Send your questions to Terrance: firstname.lastname@example.org
Dear Gay Best Friend,
About 7 months ago I ran into an old associate of mine and she was looking very very nice (as she always has). A few years ago I stated to myself that I would never get back into another lesbian relationship due to all the drama I have experienced in the past with the women I have dated. But, this young lady was very persistent and eventually won me over. We spent a few months together just enjoying each other’s company relearning one another, nothing sexual until just recently.
We are both Capricorns so we understand a lot about one another and can pretty much predict how the other will react to certain situations, but we also know exactly how to push each other’s buttons. I’m pretty much the laid back one that just takes things as they come and through time have learned to think before I react. She on the other hand is very explosive and reacts very quickly like she is always on the defense and I don’t understand why. I mean this girl cuts deep, goes for the jugular! The things that come out of her mouth are meant to hurt and she knows just where to hit you each time.
Things between us are great until we have one of these incidents then I start to remember all over again why I left woman alone in the first place. She has a heart of gold and will go out of her way to do ANYTHING for me. I love everything about her except this explosive attitude. Is this gonna be worth the headache? I’m so lost. What should I do? – Tired Of The Drama
Dear Ms. Tired Of The Drama,
Well, I’ll be damn! Did you read the letter before you asked the question? Don’t sit up there and lie to me because I know you didn’t. I’m really beginning to think being slow is the new smart. Honey, you contradicted yourself from the beginning and you won’t take your own advice. In the beginning of your letter you stated that you would never get back into another lesbian relationship due to all the drama you experienced with women in the past, yet, you meet a young woman who is bringing you the drama and you want to know if it’s going to be worth the headache? Hmmmm, uhm boo boo, what do you think?
Chile, you people, I swear. This is why I say sex convolutes people’s minds and they throw their better judgment right out the window. She must be really munching that carpet something severely. I don’t care if she is nice, has a heart of gold, and things are great for the most part, if someone is emotionally, verbally, mentally, and physically abusive then why put up with it? Why let the good outweigh the bad if the drama, stress, and aggravation always makes you second guess why you’re in the relationship in the first place? Oh, yeah, it’s the good sex. It’s that 12-inch strap on she’s banging you with. It’s because they will do ANYTHING for you. Girl, miss me and that yellow bus you’re on speeding through traffic.
What I know for sure is that the universe will always bring you what you don’t want, as well as what you do want. You are creating the experiences you are having and bringing these people in your life. If you don’t want the drama, aggravation, and stress in your life then, WHEN YOU SEE CRAZY COMING, CROSS THE STREET. Stop entertaining all this madness and craziness and you will ultimately begin to attract what you truly desire. But, it all begins with you! Yes, you have to change you! You have to change your conversation and your words.
Ugh! People wear me so thin complaining all the damn time, like you, saying, “I left women alone because of all the drama.” Oh really!?! So, what part did you contribute to those relationships? You can’t always be the victim. At some point you have to look to yourself and ask the question, “Why do I keep attracting these women in my life?” And, “What part am I playing in all of this?” Because, sweetheart, the common denominator in all those relationships is YOU! Do the math, sweetie! You do know what common denominator is, right?
By the way, the zodiac sign has nothing to do with it. LMBAO! You people and your astrological psychic abilities.
Look, Ms. Tired Of The Drama, perhaps you do need to take a hiatus and step back from relationships with women to work on you. Yes, it’s time you do some self-introspection and figure out what you truly desire, and how you truly feel about yourself. I can’t stand people who play the victim all the time and then do what you did, they go to the extreme and do the opposite. Instead of working on them, they cut everyone else off. SMDH! This is what I predict is going to happen with this girl you’re with now. She is going to do or say something so extreme and degrading that you are going to break it off because just like you know, and have put into the universe, her behaviors are in line with what you think and how you feel, “Lesbians are too much drama,” thus, that’s why you are having flashbacks of past ills. Chile, she has shown up just like all the other lesbians you’ve been with, but it’s just dressed up and looks differently. And, as always, you get to be right as you always have been about the lesbians you’ve met and did you wrong, and you get to say, “I knew I was right.” Like I said, the universe will conspire along with you to make sure you’re always right because you are preserving yourself and protecting yourself. That wall you’ve built will stay up because you will always be right! If you don’t want any more drama, then stop inviting it into your life. Stop being a magnet for it. Like only attracts like! Did you know that? Damn, there goes that speeding yellow bus again. Did you see me waving at you? – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
How many of you will do something you said you wouldn’t do, and get into a relationship just because the person was really nice most of the time?
Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, HERE!
Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!
Also On HelloBeautiful:
100 Reasons Why I Can't Stop Looking At Blue Ivy
1. Mommy & Me
2. Blue. #May10 #NYC
3. Blue Ivy & Jay Z Sip Tea
Blue is surely the apple of Daddy's eye.
4. Blue Ivy & Beyonce Smell The Roses
Beyonce seems like the coolest mom.
5. Blue Ivy & Beyonce Soar The Big Skies
6. Blue Ivy & Mommy
7. Daddy & Me
Blue Ivy walks across mommy's at-home photoshoot, but it's the most adorable photobomb ever!
9. One Big Happy Family
The royal family, Bey, Jay & Blue are all out shopping and we're sure they spent our entire life's savings in 30 minutes or less.
10. Beyoncé, Jay Z & Blue in Beverly Hills — Nov. 11
Beyonce in these heels though?!
11. Beyoncé & Blue in NYC — Nov. 4
Look at Blue in her adorable little bow!
12. Beyoncé & Blue spotted in NYC — Nov. 4
Blue holding on to mommy for dear life.
13. Beyoncé & Blue spotted in NYC — Nov. 4
Momma Bey looking fierce with her mini me in tow.
14. Blue dressed as Michael Jackson.
15. Blue & Ivy
Just look at that face. Seriously, Jay could never deny this child! She knows how to make all his mean mugs!
16. Beyoncé, Jay Z & Blue in Beverly Hills — Nov. 11
Look at that cutie!
17. Beyoncé, Jay Z & Blue in Beverly Hills — Nov. 11
OMG Blue in a top knot? Yasss!
Blue has grown up to be an adorable toddler! We're swooning over this photo of her playing on the beach.
Looks like Blue is taking a walk in mom's shoes...literally.
20. Beyoncé & Blue
There's nothing like being cuddled up in mom's arms.
Blue is looking all kinds of adorable! Look at that left hand go! LOL.
22. Blue On The Big Screen
Bey & Jay look at Blue during a video played at an "On The Run" tour stop. How precious!
23. Pardon Blue's Back
She's growing up so fast! We're loving the top knot. Take that Blue Ivy hair critics!
24. Jump Around
Bey & Blue share an adorable moment on the trampoline. Hello summer!
25. Rocking Some Cute Ponytails
Blue Ivy was spotted with a new 'do! Bey & Jay's mini-me was holding on to her father during a little day stroll.
26. Strolling With Mom & Dad
Blue, Jay and Bey all spotted in East Hampton.
27. Blue Has A Manicure Day With Mama Bey
"Me and my Blue, and my Blue Blue, riding🐝"
28. Hanging Out With Mom
Baby Blue is walking to the door, and it looks like Bey is trying to keep up!
29. Trying On Some Heels
Will Blue be slaying a performance in the near future?
30. Holding On To Mom
Blue looks like she has something to say to Bey.
31. Playing A Game Of Tennis
Blue walks on the tennis court.
32. Cuddling With Mom
Blue & Beyonce have some much-needed cuddle time.
33. Blue Ivy
"The blueprint 🐝"
34. Bey & Blue Take A Stroll
Doesn't Blue look adorable with her colorful dress and cute hair ribbon?
35. The Carter Lounge Together
The family was seen out and about.
36. Jay Z Carries Blue While Bey Looks On
Jay carries Blue in his arms.
37. Leading The Way
Blue Ivy looks too cute with her bowler hat and Mama Bey watching from behind. She's really growing up!
38. Out On The Town
Blue Ivy & Momma Bey enjoy some much deserved time off in Spain.
39. Traveling With Mom and Dad
Blue is used to traveling with Mama Bey and Poppa Jay, but she also looked a little flustered at some moments. It's ok, baby Blue!
40. A Day At The Park
Poppa Jay Z lets Blue Ivy have her way with the bouncy horse.
41. It's A Family Affair
Beyonce, Jay and Blue jetsetting in Dublin.
Blue dressed up like a hipster and plays a quick game of peekaboo! How adorable!
43. OMG It's Blue's Beautiful Face!
FINALLY! We get to see how beautiful Blue is! Look at the adorable headband! "Blue 💙"
44. Blue Ivy
Life's a beach!
45. Brooklyn Stand Up!
"Beyonce & Blue"
46. Blue Ivy's Got Her Own iPhone
"Momma, what's your password?"
47. Beyonce's Lazy Day With Blue
"Momma, I asked you for your password!"
48. When Blue Ivy Takes Your Phone, Beyonce Be Like...
"Fine, I'll go ask Daddy!"
49. Blue Ivy On Tour
"Bey & Blue"
50. It's Playtime
Beyonce & Blue take some time out to play.
51. A Chilly Day In NYC
"Beyoncé, Jay Z and Blue Ivy in NYC - Jan. 19"
52. All Bundled Up
The royal family makes their way to their fancy car.
53. Kisses From Dad
Blue's all bundled up, getting love from Daddy.
54. Blue At The White House
Blue Ivy's taking after mommy and writing a letter.
55. Blue Loves Bo
The White House pup, Bo is showing Blue Ivy some love.
56. The Carters At The White House
Check out the royal family checking out the scene at the White House.
57. It's Christmas Time Again
Blue and Bey checking out the White House Christmas tree.
58. Blue Lovin' Bo
Blue Ivy, dressed like a Princess, showing Bo some love.
59. Like Father, Like Daughter
Blue playing dress up with Daddy's hat.
60. Fun Times With Mommy
Blue Ivy spends some QT with mommy.
61. Mommy & Me
Blue and Bey take a break for some snacks.
62. Silvery Blue
Beyonce carries Blue, while the adorable toddler rocks a metallic jacket that we want and need.
63. The Holy Grail
Blue, Bey & Jay
64. One Big Happy Family
"#miami #newyear #2014"
"Beyoncé & Blue 💙"
66. Blue & Daddy In A Blue Jacket
"Jay and Blue 💙 #NewYear #2014 #Miami"
67. Hold On To Me
"Happy New Year Mommy!"
68. Dora Dora Dora The Explorer
"Beyoncé, Blue and Dora the Explorer"
69. Daddy & Bey
"Look over there Blue, you own that too."
70. Blue's Big B-Day
"Mommy make sure they can only see the back of my head."
71. Painted Faces For Blue's Bday
"Let me get down Mommy, I wanna play!"
72. Kisses From Mommy
Beyonce and Blue prepping for Momma Tina's Masquerade Ball
73. Talk To The Hand!
Beyonce, Jay Z and Blue Ivy were spotted leaving Joey's restaurant in Miami, on January 8th, and Blue had a message for the paps! Talk to the hand!
74. Me & My Daddy
While Beyonce's arm rested, Jay carried Blue from Joey's restaurant, in Miami on January 8th.
75. Blue's First Words
"I'm ready to slay right along with you, Ma!"
76. Imagine The Sound Of This Lullaby
A newborn Blue Ivy gets serenaded by her superstar mother.
77. Don't Mess With Blue!
Every now and again, Blue Ivy reminds you...she is her father's child!
78. All Gold Everything
Blue Ivy takes after her dad's swag. The inseparable duo were spotted in South Beach, Miami illuminating the streets outside their hotel with their yellow luster!
79. All Of The Lights!
"Mommy! All the pretty colors are so blinding! I'm...just..so..overwhelmed! When's my shot coming?! When's my shot coming?!" Blue plays on set with Bey at her 'Blow' video shoot.
80. Hey Blue!
"I can be happy sometimes, see?"
81. Blue Ivy With Daddy
"Why are we clapping, again? I'm not in the shot."
82. Jay Z Tries To Get Blue To Listen To "Magna Carta Holy Grail"
"Daddy, I'm more of a Nas fan."
83. Stepping With Mom
"Wait, Ma. I want the camera to see all angles of this sick dress!"
84. Splashin' & Playin'
"Mom, this water is clean, right? Because I'm not trying to splash in water I can't trust."
85. Beyonce Discusses Important Matters
"Mommy, I completely get it. Yes, I promise to watch the throne."
86. Mommy's Hugs
"Ok, Ma. I love you to pieces, but I like oxygen too." Bey may be the Queen, but this scene from her video "Blue" makes it look as if she can't get enough of being Mom.
87. Blue Ivy Twirls
"Aaaahh, I'm having so much fun not thinking about anything...wiippeee...oh, wait...getting a little sick."
88. Just So You Know...
"I run things. Don't get it twisted."
89. Mommy & Me Loungin'
"Oh, Mommy, I'm so tired of seeing the wigs you snatched last night all on our floor. It's so exhausting. Like, when're they getting picked up? Not now? Oh. Ok."
90. A Kiss For Blue
"Mommy, let me sleep, dang!"
91. Slurpin' On That Milk...Slurpin' Slurpin' On That Milk
"Mommy, gimme that bottle!"
We could watch this adorable GIF of Blue Ivy nonstop forever!
93. Jay Sneaks In Kisses
"Dadddd! Get..Away!..I don't want...No, ugh..No kisses!"
94. Blue Stares Back...
"Hey! Who's that?!"
95. Blue Still Doesn't Get Why Anyone's Here
"No, really, who are you? You're getting to close."
96. Blue and Bey Out For Lunch
"I'm over this now. People just won't let us be. Mom, why can't we just be?!"
97. Blue Is One Tough Cookie
"Ma, please let me just kick them in the face. Like, please, I can't see through all these lights."
98. Blue Jetsets With Jay
"Dad, do we own this boat? I just figured we owned everything, so..."
99. Beyonce Keeps Blue Covered
"Mommy, I think you forgot my feet. I'm cold right now. Are we inside?"
100. Beyonce LOVES Her Blue
Look at that face, how could you not kiss it?!