One of my recent HB posts The One Thing That Separates Women From Girls In Relationships generated a lot of readers responses, thank you beauties! I received quite a few emails and stalked the HB Facebook page looking for comments from readers with what they believe separated women from girls, boy did I get some great responses.
The answer that stuck out from all the others I read was this one:
“A woman knows how to keep her business to herself whereas girls tell everybody everything.” ~ N. Scott
There are several ways to take this statement, blasting your relationship biz all over the streets is probably more of a giggly girl move than a grown ass woman move, however that interpretation is a little too common for me…let’s dig deeper shall we?
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One of the biggest misconceptions about communication in a relationship is that you must tell your partner everything about yourself or day in order to keep it afloat. This belief has caused arguments and many misunderstandings especially where male-female relationships are concerned. Many times women believe that if she can tell a man everything and he “listens” it must means he cares about her.
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard the phrase, “I tell him everything”, followed by, “but I don’t like these games he’s playing” or, “I feel like he’s keeping something from me”.
If you’ve never been around dogs at treat time, I beg you to observe one day. A stranger’s dog will become your best friend if you’ve got treats in your hand, this doesn’t necessarily mean that the dog will be loyal or listen to your commands after they’ve been given the treat. And for the purpose of this article unfortunately the dog is the man and the treats are sex/money etc….sorry men!
The word communication by definition is the exchange of information and thoughts. Communication is NOT one-sided conversation and emotions, it’s a circular flow. If you’re in a relationship where you’re the only one “doing the talking” I have a hard time believing that this is an open honest and healthy relationship.
Don’t get me wrong it’s important for us to share in relationships but what type of things should we share with each other and when? I believe that there should always be an exciting air of mystery in a romantic relationship. I also believe that it’s more important to know how your partner is feeling about you or their day before one ever feels the need to, “tell him everything.”
I’m not saying to keep secrets; I’m not even saying to become mute, I do encourage you to listen harder.
The truth is that in a relationship we are responsible for our partner’s emotional well-being as well as our own and vice versa. As much as women believe they have this supernatural power to hook a man, after he’s “got you” it’s his turn to take the lead. It’s the man who decides who you are in his life and it’s him who decides whether he wants to invest emotionally or not, however it is your choice whether or not to stay. I don’t make the rules to this game, I just play it.
Before you think about handing your partner the study guide to your life, be sure that they want to read it.
What are your thoughts on N.Scott’s answer? How can you tell if someone is emotionally invested in you?
Do you have a hard time telling if someone is emotionally invested in you? If so you may just wanna save a seat in my exclusive online Relationship Vision Workshop that will start up again in mid-August. We deal with topics like commitment phobia, breaking unhealthy relationship patterns, personal needs, forgiveness and setting personal boundaries. The best part is that you can choose to remain anonymous throughout. Email me for more details: firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow on Twitter @goddess_I
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