife is cool. I feel that me and my wife have such great communication skills that by the time something is floating around or coming up, we’ve already discussed or joked about it.

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HB: Speaking of Toya, you guys seem like you have such a great chemistry. How did you know that she was the one?

Memphitz: The fact that she hit me on the head with a club, and told me, You’re the one.’ Nah, just joking! I mean, this may sound cheesy, but it was like a look when we first met. Even though it was three years later when we actually got married, the look told me everything. From day one. And then it was just a friendship that later on turned into a marriage. That three second stare in the beginning, I knew something was weird about it. She ended up being my wife.

HB: What’s the most beautiful thing about Toya?

Memphitz: Her confidence. I love her confidence and that she challenges me to be great-greater than I think I am.

HB: When you were up there (at your wedding), looking into her eyes, what were you thinking?

Memphitz: I was thinking a lot of things. Some of my groomsman, they were like, ‘Oh my lord, he’s really up there.’ Cause I was such a certain way before I got married… But at that moment, standing up there, I had no doubts, or no regrets. I just was like, this is supposed to be happening and this is who I’m supposed to be with. Who I’m supposed to be doing this with.

So that’s what I was thinking. There was a part of me that felt undeserving, a part of me that felt super deserving. It was a lot of things going through my head. Am I the man for this job? You know, just my normal butterflies. Whoever gets me standing up in front of that pastor, she’s bad. I would like to meet her. That’s who it was. I even told my wife when we was dating, ‘I’ll never get married. You can forget about it!’ And she was like, ‘Oh, wow!’ She didn’t really pressure me or nothing. I was just like, ‘I can’t let her get away.’ Every woman I had ever dealt with before that was like, you know, needed me or had a lot of different issues. And not that we don’t have our issues, me and my wife, separately and together. We don’t have this perfect marriage. But at the same time, it’s things that I can deal with. Also things about her that I have never witnessed in another person that I’ve dealt with.

HB: What was the scariest thought you had about getting married?

Memphitz: Same woman for the rest of my life. It’s kinda like, I think women-real women grow up thinking one day. They see the wedding, they see the dress, they know who their bridesmaids are gonna be, they know that this marriage ceremony is gonna happen. Not that men don’t see family first as well, but on our way of thinking, from boys to men, it’s a lot of confidence and ego attached to how many women you can convince to come out of those clothes and do what you want them to do. Sexually and mentally, it’s like all of a sudden, you go into this thing where it’s one women. That’s almost like having someone used to eating at a table full of food half of their life then suddenly you say, ‘This is all you need. Just eat this. This will do. This will do everything it needs to do for you. Instead of all this you want, just take this one meal that you need.’ It’s kinda hard for a man to say, ‘Wait a minute. You want me to go from eating this and that to just this one meal everyday? It’s the woman that changes the man. You can do whatever you want to with as many women you can, but when that right one comes along and she gets in your head, however she gets in your head and whatever happens, you realize you don’t want this one to get away. And that’s that meal that you need.

Tweet me your thoughts @HB_Shamika

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