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Hey Lovecakes,

This week’s episode of my reality show VH1’s Tough Love was  “Friends Don’t Let Friends Date Bitches.” I was offended then I had to think, do my friends and I let friends each other date jerks? We try not to! How about you?

When my “wasband” (Abiolacabulary. Wasband: Tthe marriage was too short to call him my ex-husband) was acting the fool and I said “he’s doing the best he can,” it was my girl Patranila who pulled my coattails. My novel Dare is about two best girlfriends trying to navigate the world of men, romance, fame and friendship. I was talking about Dare with a book club over mojitos when I got the call from Eric Benet’s fab PR goddess Liz Rosenberg.

CONFESSION. For the past few years I was not feeling Eric Benet, and truth be told, none of my girlfriends were either. To us, he embodied the epitome of doggiedom. (Abiolacabulary. Doggiedom: The State of Dogging Out a Good Woman.) All I had in my head was that Halle Berry was our girl, and dammit Eric, how could you do it?? We didn’t care that Halle has moved on and has a gorgeous daughter and hunky new man. Upon deeper reflection, we weren’t really angry at Eric, but angry at the men in our own lives, angry at our own mistakes.

FAST FORWARD. After spending an afternoon with Eric I have to tell you that we all make mistakes and he is a more thoughtful person and a fantastic musician who is intent on being a better man and an amazing single father. In the future we’ll share his thoughts about “raising a queen” — his words — his daughter India. Eric even offers dating advice, and well, what he seeks in love. This album is not about the past, but the future. One listen and you’ll see why he considers Love & Life a tribute to R&B from the 60s and the 70s. For now, check out his interview, and his new album, Love and Life. (More after the video…)

Click HQ to watch in High Quality.

Special thanks to Eric for his sensual single Chocolate Legs, which I think that ladies with all colors of legs will appreciate!! ;-) At a time when women who look like me have disappeared from movie leads, commercials, music videos and just our visual landscape in pop culture in general, we of the chocolate legs appreciate the love, Eric. Enjoy — especially for THE TRUE EBs — the nickname for Eric Benet’s dedicated fans.



OH– The best ways to get in touch are to (a) leave a comment here and I will read every single one, (b) my official site, (c) join me on, (d) email advice questions to or (e) visit .

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