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hood chickEven while on a dating hiatus, the pleasures of dating a black woman can be compared to a good fight. Two combatants enter the squared circle and end up going through a rigorous exercise in futility. But… what do you do when the fight goes full-blown WWE and someone throws a chair in the ring?

Once again I found myself in the jail cell known as Lotus, and I was accompanied by a young lady whom I met at a Nas event a few months ago. Her deep, dark, cherry-smooth skin complimented her Kerry Washington-esque soup coolers… and I was actually excited because she could dance.

Not much conversation can be had in the club and we decided to play hide-’n-go-get-it in the club. She dipped out to hide amidst the crowd and I would be on the hunt. I finally stumbled upon her at the bar where she blessed me with two drinks.

Do you want some ice?” she yelled over the crowd. I shook my head “no” and continued to eye-f*ck my date. She blushed and giggled as my eyes caressed her toned frame. Finally having decided to go upstairs, where there are less people and you could actually get a conversation heard, we chilled out as she downed amaretto sours like water and talked about everything from Obama to hybrid cars.

She was cool… a little too cool… but cool nonetheless. Drunk but not drunken, I noticed a lady eye-f*ckin’ my date, too! Impressed by the universality of it all, I whispered in her ear about the secret admirer. My ebony queen took one look across the way at this femme mean-muggin’ her and a slight frown came over her face.

The other lady began her sultry walk. She had one of those struts that made men stand still for a few minutes looking dumb up on the sidewalk. I thought to myself, “I’m about to be in a College Hill moment,” and prepped my mind for the fireworks to pop off.

Almost equally beautiful, the young lady opens up her mouth, tongue piercing helping to enunciate her words, to calmly say, “So… this is how you gon’ do me?!” Confused, I let the scenario play out. My date retorted, “Don’t be like this! We already said that it’d be like this!This?! What’s “this“… I wondered?

Feeling like Rockmund Dunbar in The Family That Preys, it didn’t hit me until the tone took a turn for the worst and an insult was hurled in my direction. “You gonna do me wrong with a Redman look-a-like ma’f*cka?!” Ouch. Equally offended, my date yelled out, “Kick rocks, b*tch!” And like that… b*tch be gone.

Immediately homegirl tried to kiss and make up, but wanted to elaborate on what just happened. Seems as if they were dating around the same time she and I were, and came to an agreement about seeing other people, too. Somewhere along the lines, there was a communication gap and the result ended up being fine lesbian woman almost going coo-coo for cocoa choch – and I’d have been the only casualty.

That’s why I can’t stand dating shy b*tches,” she said. Something we had in common – I thought. “Then why keep putting yourself out there like that?” I asked. She thought about it a little bit, and with an unhappy smile said, “That’s why I’m through dating black girls!

Ladies… what constitutes cheating in a relationship with no titles? How do one’s feelings for another measure up when both parties are single? Speak on it!

The Mis-Education Of Dating

7 Ways To Glam Up Your Walk Of Shame

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  • http://www.blackplanet.com/atsaRAvuL/ atsaRAvuL

    I only date black men and I have to say I absolutely despise when they say something like, “That’s why I don’t date black girls”. Not everybody is the same! In the beginning of my last relationship the guy I was with said that crap and it was just so hysterical to me because it was a reference to something I normally do lmao.Just because a lot of black ppl do something doesn’t mean they all do and in the same rites, it also doesn’t mean that a white chick won’t do it. humanity is more complicated than that.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/michelled81/ michelled81

    LMAO!!! u funny dude!! i think its the other way around the black woman doesnt want to date you!!!

  • http://giant.blackplanet.com/point-of-view/thank-you-mr-president/ Thank You, Mr. President… | Giant Magazine

    [...] All Around The World Smile: I know, I know, I know… Mr. Single in the City can’t just pass up a pretty face. But it was more interesting to see how many couldn’t [...]

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/InToMeSeeIntimacy/ InToMeSeeIntimacy

    What do you expect from a confused drunk probably club hopping “girl”. One of the worst place to me any woman is at the club… The club you meet her and there you loose her… Try the book store. And stop generalizing all black women not all are hoodrats, loud mouth chicken heads with jacked up attitudes. Just like no all black men are thugs, drug dealers, deadbeats, on the DL, etc.

    THANK GOD FOR THE LIKES OF MICHELLE OBAMA… She defies every stereotype and the kitchen sink the world throw at us black women. And that include some black men who join in on the band wagon and the assault on the black woman’s character.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/prettyLILaggie/ prettyLILaggie

    Ok am I the confused one? I gathered that ole girl said SHE was through dating black girls not Mr. Clark. Anyway. My question is, if it is a relationship with no titles, and both parties have agreed to see other people, is it really cheating?

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Byakuugan_Mod/ Byakuugan_Mod

    I did not see that twist coming. prettyLILaggie you were not confused you read it right.

    Redman look-a-like… LMAO!!!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/RealLady/ RealLady

    my first question when I meet someone I am interested in,is: Are you gay. That may clear up any misunderstandings from the gate. The rest is on you… Let me ask, tho, what compelled you to point out the “femme” mean-muggin’ your date? Was that a fantasy you were having out loud, perhaps?

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/AskAboutMeAgain/ AskAboutMeAgain

    If titles haven’t been established how do you constitute it as a relationship? I think it all depends on what boundaries you and that person set in the beginning of your quote, unquote relationship.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Brick_Tasha/ Brick_Tasha

    I know I am kind of late but…OMG…wow I am truly amazed at this…Kevin I don’t know you but you should have had suspicions when she tried to duck and dive you at the club…many women have skeleton’s in their closet they try to hide…They say you can’t judge a book by its cover…and you truly can’t…for one you seem to be a respectable young man…but what i am not understanding is why you would want to talk to a women that is drunk or rather tipsy…i think you can find a much more respectable woman some place else…don’t lower your standards to club hoping women…because if you really think about your future do you want a woman that will be club hoping at night and leaving you at home with children….i think not…be safe and good luck in your search

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/MDHOTCOFFEE/ MDHOTCOFFEE

    is this part of the black planet family or stormfront ??? .

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/neva1bettaTx/ neva1bettaTx

    theres a difference between girls and women..as soon as men learn that ….they will stop b***hin….IF YOU KNEW BETTER, YOU WOULD DO BETTER!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/BakkByPopularDemand/ BakkByPopularDemand

    say word….

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/naej42/ naej42

    Plz–Somebody Stop the World so I can Get Off–Time is Going Too Fast for Me!!!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/kasada/ kasada

    You can date whoever you like however don’t say you no longer will date black women because you keep chasing or attracting those women who do not meet your needs because no matter who you date, you will have the same problem.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/BeautasiaLovely/ BeautasiaLovely

    So not diggin the title of this post..This argument has been discussed too many times… smdh

    |

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/SimplyComplex_87/ SimplyComplex_87

    i read the title, thinking it was in reference to a black man giving up on the sistas. but the article is actually about some silly dyke drama…wtf.

    HB writers: stop creating titles that have little to nothing to do with the actual article! and stop writing articles that are stupid as hell in general!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/CRUSH_/ CRUSH_

    HELLO BEAUTIFUL does it a-damn-gin’!!! I try to support this site but come on!!!  Then we had to read for 40 mins to get to the point of the dumb ass title…My fault…I should have said “I’ve done it again”-reading an article because of th title….my bad….

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/bzebway86/ bzebway86

    likewise there is a diff between boys and men and most females always blinded by the material s**t and his words

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/jduzit/ jduzit

    What a stupid ass article! Dumb Dyke Lesbo s**t! This has nothing to do with REAL MEN!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Paneiro1/ Paneiro1

    The twist at the end was amuzing. this should be a short film atleast. It’s almost like peotry. In relation to the subject at hand, it’s not black women she should cut off, it’s Young American Black women. Black women don’t have some twisted DNA strand that makes them almost impossible to form relationships with, it’s just mostly those raised in Amerca, who have an Inhuman psychology.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/IamFluphi/ IamFluphi

    I guess I am just miffed as to what this incident has to do with the race of these two women. If the writer of the article simply wants to jump the fence, do so. No need to indict an ENTIRE race of women because of this experience. I have yet to date one single decent brother, yet I do not blame all of my brothers. I just pray for better dates. No doubt he will find bi-sexuality in all races and age groups, as this problem is not exclusive to Black Women.

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  • http://www.blackplanet.com/writeontime/ writeontime

    The article’s title was/is misleading.The story was funny.LOL

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/CynamynQueen82/ CynamynQueen82

    LMAO…WTF type of story was this???  I mean….if you don’t want to date black girls or women, by all means don’t! Plenty of us could care less.

  • http://twitter.com/1DayWeWillKnow 1DayWeWillKnow

    LOL @ “You gonna do me wrong with a Redman look-a-like ma’f*cka?!”
    That was pretty harsh…

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Ur-WeaveNmyHeadboard/ Ur-WeaveNmyHeadboard

    i’m rather impressed by the ‘wtf is this bullsht’ comments that people are leaving….

    there actually may be hope for us

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Tired-Of-Sisters/ Tired-Of-Sisters

    Brothers aren’t born fed-up with black women…we learn to become disenchanted by black women by THEIR issues. I would love to find a good woman, but that whole “strong black woman” thing gets old.  We need partners who compliment us, not someone to challenge us. The term is HELP-mate, not “Challenge”-mate!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_O7C4YUYUR6WEJRRZFT2AAV64Z4 Blue Skye

    So…let me get this straight. Correct me if I’m wrong. This woman, whom by he way you described her must be black, was pretty cool with you dated you. Right after settling stuff with her ex-girl, she said “that’s why I’m through with black girls”? If this is all right, then my question would be this: what does it say about being a black woman when even another black woman openly gives them up?

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Anthropological/ Anthropological

    Oh yeah…. because no other women have problems…
    GTFOOH!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/soveu34/ soveu34

    HB once agains failllllllllllllllllllll with a double yuck

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/jazzwatch/ jazzwatch

    GREAT points by you and neva1 betta……..

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/jazzwatch/ jazzwatch

    Name ONE person ALIVE today who IS perfect………………..
    Another FLAME throwing article designed to make each other BASH, redicue and say s**t about how BAD a Black Man/women are……

    Kinda like instead of putting OUT the fire with water in THIS article, they rather use GASOLINE,SMDH…….

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/yellagal99/ yellagal99

    wtf!!!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/d6j8/ d6j8

     The Title was placed without an explantion on purpose . May the advisory it causes multiply and return to the author.Which is more than deserving

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shariese-Hurd/100001852350588 Shariese Hurd

    Some sisters are just as frustrated even more so, but try to hang in their with them.  We are not all the same.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shariese-Hurd/100001852350588 Shariese Hurd

    Maybe if we stop reading these articles and stop reacting to them they would stop putting them down.  Alot of brothers are done with sisters for something that I or other sisters have nothing to do with, but we still hold out stubbornly for a brother.

    It is funny when we see some of the choices they pick that alot of them have them display the stereotypes they dumbing sisters for.  I am not upset about it, but we have this loyality that isn’t returned we could list alot of reasons that we could switch from brothers.  I think we just need to try to find a good man. 

    And also take responsibility for the type of women you are choosing I see good single women black women all the time. 

    Don’t get discouraged their are black men who will always love black women and we have other options as well.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shariese-Hurd/100001852350588 Shariese Hurd

    I agree I just wrote them on feedback and asked why they keep talking about these issues.  Did I miss something, a report maybe and all the problems in black community was solved.  We don’t have Aids, unemployment, education just to name a few to talk about.  Most people on the site some to connect with other black people not to debate the merits of interacial dating.  Who ever keeps writing or selecting the articles date who you want, but you don’t need an justification that black men/women are a certian way.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Anthropological/ Anthropological

    I dont know about you fellas but I stay away from lesbians and bisexuals (confused lesbians) no matter what color…. when a chick tells me she eats p***y…. I run hard and I run fast!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/TEZ405/ TEZ405

    OH THE CONVO THROUGH ME OFF FROM THE TITLE SMH..I FELT LIKE GIVING UP ON BLACK CHICKS TOO !IM JUST SAYING CAUSE U CANT SEEM TO FIND THAT ONE TO SUBMIT

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/roman803/ roman803

    what you know abt reggie noble(whateva mann!!!)

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/majestic1070/ majestic1070

    Your grammar looks like It was written by a little girl.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/bzebway86/ bzebway86

    and apparently u understood wtf she was tryna say so what that say bout u…lmao

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/nana593/ nana593

    WTH it this about?  This story is very misleading!

    Why people feel the need to annouce who they will and won’t date is crazy.

    If you don’t date black women then ok… don’t date em!

    Please spare us this silly anouncement and the details!  

     

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/tshendri/ tshendri

    this article was stupid as hell…… this scenario doesnt even sound realistic..booo!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/neva1bettaTx/ neva1bettaTx

    gtfoh B***H! like bze said..U GOT THE POINT, RIGHT?? besides i’m sure you’re just yet another one of the main SIMP/B***H ASS bastids who are on here, who have to make up a fake profile…just too talk shyt……
    BUT

    YOOOU SEEEEE MEEEEEEEE, HIIIIIIIIIII HATER! move around!

  • http://twitter.com/mcmbrebre Aubrey MC

    @ SimplyComplex_87-I agree.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/A-144K/ A-144K

    Wow!,..then they put a pic of Luara London w/ the op-ed,…lol

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/BakkByPopularDemand/ BakkByPopularDemand

    very well said……

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/BakkByPopularDemand/ BakkByPopularDemand

    Nor real women…..

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/BakkByPopularDemand/ BakkByPopularDemand

    I agree…..

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/ziggidy/ ziggidy

    i am ctfu at some lesbian broad talmbout she dont date black women….

    does anyone else find the irony to be hilarious? or is it just me?

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/soultry-soul/ soultry-soul

    I liked your comeback…

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/soultry-soul/ soultry-soul

    As I get some of what your saying, my questions to you:  Be tired all you like, however do you have to be tired of the entire race of Black Women?  Why are you condemning the entire Sistah-hood for what one hoodrat has done to you?  Are you not aware that hoodrat is a mental disease and is carried in yt’s, asians, dirty-ricans?

    Where are you at…maybe you need to change your surroundings and not your race.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1625319243 Pumpkinn Reid

    Why are their so many comments about black men giving up on black women, the story was about a black woman giving up on black woman. I thought the point was if you don’t like drama, shy, ghetto and etc people then stop dating them and having sex with them. But I could be wrong the article was a little misleading.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/ASKARI/ ASKARI

    Dating – the phase between introduction and commitment…Use this time to get to know the person….If a women (no matter how beautiful) lets me know she participates in lesbian or bisexual affairs, she just disqualified herself from serious consideration….We can be friends but no more…life is too short for confusion….

  • http://twitter.com/1DayWeWillKnow 1DayWeWillKnow

    LOL!!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/jazzwatch/ jazzwatch

    It’s a SHAME that we have to cuss each other out, have TROLLS (phoney ass racists  posing as US to be funny/mock people here)…people LOVE to berate each other to make theirselves look good on these topcis, and like I (Louis Armstrong said in 1970)”If MORE people LOVE each other, it would solve lots more problems”……..

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/jazzwatch/ jazzwatch

    I would NEVER say that… I STILL would LOVEto be with a Black woman,,,,,just don not date/be with the SAME knuckleheads that will PULL YOU down or run a game on ya(same goes for the black ladies, too), IJS…..

    name ONE person of ANY race or ANY sex is so perfect, and yet want to diss others because they lack this or lack that, yet think they’re the s**t and could do NO wrong……..those type I AVOID like the plauge, even if they’re HOTTIES………

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Felisha80/ Felisha80

    The title of this article is incredibly misleading and also pathetic.  Being “through with dating black women” is hardly the major point of this article, and I think the use of a title like this is simply to feed stereptypes and capitalize on the “problematic black women in in the context of romantic relationships” myth that is rampant in North American society.  Very low, and might I add quite stupid also. 

  • Anonymous

    Like the figure and shape.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/bzebway86/ bzebway86

    what?

  • Anonymous

    You brought up material things and his words, and I brought up figure and shape.
    like material things and his words
    Like the figure and shape.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/bzebway86/ bzebway86

    ocay…u made ur point very clear……crystal…there was no way in hell i would be misguided to waht u mean by FIGURE AND SHAPE….it would help next time if u had expounded on that

  • Anonymous

    “Brothers” ? Brothers know what they want in a woman and can handle a strong blk woman. What issues? The ones that the sorry blk boys give them. You know like being single with lil man, paying all the bills, holding the house down like she is the only one who resides their etc? Which one? Only a fool would not want a strong blk woman. If he was a strong blk man, with a strong blk woman, that would mean power. Lol, dang some of yall get stupider by the dozens. What kind of man wants more compliments then a woman. Ain’t no blk woman in search of a gay dude nah. Much love to the gays. You sound spoiled and sorry. Like you met some sistahs who just were to much. Upgrade mentally, then stability wise.

  • Anonymous

    Lots of young blk women are in college. They are not stupid dude.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LVOLKMTLBHTC234MUSBJK5NZMM Veronica

    This fake story was creative but fake no less.  I’m not even sure how the question “what constitutes cheating in an untitled relationship” applies to the story.  However, I’ll answer it anyway:  Cheating occurs when individuals who are in a confirmed or implied monogamous emotional relationship get involved emotionally with other individuals. 

       

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Fletcher-D/ Fletcher-D

    This is not an article about black men. This a lesbian woman writing the article. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MQONDTOOBSRJP4DR6ZIVFYDUGE Susan

    Thank you for this story. Somehow, I can’t see how any of the comments below apply. Being a woman that has dated men and women (and of different races), it’s sad to think that your date could be so shallow. There is always some scorn person that wants to use there ill experiences of picking an incompatible person for them and blaming on something so general like race, skin tone, social-economics, etc. Her dating a black girl or not has nothing to do with the fact that she dated the wrong Black girl and then decided to parade a dude around her as a “I told you what the deal was” gesture. She’s a confused and needs to find herself. And you need not try to get into those goodies. She is not the move. AT ALL!

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Dark_Zero/ Dark_Zero

    I find this interesting, but I know I almost came close to not dating sistahs anymore, but I like my black women, but someone need to teach them about respect and the difference between boys and men.  Sometimes, it’s the woman’s mindset that needs to evolve instead of her A** and Breasts.

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/AwesomeRia/ AwesomeRia

    I LIKE ALL WOMEN LOL AS LONG AS I FIND U ATTRACTIVE AND U GOT SOMETHING GOING ON WITH URSELF.DIDNT READ(GOT THE GIST OF THE STORY BY READING COMMENTS)BUT ANYONE THATS THROUGH WITH DATING A RACE BECAUSE OF A FEW FOOLS IS A FOOL THEMSELVES…THATS ALL :)

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/miss-meth/ miss-meth

    Ok…well, if you are going to base a decision to not date black women from a encounter with a drunkb-sexual in da club, then you so stupid that as a black women, I wouldn’t even want you!

    Fellez, before you complain about black women, it might be best to anaylise the type of black woman you are dating, actually find out something about her i.e. education, job, aspirations etc 9as opposed to just jumping i bed) and where you found the black men in the first place (drunk in the club should have told you something in itself!).  NEWSFLASH: Just having a phat ass doesn’t really mean anything in the scheme of things.

    Quality black women are out there if you look and take time to know them as opposed to demonising them based off drunk, materialistic, designer clothes weaing, no future prospect, club going hoes! (many of which you probably had a child for already).

    Props to all my black men who already know this and are still looking out for us good black women.

    * Overall, this article was wack though, HB- do better that this please!

  • http://www.facebook.com/djseriousbizness Serious Bizness

    My friend you have neither imagination nor game. If this event did in fact take place, it was a prime opportunity to take both them hoes to the OTHER level of the game. You then would’ve  ACTUALLY had a story worth looking at. Instead you let them fight and went home with your nuts arid extra dry. Hence the moral of the story is not that gay black chicks should stick with their own or be honest or even to define your boundaries before you get to the club. The moral of this story is that passive game gets you nowhere; and 2 partially drunk bi sexual women about to argue in the hand of a true player equals lots of video clips to upload to Xtube. ; )

    Thanks for reading

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/marving3902HOTMAILHE/ marving3902HOTMAILHE

    THE PROBLEM IS A LOT OF SISTAS GET ALL THIS EDUCATION TO LIVE A
    CERTAIN TYPE OF LIFE STYLE,AND A LOT OF BROTHAS JUST WANT TO BE DOWN
    TO EARTH.SISTAS MEET US HALFWAY,AND AS FAR AS JAIL.BLACK WOMEN
    RAISE THESE KIDS,AND CHOOSE THE WRONG DUDE TO HAVE THE KID BY.
    I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR A VERY LONG TIME TO A BLACK WOMAN,AND
    IT IS A GIVE,AND TAKE SITUATION.NOW IF YOU AS A SISTA WANT TO GO
    OUT AND OVER ACHIEVE WHEN YOU KNOW THAT A LOT OF BROTHAS ARE
    UNDER ACHIEVERS,AND YOU WONT FIND A LOT OF BOTHAS WITHIN THE
    CORPORATE CIELING,WHY A LOT SISTAS CANT UNDERSTAND THAT A 
    LOT OF BROTHAS ARE NOT INTERESTED IN THOSE TYPE OF ACHIEVEMENTS.
    IT IS OBVIOUS IT DONT  PHASE A LOT OF BROTHAS LIKE IT PHASE A LOT OF
    SISTAS.SO IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR LOVE,TRY TO FINDING A BROTHA
    THAT NEED YOU MORE THAN WANT YOU.MOST BROTHAS THAT HAVE
    A LOT MORE DEGREES,AND MONEY ARE ARROGANT,AND REQUIRE A
    WHOLE LOT MORE FROM YOU AS A SISTA.THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT
    WHEN YOU WANT WHAT SOMEBODY ELSE WANT,AND NOT CURTALING WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU,WE FAIL IN THESE BLACK RELATIONSHIPS

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/The_Rilla/ The_Rilla

    I love my beautiful black goddess and I’m not giving up on them until I can find that 1 that is everything i am looking for. Sometimes the sistahs may get crazy but I have eternal love for them =]

  • http://www.blackplanet.com/Radar-Dreamer/ Radar-Dreamer

    this is why the  traditional god given  arrangements should be strctly adhered to strictly adhered to homosexuality in any form is wrong

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