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The Prince's Trust And TK Maxx & Homesense Awards 2020

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Like most women, there are things I wish I could change about my appearance. I haven’t gotten the point of plastic surgery yet, but I often hide my flaws underneath the layered hair, long eyelashes and flawless make-up until those thoughts disappear.

I stumbled upon the hit series, I May Destroy You on HBO and it made me realize, between the main character Arabella Essiedu’s flashbacks and her present life drama, your insecurities may be your downfall. And if you’re not careful, you may take down everyone around you because you refuse to deal with you. Although Arabella’s skin in flawless and her cheekbones immaculate, her captivating smile doesn’t hide the gash on her forehead. It’s a reminder that something once went terribly wrong.

A night meant to relieve the pressures of life turns into a rape that she spends episode after episode attempting to escape. It’s never clear if she really wants to deal with what happens. She merely shows up sporting different hairdos and eclectic fashions blending her presence amongst of her friends only to recall this man’s presence panting in a bathroom stall. If this were twitter eventually, she would possible recap this horror to her followers. But for Arabella she has improvised a family amongst her friends. What is the most interesting is that Arabella refuses to be alone.

She makes sure she is around people at all times in fear of dealing with the trauma that lives behind her scar. It’s indicative to how most of deal with things, we simply don’t. We continue on until something drastic happens like shaving our head bald. It’s how we knew that Britney Spears was had her breaking point and its how Willow made her father see that she was done with being a superstar. My grandmother always said women cut their hair as a sign of rebelling. I always wondered if they did it for attention. The notion of feeling heard and being seen amongst all the noise in our lives. So what do you do, talent like Charlemagne advocates for therapy.

Even staging a session with Dr. Jess for all of us to see in the spirit of removing the stigma in not talking about your problems. I mean even Arabella has a therapist. The jest is that we can’t get anywhere alone and we can’t always just rely on our friends because like you they may not be equipped to deal with it. It doesn’t make them a bad friend; it just makes them real. And couldn’t we all use more of that. More people that were real. More moments that you were real with yourself. Let’s all reclaim our time because face it, we don’t have anything else to do.


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