Email your questions to Your Gay Best Friend at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Dear Gay Best Friend,
Ok, I know you like your stories short, so I’m gonna keep it that way.
I’ve known my stepsister for six years and at one time her and I were BFF’s. Well, about a year ago I slept with her “cuddy buddy” and after a while I came flat out and told her. At first, him and I only had sex once but kept our friendship. Last September she found out she’s pregnant and she thinks it’s his. He and I are now together and he wants nothing to do with her. This is now her baby’s dad, and her and I are back on speaking terms and I don’t want to end it with him, but I still want to be cool with her. What do I do? Between A Rock And A Hard Place
Dear Ms. Between A Rock And A Hard Place,
Clears throat, stands, and rips open the envelope: “And, the award for trifling-hot-mess-ghetto-hood-rat-behavior goes to (drum roll) … wait for it…wait for it.”
I, and nor does my readers, don’t have time for hood and project silliness. I’m not going to answer you directly because I’m going to hurt your feelings, so I’m going to address this letter, but not you per se. Because I know you don’t know any better.
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Who the “F” sleeps with their own family member’s man? What type of woman will sleep with a man who is going between two women in the same family? What bird, yes I said bird, will stoop so low and get into a relationship with a man who is just as trifling to sleep with a family member, and then impregnate her and then says he wants nothing to do with her? Are you that dumb for d**k?
I’m going to drop you off at the corner at Dumb Street and Stupid Boulevard. Don’t worry, a yellow bus is going to pull up. Just get on and put your helmet on, it has your name written on it, “Special.”
Chile, if the saying ain’t never been true, “You can take the chick out the hood, but you can’t take the hood out the chick.” SMDH!
This is why castration, tube tying, and the welfare system needs to have baby limits. And, they need to throw in a few moral clauses – if you are family members, and or related in any fashion, and one or both of you become pregnant by the same man, then you are not eligible to receive benefits. You cannot even think about it, or attempt to fill out the application. You can’t step foot in the social services offices, hell, they will block your number so that you can’t call and get through to ask a dumb ass question.
If the boy, because he’s not a man, impregnates your stepsister and then gets in a relationship with you, and he tells you that he doesn’t want anything to do with her, then guess what that means, silly ass rabbit? It means that he doesn’t care for his own child that he helped to create and bring into this world. It means that he is not going to support his own child, nor will he be a father to the child, thus helping to keep the cycle of an unwed, single parenting woman raising the child alone, who will be arguing with her baby daddy for child support, thus, the child grows up fatherless, bitter, angry, hating the world, and because they have issues of “daddy done left me” syndrome, the child repeats the vicious cycle and either ends up in and out of jail, selling drugs, sexually promiscuous, having more children out of wedlock, and resenting authority figures. WHEW! That was a mouthful.
Look, Ms. Between A Rock And A Hard Place, you want to know what to do? Get out of the relationship with him. Trust and believe what he did to your stepsister, he is going to do it to you! BAM! BOOM! POW! But, you’re young dumb and stuck on d**k. So, you don’t see it and don’t think he will do it to you. Wait until that child is born, all hell is going to break loose. LMBAO! I do hope you will get out while you can, move on with your life, and maintain your relationship with your stepsister. I hope you will get into someone’s school, further your education, move out of the hood, and surround yourself with positive and motivating people who are empowering, inspiring, and uplifting. I hope you find a church home, get some spiritual guidance, and get to know Jesus. Because right now, your idol and god is that man and what’s between his legs. That’s what the dangers of smoking weed and drinking all day every day, and little education will do to you. Don’t you know that your stepsister’s spirit and your man’s spirit are forever linked? Sex unifies spirits. That’s why it’s hard to shake a man, or woman, after sex because your spirits become one during sex. And, whatever baggage and drama he is carrying, and she is carrying, and that when they consummate during sex they exchange and unify energies. So, ultimately, whatever drama and baggage she has, and when they had sex he brought it to you, and when you had sex with him, he dumped it into you. Read a book, read a book, read a “MF’ing” book! Don’t you know that no matter what, they will always be tied together because they have a child together? Girl, in my Tyra Banks voice, “I’m rooting for you! We’re all rooting for you!” I’m done with you, and oh yeah, “And, the award for trifling-hot-mess-ghetto-hood-rat-behavior goes to YOU!” – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
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