Today’s lesson is for women. Men are easy. We don’t want much. Pat us on the head and tell us how wonderful we are. Make love to us (and be prepared to sometimes have unemotional, primal sex). Cook nice meals for us. Give us some time to ourselves, occasionally (especially during ball games). There really isn’t that much effort there.
The problem with the things I just listed is that they require women to give of themselves in ways that many of today’s women find uncomfortable. You have been taught to be independent and have done so with excellence – building successful careers that oftentimes put many women far ahead of the men they date. That same independence, conversely, makes it difficult for you to SUBMIT to a man. There, I said it… What!? But, even if you don’t like that word, you expect your man to submit to you.
You want him to pamper you and take you out to nice places. The woman in you wants him to come and wrap his arms around you and let you know that everything will be okay. In that, he submits to you and your needs. When the script is flipped, though, many of today’s women find it oppressive to give. I have heard many say they will not cook because they don’t think they should have to. That’s some silly nonsense. You should want to submit to your man in the same way you expect him to submit to you. There’s nothing weak or dependent about that. The tree that withstands the hurricane force winds had to bend a little to stay there.
My relationship with my fiancee is built upon mutual submission. It’s not perfect, but we’re working to make it better. Each of us is strong and not prone to submitting to someone else, but we know that our success is dependent upon getting it to a place where both of us feels like we’re doing it for love rather than obligation. That’s what it’s all about.