Having your heart broken sucks, having your heart thrown out at sea to navigate through deep and troubled waters on the verge of the end of a relationship also sucks. A breakup can leave one so exasperated that your emotions begin to take precedence over your physical state. I recall being called out on weight loss one winter after a bad break up. It took someone else speaking up for me to even realize that my eating habits were off or that my pants were all incredibly loose around the waist- crying and over-thinking had become priority.
That was a few years ago but the thought of me losing weight on an already tiny frame was when something in me snapped. I hurt my own body and scooped out a large helping of my power unto his plate and for what? At the time you couldn’t tell me anything, and if you did it had to be what I wanted to hear because everything else made it hurt more. I only wanted to hear how miserable he must be feeling and that he will come crawling back, but as the man I want him to be, not who he already revealed himself to be.
Behind almost every man I’ve met who is somewhat cynical or in his words, “realistic” about love is hidden a story of the one who got away or toyed with the speckle of hope that all young bucks have when they venture into the wacky world of relationships. Behind every woman is a series of interesting tales, and always of one who knew what they had, loved what they had but couldn’t hold up their part of the agreement.
I’ve experienced that men are a lot quicker to end a contract that involves any complicated clauses than women. It may be easier to get out of a contract than to be in one they don’t quite understand. Women want to re-read twice, get a second set of eyes and Google their way to the answer. To me this means they will jump ship on a woman who is a ten to shimmy barefoot with a woman is a little more than a 5 (in your eyes) because of the less complicated nature of the relationship. Does this 1 to 10 scale have to do with looks, better sex or any concrete factor? Absolutely not!
To me when a woman is a ten to a man, that means she has looks, they have chemistry together, shared experiences and interests, strong feelings, and a complimenting intelligence level. You can be a ten and still not have what it takes to hold that particular person to their word. To the outside world and even to the person whose heart is broken they see perfection but to the one very important part of the equation- the other half- this may not be the case.
One of the hardest lessons I learned was that chemistry, looks, a healthy sex life and a strong bond does not equal a relationship that is necessarily right for both parties.
I don’t have a solution, I really don’t. But I guarantee that broken hearts do get better and more importantly stronger. I wrote this because I have heard about a few very hurtful stories lately and I just want anyone who is going something to know that although you feel alone- you are not. Accept the end and accept that through your pain something better is in store.
Assuming you have had your heart broken….. How long did it take you to get over it? What things did you do to help support your healing? Do you think that broken hearts are capable of being healed?
About the author: Telisha Ng is a freelance writer and author of the Goddess Intellect blog from Toronto, Canada. Connect with her on Twitter, Facebook or send her an email firstname.lastname@example.org.