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You’ve got questions? He’s got answers!

Email your questions to Your Gay Best Friend at: girlworkonyou@aol.com

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I just read an article and you answered a question if you wanted to know if your male mate was gay. I liked how you answered the lady with the famous athlete question. I would like to know if you can answer mines.

Ok, my son’s father makes me think he has some tendencies of being gay or bi- curious. I was wondering if he is just lost in his sexuality of knowing what he wants. He has dated many women in his life and always maintains or keeps one. But, he cheats with many women and that’s why I’m not with him now.

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But, the reason for me thinking of him being gay is because he likes looking at naked men private parts, but tries to be funny about it. He loves for a woman to play around his anal area during sexual intercourse. He wanted to take my dildo toy home after we had sex. He also makes funny statements sometimes as in, “I love Jay-Z and I will give him oral sex.”

I was just wondering if his dating so many women and always cheating on them is a cover-up to him hiding his homosexuality? I am wondering and wanted to know so I can help him so he won’t keep hurting women, especially if that’s not where his heart truly is. Thank you for your time, but I truly do need your help. – I Think My Son’s Father Is Gay

Dear I Think My Son’s Father Is Gay,

Do you really need for me to answer this question? I mean come on. For real, Ms. Honey?!?!

Your man likes looking at naked men private parts. He loves for a woman to play around his anal area during intercourse and he asked if he could take your dildo toy home after you had sex with him. And, he said he wants to perform orally on rap artist, Jay-Z. Are you living on planet Earth? What rock did you just crawl from under?

Girl, BYE. Good-bye, and miss me!

I don’t care how many women he has had in his life, or sexed, or baby mommas he has running around, and his need to define his masculinity by having sex with throngs of women. HE IS GAY!

I’m sorry but I don’t know of any heterosexual man who will jokingly say he wants to perform oral sex on another man. I don’t know of any heterosexual man who likes, or enjoys looking at other naked men and their private parts. And, I especially don’t know of any heterosexual men who have after sex with their girlfriends will ask if they can borrow their dildo.

What clue are you missing in this unsolved mystery? More importantly, why are you denial? I know, it’s because he is sexing so many women and like most women you think, “Well, he always has a woman, and he is a womanizer, so he can’t be gay. He loves women too much.” Yeah, uhm, most men who are hiding their sexuality are trying to prove something to themselves. No, they are not trying to prove anything to you, but to themselves. Most men who are hiding, closeted, or in denial are womanizers. The more women they have sex with the more they hope they can convince themselves they are straight. Because if they are having sex with women, and still attracted to women then they possibly can’t be gay, right? Wrong. No amount of sex, diving in and out of relationships with women, and having kids will make a gay man straight. IT AIN’T GOING TO HAPPEN!

And, you have a child with this man? The best thing is for you to figure out how you two can maintain a relationship for the sake of your child. If he is a good father, then let him continue being a good father to his son. Don’t let his sexuality be a deterrent for him being a father. Regardless of his sexuality, he is still your son’s father. His sexuality does not make him less than a man, or less than a father. That does not define what a father is. If he is there for your son, helping in the rearing, guidance, and direction of him, and building him into a young man with pride, responsibility, and morals, then he is doing his job.

So, Ms. I Think My Son’s Father Is Gay, you already know the answer to your own question because your instinct is telling you. Your womanly instinct is not wrong, and nor should you dismiss it. And, no, no, no you can’t help him. When he is comfortable in telling you about himself, then the only thing you can do is support him and be there for him. Be there and listen to him. Don’t judge him, or make him wrong. He is not going to stop his behavior until he is ready to stop. So until that happens, then, girl, you can’t help him unless he wants to help himself. Stop trying to save him. Girl, you are not his savior. – Straight, From Your Gay Best Friend

You can follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, HERE!

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click, HERE!



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