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It’s been impossible, the last couple of days, to avoid the Derrick Jaxn cheating scandal that get’s more complicated and messy by the moment. Jaxn, a big-backed relationship guru known for delivering marriage-positive advice from the front seat of his car, cheated on his wife, and college sweetheart, Da’Naia Jackson. Go figure. I’m not surprised by his hypocrisy, but apparently the millions of people who follow him are. I digress.

Derrick poured lighter fluid on the flames when he and his wife Da’Naia Jackson addressed the allegations in an awkward video that proved to be even more of a disservice to Da’Naia, who appeared in the clip wearing what looked like a bonnet. Derrick later confirmed, after popular personality Jessie Woo jokingly questioned why he didn’t give his wife time to put on a more appropriate outfit, that it wasn’t a bonnet, it was a hat.

Bonnet or not, Da’Naia’s humdrum appearance in Derrick’s video sparked dialogue about how her appearance and attire is to blame for her husband’s promiscuous ways. Newsflash: the most beautiful and stunningly dressed women in the world (think: Halle Berry, Beyonce, Amber Rose) have all been cheated on.

Obviously there are larger issues at play here. This isn’t the first time Derrick has cheated, according to vlogger Tasha K, who broke the original cheating story. As the story continues to develop, it’s been revealed Derrick actually filmed recent videos outside another woman’s house. Clearly he is the problem.

As women, we often bear the burden of blame for our partner’s infidelities. What did we do? What didn’t we do? Psychology Today listed 13 reasons why men cheat, ranging from “immaturity, insecurity, revenge, impulse, child abuse, unrealistic expectations, selfishness and a list of other factors that don’t include their partner’s appearance.

 

“It’s possible that his primary consideration is for himself and himself alone. He can therefore lie and keep secrets without remorse or regret, as long as it gets him what he wants. It’s possible he never intended to be monogamous. Rather than seeing his vow of monogamy as a sacrifice made to and for his relationship, he views it as something to be avoided and worked around,” wrote Robert Weiss Ph.D., MSW about selfishness being a driver for men to cheat.

Whichever applies to Derrick’s and Da’Naia’s situation, the young mother responded to the bonnet backlash in a religiously laced explanation video that proves, furthermore, the real problem here is deeper than a unkempt do.

“You see a bonnet, I see the helmet of salvation. You see an army green shirt. I see the breastplate of righteousness.”

Both Derrick and Da’Naia formed their marriage on the fundamentals of religion and continue to use it in to justify their strange and inappropriate behavior. But let’s stop pretending Derrick cheated because his wife is basic and hold him accountable for doing the most basic man sh*t ever, cheating.

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