In his ‘His Side’ column for The Root, writer Jozen Cummings tackles the impact that abortion has on men, a topic often met with skepticism before being summarily dismissed.
MUST READ: ‘My Abortion’: 26 Women Share Their Stories
As previously reported by Hello Beautiful, New York Magazine‘s Meaghan Winter compiled the abortion stories of 26 women, providing an intimate peek into the confusion, fear, loneliness and shame that women often feel in a nation that attempts to legislate our bodies.
In similar fashion, three men share their abortion stories with Cummings, who also touches on his own abortion experience. The results provide a rare look into the minds of men, whom as a collective, often remain silent. One man speaks of the distance he felt from the decision and the procedure; one speaks of his cautious relief; and one speaks of his confusion and pain.
Seldom do we hear about how abortion lingers with men long after the procedure is finished. Which, in truth, is understandable because their rights are not under attack and there is no war on them. They are not vilified for their decisions — or lack thereof. They do not have to lie on an operating table and literally face death. Still, they are often asked to simultaneously be father, bystander and silent partner. At the very least, we can listen to their lived experiences with an open mind — and, in some cases, an open heart.
We can realize that some men become fathers from the moment they learn of the pregnancy, and an abortion does affect them. Maybe not in the same ways, but in ways that are worth examining and, potentially, learning from.
Read why Cummings decided to explore these stories below:
The New York Magazine story mentions a startling statistic: One in three women has an abortion by the age of 45. What the article doesn’t mention is that every single one of them involves a man. I understand that there are many men who are the enemy to abortion rights, enacting legislation that makes it more difficult for women to do what they decide is best for their lives and their bodies. But we can be allies, too, standing beside women and, in some cases, standing up for them and their right to choose. We can listen, and though not understand the pain they feel, emotionally and mentally, we can be in concert with a woman because we know what it feels like to be a part of that decision.
Read more at The Root.
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1. Thanksgiving Television Specials
It's officially the holiday season and every foodie's favorite day is right around the corner: Thanksgiving that is! While we're getting ready to give thanks for a great year, grub with our families, and prep ourselves to dodge all questions from our inquisitive grandparents about our dating lives, let's revisit some of our favorite sitcoms and the Thanksgiving episodes that got us all in the mood for some turkey!
We'll start off with a household 90s favorite, "Moesha". On this episode, Mo and her girls decided to take a road trip to their school's basketball game, but really only wanted to go to be closer to their boyfriends (typical). Although the game was the same week as Thanksgiving, they promised they would be back in time for holiday dinner. That was until their car broke down and they were stranded! Crazy!Watch below.
Without a doubt, "Martin" and his crew kept us laughing during their Thanksgiving episode. Their Holiday dinner turned into a battle of the sexes when Gina and Pam were convinced that their cooking was way better than Martin and his boys'. Of course, the boys were in over their heads when they realized that the ladies could throw down in the kitchen so they resorted to some sneaky tactics to try and win the battle!
4. The Cosby Show
Let's take it back to the '80s with Thanksgiving at the Huxtables' on "The Cosby Show". On this episode, Cliff's oldest daughter, Sondra, came home from college to celebrate the holidays with her family. The whole family was excited to spend time with Sondra, but Sondra had something else on her mind. Sondra wanted to go abroad to Paris and spent the whole weekend trying to convince her family to let her go.
5. The Parkers
Thanksgiving at the Parkers' residence had to be a blast. On this episode, Nikki's sister and niece came to visit her and Kim for the holidays. One would assume that having the family together for Thanksgiving would be exciting, but Nikki's sister and niece were so bossy to her and Kim that it drove the mother/daughter duo crazy! Take a look!
6. The Bernie Mac Show
Uncle Bernie was in for a weird Thanksgiving this year. While his nephew, Jordan, was busy annoying his sisters, Bernie was cooking dinner for the family. Little did he know that Jordan accidentally changed the temperature on the grill while the turkey was cooking leaving a ton of bacteria! After dinner, Bernie didn't feel so well and discovered that the turkey wasn't fully cooked all thanks to Jordan! SMH
7. Living Single
Thanksgiving with the crew on "Living Single" was more like a match maker session. Khadijah invited her friend Stacey over for Thanksgiving dinner and as soon as she met Kyle, the two instantly fell for each other. Once the gang realized that Kyle was head over heels for Stacey who seemed to be more casual about the relationship, they spent the entire episode warning Kyle about Stacey before he got his heart broken.
8. Kenan & Kel
Thanksgiving with "Kenan & Kel" is taking it way back to all of our childhoods! On this episode, Kel was invited to Kenan's house for dinner while Kenan's parents are out visiting a family member. In typical Kel behavior, he accidentally ate the whole turkey by himself leaving the boys to try and desperately replace it before Kenan's parents came back home. In my best Kel voice, "Aw, here it goes!"
9. The Jamie Foxx Show
Jamie's Thanksgiving on "The Jamie Foxx Show" was definitely one to remember. Jamie's old friend and pro-football player, Icepick, was cut by his team on Thanksgiving Day. Not only was he a cut from his team, but he was also coming to terms with the fact that he was homosexual! All of the stress took a toll on Jamie's childhood friend and Icepick threatened to end it all by jumping from a window ledge!
Since Ray and Lisa have broken up, it seemed like their romantic Thanksgiving vacation to Hawaii turned into a family vacation as Lisa invited Ray and Tamara thinking that Ray wouldn't show up anymore. Of course, Ray did show up and invited Ray's ex-girlfriend, Tonya, to accompany him. When they all arrived at the condo, chaos erupted as they were all shocked to see each other, with other mates!
11. "A Different World"
While the gang on "A Different World" was preparing to head home for the holidays, Whitley and Kim decided to stay and go dancing. Meanwhile, Walter, Jalessa, Dwayne and Freddie hit the road home! Oh, the joys of college life at Hillman College! Take a look.