Send your questions to Terrance: firstname.lastname@example.org
Dear Gay Best Friend,
About 7 months ago I ran into an old associate of mine and she was looking very very nice (as she always has). A few years ago I stated to myself that I would never get back into another lesbian relationship due to all the drama I have experienced in the past with the women I have dated. But, this young lady was very persistent and eventually won me over. We spent a few months together just enjoying each other’s company relearning one another, nothing sexual until just recently.
We are both Capricorns so we understand a lot about one another and can pretty much predict how the other will react to certain situations, but we also know exactly how to push each other’s buttons. I’m pretty much the laid back one that just takes things as they come and through time have learned to think before I react. She on the other hand is very explosive and reacts very quickly like she is always on the defense and I don’t understand why. I mean this girl cuts deep, goes for the jugular! The things that come out of her mouth are meant to hurt and she knows just where to hit you each time.
Things between us are great until we have one of these incidents then I start to remember all over again why I left woman alone in the first place. She has a heart of gold and will go out of her way to do ANYTHING for me. I love everything about her except this explosive attitude. Is this gonna be worth the headache? I’m so lost. What should I do? – Tired Of The Drama
Dear Ms. Tired Of The Drama,
Well, I’ll be damn! Did you read the letter before you asked the question? Don’t sit up there and lie to me because I know you didn’t. I’m really beginning to think being slow is the new smart. Honey, you contradicted yourself from the beginning and you won’t take your own advice. In the beginning of your letter you stated that you would never get back into another lesbian relationship due to all the drama you experienced with women in the past, yet, you meet a young woman who is bringing you the drama and you want to know if it’s going to be worth the headache? Hmmmm, uhm boo boo, what do you think?
Chile, you people, I swear. This is why I say sex convolutes people’s minds and they throw their better judgment right out the window. She must be really munching that carpet something severely. I don’t care if she is nice, has a heart of gold, and things are great for the most part, if someone is emotionally, verbally, mentally, and physically abusive then why put up with it? Why let the good outweigh the bad if the drama, stress, and aggravation always makes you second guess why you’re in the relationship in the first place? Oh, yeah, it’s the good sex. It’s that 12-inch strap on she’s banging you with. It’s because they will do ANYTHING for you. Girl, miss me and that yellow bus you’re on speeding through traffic.
What I know for sure is that the universe will always bring you what you don’t want, as well as what you do want. You are creating the experiences you are having and bringing these people in your life. If you don’t want the drama, aggravation, and stress in your life then, WHEN YOU SEE CRAZY COMING, CROSS THE STREET. Stop entertaining all this madness and craziness and you will ultimately begin to attract what you truly desire. But, it all begins with you! Yes, you have to change you! You have to change your conversation and your words.
Ugh! People wear me so thin complaining all the damn time, like you, saying, “I left women alone because of all the drama.” Oh really!?! So, what part did you contribute to those relationships? You can’t always be the victim. At some point you have to look to yourself and ask the question, “Why do I keep attracting these women in my life?” And, “What part am I playing in all of this?” Because, sweetheart, the common denominator in all those relationships is YOU! Do the math, sweetie! You do know what common denominator is, right?
By the way, the zodiac sign has nothing to do with it. LMBAO! You people and your astrological psychic abilities.
Look, Ms. Tired Of The Drama, perhaps you do need to take a hiatus and step back from relationships with women to work on you. Yes, it’s time you do some self-introspection and figure out what you truly desire, and how you truly feel about yourself. I can’t stand people who play the victim all the time and then do what you did, they go to the extreme and do the opposite. Instead of working on them, they cut everyone else off. SMDH! This is what I predict is going to happen with this girl you’re with now. She is going to do or say something so extreme and degrading that you are going to break it off because just like you know, and have put into the universe, her behaviors are in line with what you think and how you feel, “Lesbians are too much drama,” thus, that’s why you are having flashbacks of past ills. Chile, she has shown up just like all the other lesbians you’ve been with, but it’s just dressed up and looks differently. And, as always, you get to be right as you always have been about the lesbians you’ve met and did you wrong, and you get to say, “I knew I was right.” Like I said, the universe will conspire along with you to make sure you’re always right because you are preserving yourself and protecting yourself. That wall you’ve built will stay up because you will always be right! If you don’t want any more drama, then stop inviting it into your life. Stop being a magnet for it. Like only attracts like! Did you know that? Damn, there goes that speeding yellow bus again. Did you see me waving at you? – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
How many of you will do something you said you wouldn’t do, and get into a relationship just because the person was really nice most of the time?
Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, HERE!
Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!
Also On HelloBeautiful:
Celebs Tweet Their Thoughts About #JusticeForSandraBland
1. Jesse Williams
#SandraBland's treatment while attempting to travel freely on HER public roadways has been acknowledged as unlawful. She is already dead.
2. Taraji P. Henson
"SAY HER NAME #SandraBland"
3. Ava DuVernay
"'Why are you arresting me?' Because you know your rights. Because I can. Because no one'll believe you. #SandraBland"
4. Kim Kardashian
#WhatHappenedToSandraBland We need answers!!!! This is NOT ok! This is all shady! They need to own up to this & tell the truth!
5. Jussie Smollet
"A loss 4 words. #SandraBlandMatters #BlackLivesMatter 👈🏿tell me this should change once the nation shows that we do. "
6. Snoop Dogg
🙏🌹. Sandra. Rip. 🌹🌹
7. K. Michelle
R.I.P to this queen. This could've been any of us. My prayers go out to her family. #sandrabland https://instagram.com/p/5fvlO_AhCf/
8. Gabrielle Union
SAY HER NAME!!! #SandraBland #SandraBland #SandraBland #SayHerName
"We must get to the cause of #sandrabland death because this CANNOT happen again #deathorfreedom"
10. David Banner
"When will we fight back. A man's duty on earth is to protect women and children. Where are the gangsters? Preachers? We need you. Please."
11. Nicki Minaj
"Rest In Peace #SandraBland"
12. Talib Kweli
"We the people ask @LorettaLynch to investigate #SandraBland #KimberleeRandleKing RETWEET "
Signs. Signs. Signs all around us. The Message is Here. #SandraBland
14. Missy Elliot
"When I look at the #SandraBland traffic video it brings so many emotions😳😢😡😡😤!"
15. Jessie J
"God bless your soul Sandra | #sandrabland | Change needs to come |Justice needs to be served | Heart… https://instagram.com/p/5fV79mQ0aw/ "
16. Jackee Harry
"It's time y'all, it's time.." #SandraBland #BlackLivesMatter
"In memory of #SandraBland these things don't make no kinda sense "
18. Holly Robinson Peete
I really don't look forward to having ANOTHER difficult conversation w my kids tonight...but here we go again😧💔 #SandraBland #SayHerName 😢
19. Jeffrey White
Sadly, doesn't matter by whose hand she died. Unjustified arrested set the outcome in motion. The state murdered her. #JusticeForSandraBland
Sandra could have been your mother, sister, aunt, friend or if she wasn't killed the community outreach advisor A&M. #SandraBland
21. Joan Smalls
"My heart is broken. Sending my deepest condolence to her family and friends. May you find Strength, Peace and Justice. When will this stop? #EqualityForAll #RIP #Why #SayHerName
22. Gladys Knight
Sandra Bland.... #SayHerName #SandraBland
23. Cara Delevigne
Things need to change NOW #SANDRABLAND #Justice #Equality
24. Meek Mill
"Rip to that young lady that lost her life about a traffic stop! 🙏 ima make sure I pray for her and her family! 🙏😄😄😄"