In my early twenties I remember being one of the only ladies in my group of friends with a steady boyfriend. I watched and sat listening like a bright eyed kindergarten kid at story time listening to all the drama that went down in the Eye Candy Hall of Fame. We would assign nicknames for the men they were involved with, hell we still assign nicknames, and talk, talk, and before I forget to mention it- talk. We talked about the good times, the bad times and all the while I never anticipated that I would be in the same position as them years later.
It was a slow and rocky transition from “last Saturday me and [his name here] did this” to “This weekend? Oh I just stayed in.” I became somewhat of a serial lover latching on to whoever happened to tickle my fancy neglecting one of the most important aspects of dating, diversifying my life investments. It wasn’t until I became comfortable with longer periods of “me time” that I got the drive to begin really dating.
I typically loathe articles that tell single women that they ain’t sh*t, but let’s be real, there is no God-given reason that any of us beauties need be lonely in 2012- unless that is what we so desire.
Here are my honest, compassionate and judgement-free reasons that your fabulous behind may still be spending way too much time with your couch on Saturday nights…depending on what kind of couch you have?!
- You spend too much time with the same people: The first reason has jack to do with a man. It’s about your social circle. If I kept going to McDonald’s everyday getting the same tired ass #2 combo with a diet cola (yuck), I’d not only get very sick, I would be depriving myself of wonderful home cooked meals and other delectable cuisine. Forget about the end goal for a second, and please go mingle! Try sites like meetup.com and don’t be afraid to attend events you are interested in, alone.
- You Don’t Trust Yourself: You know that burning sensation in your gut, the one that tells you that the cutie from the 4th floor has a few shady secrets he’s hiding? Please trust it and ask more questions. Trusting and nurturing your God-given intuition will do wonders in your dating life. Your intuition helps make us aware when something is not right and will let you know when it’s meant to be.
- You are Constantly Fighting Yourself: If you are clearly in a serial dater’s frame of mind, quit pouting because you don’t have that Bey and Jay relationship your bestie has. Embrace your freedom and allow things to fall into place in its own time. On the other hand if you know instinctively that you are tired of the single life and want to talk a walk down significant other lane for a change, embrace and embody that too.
- You’re Afraid to Break a Nail: Remember the last time your nail broke? Remember how upset you became when you realized that the one nail was now shorter than the rest? How quickly did that feeling last? Probably a couple days, why? Because nails grow back and just like our bodies find ways to repair and replenish so do our hearts. If I had an unbalanced diet and kept biting at that one finger nail, the opposite would probably occur. The more chances you take in your love life, the more you increase your chances for finding that happy medium.
- You Are Far From Interesting: I read a very cool article on the Forbes Website called, “How To Be More Interesting,” and I swear it was one of the best articles I’ve come across in ages (aside from my own). It encourages you to step out of your comfort zone, stop apologizing for all your quirky ways and to cultivate as many “stories” about your life as possible. The more interesting your life is the more interesting people you will attract. This could be new friends, potential employer or new lover.
I don’t believe being single is some sort of ancient curse or a stage in our life that we remain in forever. I believe being single is an opportunity from the higher up that allows us to cultivate a life so rich and full that we have nothing but a wealth of love and knowledge to be passed on to our future families.
My journey in singleland has not completely ended yet *smiles at empty virginal ring finger* and a small part of me does not feel credible writing this article because of that, however I’m living proof that cultivating a life rich of interesting experiences, trusting yourself and learning to live on the edge are all beneficial in attracting a partner who compliments and upgrades your life.
I’m very curious to know what the HB fam thinks!
If you are currently single, can you relate to anything on this list?
Are there things I’m missing? Are there any things you agree or disagree with?
About the Author: Telisha is a freelance writer and the author of the Goddess Intellect blog from Toronto, Canada. Beginning February 2012, she will be offering a special 5-week online workshop “Overcoming Fear of Commitment”. To find out more information and register please connect on twitter @goddess_I or send an email to: firstname.lastname@example.org.