Listen, it’s no secret that Kanye West we once knew and loved is gone.
It’s also pretty clear that with his “slavery sounded like a choice,” the rapper has taken up permanent residence in the Sunken Place. And if he ever wants to get back in our collective good graces, he needs to do some serious self-reflection.
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He needs to be ready to do the work on his own.
But let Hot 97’s Ebro Darden tell it, if we ever want to see the old Kanye again, a Black woman needs to step in and build this tired brotha back up.
“Is there a Black Woman willing to give Kanye a hug? A hug from a Black Woman can save your life….,” the radio host Tweeted on Wednesday (May 2).
Now, I fully understand that Ebro didn’t mean any harm. Most likely, he was speaking to the magic that is Black women. We are amazing, beautiful, powerful, resourceful and the queens of turning lemons into lemonade.
But we’re also tired.
Tired of having to fix the ills of society, you know the same ones that we are accused of creating. Tired of doing this work and getting very little recognition for it. Most importantly, tired of putting so much emotional labor into Black men like Kanye and getting so little in return.
We are not y’all’s mules. We have our own lives to save.
And folks on Twitter, myself included, let Mr. Darden know that:
Now, before you label us as “bitter” or “mad” that Kanye is married to a white woman that “doesn’t see color” in her home, this isn’t about her. We don’t care about who y’all marry.
This is simply about reciprocity and respect.
The same men expecting us to fix them are the same ones wondering what Emily B. did to provoke Fabolous. Or are the same ones who argue that Bill Cosby and R. Kelly are being “lynched” because white men like Harvey Weinstein can get away with being serial rapists. Or the ones calling Kelis a vindictive gold digger for finally coming forward with her story of alleged abuse by then-husband Nas.
And yes, as Black folks we have a responsibility to each other to hold each other up. We all we got. But stop asking Black women, you know the ones that start social justice movements for y’all, to fall on swords when you can’t even muster up the energy to stand up for us.
And PLEASE don’t ever ask us to hug a man who is gaslighting Black America with his “but what about Black on Black crime” nonsense.
Kanye knows exactly what he’s doing.
He knows that we live in a world where facts don’t matter and incoherent tweeting is the way to reach the masses. He knows that saying slavery was a choice or aligning himself with alt-right folks or calling #45 his “brother,” will rile folks up and center our wandering attention back onto him.
Kanye also makes sure he stays in an insular world surrounded by”yes” people who tolerate the misbelief that he has all the answers. He is wallowing in so much self-hate that he will do anything to garner approval from white America, even if it means cosigning on white supremacy by masking it as “free thought.”
While some will argue this is all just marketing ploy for new music, or he still is grieving the death of his mother, or that he suffers from mental illness (which he and his wife deny), we can all agree that watching a once beloved man morph into this fumbling contrarian has been hard and infuriating to watch.
But be clear: Kanye West is a grown ass man who made a conscious choice to throw his own people under a bus for a damn MAGA hat. That’s on him.
So Ebro, if Kanye needs a hug or a history book, go tell Black men to give him one. But leave us out of this.
We got Beyoncé, we’re good.
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