If there is one thing I’ve learned in life it’s that a man or woman with severe trust issues becomes a magnet for malice and disrespect wherever they go. They can acquire large amounts of money, crowd approval and plaques with certifications and accolades but it’s those silent moments alone that really make or break us.
Having trust issues is like carry a backpack full of bricks around daily, with each step the load becomes heavier and not a soul knows until the person attempts to open up. With every new encounter and relationship they stay questioning, accusing and judging, wrapped up in a thick blanket of paranoia. Why wouldn’t they be? If you have been cut down enough or betrayed after years of loyalty, the thought of experiencing that trauma once again is too much to bear. The warmth of the blanket is deceptive, this is not an ideal way to function, as your are emotionally held hostage.
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I remember when a really good guy friend of mine said I had trust issues; I laughed and said, “I don’t think so. I’m just making sure I don’t get hurt.” To be honest I cannot recall the situation that led to this conversation but I’m pretty sure it had something to do with the dude I was seeing at the time. When you have trust issues you spend more time defending as opposed to listening and understanding.
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Here are some changes I had to make in my movements, in order to have more trust in people and today in honor of Women Empowerment Month on Up 4 Discussion- I will happily share 5 of them with you:
1) Direct all accusations inward: When we have severe trust issues it doesn’t take much for the accusation button to be pressed. Once a situation begins to mirror a traumatic one from the past the mind automatically replaces logic with the memory of being in pain, when one goes near a hot flame it’s hard not to remember what it feels like to get burnt. Start to ask yourself these two questions- What about this situation reminds me of the past? Where is the evidence that this will happen again? These questions will usually calm the brain down and force you to welcome back logic into the thought process.
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Dating Event (Toronto)- March, 28, 2013 (Details to be announced this week!)
Battle of The Sexes (Oakland, CA) April 2013
Contact: To inquire about workshops or ask me any burning relationship questions email firstname.lastname@example.org