I recently returned from doing my first Battle of The Sexes show in Oakland, California. For those who are unfamiliar with the event, Battle of The Sexes is a unique social event that where guests can network and participate in a very lovely and interactive discussion on relationships. We don’t censor a thing honey- Each show features a male and female panel of authors and experts, and well I moderate the discussion and keep folks laughing.
Just a small plug, a very tiny one but we are coming to a city near you this year- Washington DC, New York City, Atlanta, & Los Angeles!
One of the discussion questions from our Oakland show was whether or not men are comfortable with a woman earning more money than they do. Le sigh. Each time I hear this question I want to curl up into a ball and rock back and forth on hardwood floors. It’s real out here in these socio-economic streets. In recent years women have really stepped up to the plate and are knocking out the windows of the glass ceiling effect. We are working harder, longer hours and starting to break bread with our male counterparts.
Amongst us there is this belief that if you show your intellectual a-s-s then you may not be in the running for love. It’s too much to handle…the hustle overshadows his and as a result you end up second in line to the chick with the permanent hole in her wallet and faux eyelashes that look like freshly curled blades of grass.
I believe that to be one of shiniest bald headed lies ever told to women, especially women of color. At the end of the day relationships, love and all that funky stuff is about teamwork. That may sound glee club cheesy with a hint of cornball but I’ve never been so serious about a concept in my entire life. Ask your grandparents, ask anyone who was in the war or any war! There was a time not too long ago where women had to hold it down in a BIG way. She never lost her femininity or felt she was unable to snag a man by her stepping up to the plate, it only enhanced what was already there.
At first glance it may seem as though women with seemingly lower ambition and mediocre goals are getting picked like cotton but I guarantee you that there are also a handful of men out there who are patiently waiting for their wonder woman to arrive, she’s just too busy being a super hero to see them yet. And I’ll keep it real he may not also be ready to receive her, he needs to build on his own too.
She may need to come down to earth for a bit, start to indulge in life and enjoy her success. The very thought of her tired back from a day of working should turn him on to want to release all tension from it. She needs to be open to the idea that there are men who appreciate and are turned on by a woman who is in control of her life career and …heart.
At the end of the day women who are career driven have equal opportunity to sustain a healthy and loving relationship with a man who is supportive and cares, genuinely cares. I know this because I live it. I could not have dragged my butt from Toronto Canada to Oakland, California without the love and support of a few people…my boyfriend being one of them. We clashed so much in the month leading up to the event that I really thought it was the end. I was admittedly an emotional wreck and he was going through his own challenges. It cannot and will not always be peachy. It takes really stepping back from “situations” and external factors to really see your relationship for what it is. Why do you care about each other? What is that glue that holds it together? Are you both in for the win?
It may appear as though women who are successful and highly educated intimidate men, however it’s really that women believe money and accolades somehow has power over love. Nothing is more powerful and healing than giving and receiving love…nothing.
Have you ever been dumped for someone who is not as successful as you career wise?
Do you believe men find it easier to date women who have low ambitions?
Speak on it or tweet me @goddess_I
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