Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta featured the very anticlimactic “fight” between NeNe and Kenya that had been teased since before the season began. Literally nothing really happened outside of the usual shouting match. Anyway, speaking of Kenya, she was being messy again last night when she mentioned over lunch with Cynthia, Porsha, Kandi and Tanya that someone’s man was possibly cheating, but she didn’t say who.
Basically, Kenya and Cynthia went to a cookie shop in the A where the owner told them that she and Tanya’s man, Paul, had exchanged phone numbers. According the the woman, also known as “the cookie lady,” Paul had seen her while out and about and started flirting with her. He came on strong and then he got the digits.
While in Toronto at lunch, Kenya mentioned it in an abstract way. She asked the women generally if they would want to know if their men were cheating and everyone said they would want to know. Kandi and Porsha were nervous at first because they thought Kenya might be referring to them, but then Kandi remembered that she was told about the cookie lady incident. So now we’re in this awkward space where people know some ish about Tanya’s man that she doesn’t know.
Eventually, Kenya zeroed in on Tanya and asked how she would feel if her man cheated or was engaging in shady activity that could lead to cheating, and Tanya said she would be devastated. Tanya said that she and her man are honest with each other, they share everything and that she has all his passcodes. She also added that he only has one phone.
Now, we all know that you really shouldn’t put anything past anyone so Tanya is either really naive or just very hopeful. But either way, it’s understandable that she would be hurt. They didn’t tell her just yet that it’s Paul in question. That’s probably going to happen in next week’s episode, but the thing is, should they tell her at all?
Would you tell your friend if you knew her significant other was cheating?
Kandi made a good point when she said she would hope the person had receipts before stepping to her with that type of information. Some random woman saying that another woman’s man got her info isn’t really proof. Plus, there are other things to factor in. They’re on a popular TV show, so the woman who said what she said about Paul could be trying to get attention.
Also, everyone talks a good game about how they would want to know if their man was being shady, or if there were rumors, at the very least, but then when they find out that this is the case, it’s a different story. Sometimes they stay with the cheater. Sometimes they get upset with the messenger and ditch the friendship, so it’s not an easy position to be in for anyone.
For the sake of RHOA, we know how a lot of the men on this show get down, unfortunately. The likelihood of Tanya’s man being shady is strong but Kenya shouldn’t be the one to tell Tanya directly given her messy history. It could be interpreted as her delivering the message just to be hurtful.
There are a lot of factors that would apply. Who got the information? How did they get the information? How reliable is it and what does the person hope the outcome is by passing that information along? What do people consider to be cheating? If he did get the woman’s number but didn’t act on it, is that still grounds to be upset?
The outcome varies but he safest thing to consider is what your friend want you to do—not what they say they would want you to do but what you know they would really want you to do in that situation. Tanya and Kenya ain’t really friends, which is why Kenya shouldn’t be the messenger, even if she is the one who heard it.
But where do you draw the line between minding your business and being the bone carrier? Is there a difference between the good thing to do vs the right thing to do?