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My Boyfriend Told Me He Sword Fought and Showered With His Best Friend

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Dear Gay Best Friend,

I have been dating my boyfriend for two years now. When we first met he was dressed really nice and looked really good, almost pretty. As we talked more and got to know each other he told me that he had a lot of friends that were girls. I told him don’t gay guys have a lot of girlfriends, and he did get upset for me saying that. But, he said he just got along better with them.

He does have a small group of male friends which I have meet and all hung out. When he’s with his guy friends they joke around and grab each other, and sometimes they touch places that shouldn’t be touched. He’s freely admitted that he’s touched another man’s penis and seemed proud of it.

He recently ran into an old best friend he had when he was a kid, and now they are glued to the hip. He would rather go hang out with him than see me, or we’d do something and his friend comes along or at least he gets an invite.

My boyfriend has told me that he and this friend have been real close in the past and that they have showered together, and he mentioned they’ve had sword fights with their privates. They also had a 3-some with a girl. All I know is that he seems like he worships the ground he walks on. I don’t know if it’s because they haven’t seen each other in a long time and that he’s making up for it. But, honestly I think he’s gay or bi. And, another thing, he always seems to mention or announce that he’s comfortable with his sexuality. Please let me understand. – Confused

Dear Ms. Confused,

In the infamous words of television personality Wendy Williams, “How you doin’?” LMBAO!

Girl, if you can’t see the writing on the wall, then I can’t help you. Your man is gay! Gay! Gay! Gay!

He’s admitted to you about his preference in so many words and yet, you’re still in this relationship despite your own gut feelings telling you that he is gay! Come on, honey. You’re not that naïve are you? Please, lawd, I hope the retardation gene is not contagious upon reading, touching, or hearing asinine dumb bull-ish like this.

I’m going to help you to the light, Carol Anne, because you are stuck in the Poltergeist. Here are some pretty obvious things that your “boyfriend” has said to you:

1.) He and his friends joke around and grab each other and touch places that shouldn’t be touched. Hmmmm, I don’t know any straight man who would joke around and grab for another man’s package. Men don’t play like that. Can you imagine walking in your neighborhood and you see some grown men joking around grabbing for each other’s packages? What would you think if you saw that?

2.) Your man admitted to you that he’s touched another man’s penis. I ask you, why? Why would he touch another man’s penis? Do you go around touching other women’s vaginas? Let’s say this – If he wasn’t your man, and he was someone you knew in passing and he admitted to touching another man’s penis, what would you think of him? You would think he’s gay, wouldn’t you? You wouldn’t question it or doubt it. You know in your rational mind that any man who admits to touching another man’s penis has either got to be gay or bi-sexual. So, why are you excusing your man for it? I’ll wait while you ponder that.

3.) Your man admitted to you that he has showered with his best friend and they’ve had sword fights with their penis’s (In the gay world that’s called, “grinding”). But, err, uhm, sweetie, as soon as you heard this you should have politely stood up, gathered your things, and walked out the door. There would be no need for further communication, assessment, or explanation. How could he justify this? What could he possible say to you to make you think anything other than he was a flaming homosexual who is using you as some type of guise, or trying to prove his own manhood to lawd knows who?

You can sit over there and be in denial all you want, but your man and his so-called “best friend” are boyfriends. They are in a relationship and you are the odd ball out. I can’t stop laughing because you stated that when you and your boyfriend do something the best friend comes along or gets an invite. Uhm, I think you got the game confused. You are the one who is the third wheel. They are brining you along. LMBAO!

It’s time to call him out, and stop the damn charade. He ain’t fooling nobody, but you! LOL! I find it sad and unfortunate that he is using you and not being honest with you and himself. His behaviors, and his actions are that of a homosexual man, and he may be in denial about it, but that doesn’t negate the fact that he is using you and lying to you about it. I suggest that you sit with him, and in a loving tone you point it all out to him, and let him know that it’s okay to be who he is. He shouldn’t have to hide or be afraid of being his true authentic self. Let him know that his family, and friends who truly love him will always love him regardless. Let him know that he is loved, and that he is one of God’s children. And, if he needs someone to talk to you, and if you’re willing to be a friend, let him know he can come to you anytime. But, remaining in a relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend is not going to resolve his issues, and that you both can move on with your lives because you both deserve to be with someone who loves you both without any lies or games. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

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