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I have ugly days once in a while, and every time I have them or  when I’m dressed down along comes a gentleman eying me down like I’m a piece of BBQ slathered with that delicious honey garlic flavored sauce (yes I was hungry while writing, thank you). I may have cold in my eyes, a half done do, and maybe even a pair of raggedy sweats on and I garner more attention from that look than the look I may have spent time, money and effort putting together. I know I can’t be alone on this one…

It started to get a little frustrating  for a while when this would happen because generally when I’m dressed down I’m out running errands or heading to work, not really in the frame of mind to strike up a conversation with a potential suitor but this is when I attract them.

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Out of curiosity I posed the question to a few guy friends about women getting more attention when they were “out of their fashion element” and they simply said a woman is a lot more approachable when they are not walking with a push up bra, 6 inch heels and make up caked on their face.

I took in the logic and even smiled, but had difficulties accepting the answer.

You mean to tell me that every time I want to be glamorous I’m setting myself up to be lonely?

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I wasn’t with that. I may be more approachable or down to earth in a pair of jeans and chucks, but as a woman on the journey to commitment I’m not looking to fit the mold of what someone else thinks is acceptable.

I’m looking to fit a mold of what I feel is comfortable, so I can attract a like being, so whether that be me in Vickie sweats, or a little black dress I’ll rock it if it makes me feel good.

I think us women have the tendency to analyze and prod men with questions about how we can please them when not every man is the same. To me a mature man who picks up something fascinating in a woman beyond her appearance will be able to approach her whether she is dressed up or down. I appreciate a male opinion but I’m not about to put away my M.A.C collection or 6-inch heels anytime soon.

HB fam, drop some wisdom!

Men: Does a woman’s attire determine whether or not you approach her?

Women: When do most men approach you? Do you think that a woman should change her appearance to attract love?

About the author: Telisha Ng is a freelance writer and author of the Goddess Intellect blog from Toronto, Canada. Connect with her on twitter @goddess_I  or send her an email

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