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CHICK CHAT: You'll Never Guess Where I Found My Boo At 3 A.M.!

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It was one of those snowy and frigid Friday nights when I had absolutely no desire to leave my apartment. And neither did my roommates. So we all decided to crack open a huge bottle of Ciroc I received as a Christmas gift, pretended to be snowed in and got toasty. Two cocktails in, my flavor-of-the-month (aka Korey, everyone’s favorite disappearing boyfriend) texted me, asking me if we could hang out. My inebriated fingers tapped away on my iPhone, and before I could even logically process the answer he deserved (hell no), I was telling him to come over and bring party favors.

Blame it on the alcohol.

Even though my roommates weren’t Korey’s biggest fan, their pending drunkenness made it easier for him to walk through our front door an hour later, ready to party with us. “The gentle giant!” My roomie, Lisa cooed when she opened the the door and spotted Korey’s staggering 6’4″ frame. Korey smiled, revealing those pearly whites against his ebony skin–the color combination alone was enough to make me weak. They hugged.

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I nearly tackled Korey, hugging him like he’d just come back from war. “Y’all already toasted?” Korey laughed, watching my eyes dance around his face. “I brought the favors,” he said pulling out a small bag of Mary Jane. I took his coat, draped it over my arm. A small sandwich bag filled with white capsules hit the floor. I didn’t even notice and almost stepped on it, but Korey put his arm in front of me, “Hold on babe…” He reached down and picked up the packet of pills, “These ain’t for y’all, unless y’all trying to party…?” He tilted his head back and gave us all questioning glances with one eyebrow raised.

My roommate, Lisa scrunched up her face and shook her head, “No thanks, I’m going to bed soon. Party time almost over for me,” she said in a fake island accent.

Korey laughed, “Kim?” he asked my other roommate.

Kim perked up, as she was pre-gaming and had plans to paint Brooklyn red that night. “Uhm, mayyyybe, but I am headed out and don’t want to be the only one who’s…well, on something,” she laughed.

Korey slipped the pills back into the secret pocket in his coat. “I know you don’t do this,” he smiled and patted me on the butt. “Unless…” he trailed off, his eyes glued to my butt as I walked down the hall to hang his coat.

“Not a chance,” I laughed. I’ve never been curious about any other drug outside of marijuana. Everything else scares me, but Korey enjoys being in another state of mind. While I struggled in the past with men who didn’t like that I had vices in the form of drugs, I’ve made a more conscious effort to date someone who puffed, because in my mind, that’s one less argument we’d have to endure.

Shot after shot, the night became fuzzy. Lisa had gone to bed and Kim left shortly after that. It was just me and Korey. He reached out his long, black arms and gently grabbed my belt loop and tugging on it, “Come here.”

I giggled, letting him pull me into his chest and he wrapped one arm around the small of my back and used his other had to push my chin towards his face with his pointer finger. If his lips were pillows, I was diving right into bed. With my eyes rolled to the back of my head, Korey and I kissed. I kissed that man for every time he ever stood me up, every time he we ever argued and for every drug he had in his pocket. And then it was like a movie, clothing was discarded, piece by piece on the way to my bedroom. And of course you know what happens next. So blah blah blah we had sex and fell asleep.

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Last I remember, I was knocked out, wrapped in Korey’s chocolate arms. My door opens, and Lisa walks in and says, “Danielle, can you come and get Korey.” I woke up, confused and still feeling like I was in my dream, but Lisa was standing in my doorway, asking me to get my man. What? I felt the space next to me and Korey wasn’t there. I went into Lisa’s room and he wasn’t there. The hallway closet door was open, I closed it and walked down to the bathroom, where I saw Korey, naked.

“What the f*** Korey? You’re naked! Were you in Lisa’s room naked?”

“What? No. I was looking for the bathroom,” Korey’s eyes weren’t fixed on anything at all. His gaze floated and he breezed past me. Lisa then ran into her room, slamming and locking her door. Korey stumbled by and made it to the end of the hall where my room is.

“Korey, what the hell? Did you go into Lisa’s room? It’s 3 in the f****** morning!” I slammed my door.

“You know I am not like, don’t try to make this into something crazy babe,” he slurred. “I’m twisted. You know that.” Korey sat down on my bed.

“Get up. You’ve got to go,” I grabbed those chocolate arms that I just wish I could be wrapped back in, but there was no way I could have him stay after my roommate found him in her room naked. She was never going to feel comfortable with him at our place ever again. I felt mortified. “You can’t stay. Lisa is scared of you now. You’ve got to put yourself in her shoes, Korey. You’re naked!” I screamed.

90 percent of me wanted Korey to stay, but I just couldn’t let my roommate feel scared in her own home. Kicking Korey out really hurt my feelings because somewhere, deep inside, I honestly believed that he was looking for the bathroom and didn’t even think to put on pants or anything because we were beyond inebriated when we fell asleep.

Korey has since been eager to apologize to Lisa, but she’s not having it. She admits that it was a weird situation, but she didn’t think that he would be capable of doing anything to her. I appreciate Lisa for handling it so graciously. I’m not sure I would have been as calm as she was. To this day, I have no idea what happened that night, or what was going on in Korey’s head. But he hasn’t been back since. Something always manages to bring him back though. We’ll see.

Have you ever had crazy experiences with your significant other and your roommate? Let’s talk!@Rhapsodani


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