It always sounds like such a good idea. A romantic candlelit evening, mood music, perhaps even, a little strip tease–all while wearing the sexiest lingerie money can buy. You’re imagining the night will end in a night full of passion and pleasure, and, of course, a bit gratitude from the lucky man who gets to behold you in your bedroom costume, before it ends up strewn across the floor.
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This is what we call, “The Lingerie Myth”–that ill-informed notion that donning lingerie for your man is a sure fire way to a night full of lusty naughtiness. If only it were that easy! For so many of us, our best efforts are met with ambivalence, disdain, or even (dun dun dun), laughter. For every woman who has ever been humiliated while wearing a garter belt and a corset, here are the HelloBeautiful staff’s worst lingerie horror stories. Enjoy!
The Politics Of A Brazilian Bombshell Fail
I am a lingerie addict. I have an extensive collection of thongs, garters, erotic, romantic and skanky getups hidden at the back of my panty drawer for those “special occasions.” A few years ago I was dating a guy who would rather sit and have a debate about politics, (I’m no Chris Matthews, but I can hold my own), than get busy between the sheets. After countless nights filled with political chatter, I decided to spice things up by wearing this smoking hot Brazilian carnival costume, (headpiece included), that was donated to the company I worked for. I invited said boyfriend to my apartment and when he rang the bell, I carefully sashayed my way down the stairs with my new borrowed sexy getup. I opened the door, expecting him to throw me up against the wall. (I mean my outfit was ALL THAT!) But what did he do? LAUGH!!!
That was definitely not the reaction I was expecting! Talk about a blow to my self-esteem. Once I got it together and went upstairs, I asked him, “Was it the outfit? Too sexy? Headpiece too over the top?”
He replied, “I’m intimidated by how good you look! I feel pressured and overwhelmed by what you expect of me.”
“WHAT???,” I thought, I just wanted to have some fun!
He went on to say that I didn’t need to go the extra mile, he’d rather see me in a wife-beater and boy shorts, and, that women expect sex and romance to be like the movies, and real life does not work that way! Well guess what? I want to role play, dress up and create my own movies, (if you know what I mean)–and I can do it while debating you on healthcare! NEXT!!
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