I have always believed that the old saying “love means never having to say you’re sorry” is complete and utter s***. That just implies that people can do and say whatever it is they want, because their partner loves them and thus, will have to unquestioningly accept them the way they are.
In my opinion that shouldn’t be the way a relationship works. What happened to compromise? What happened to doing things to help make your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/BFF/GBF happy? I think that apologizing to the people you love when you have made a mistake or hurt them in whatever way, is a sign of a good relationship, because you love them enough about them to care about their feelings.
However, there are some things that, in my opinion, in a relationship you should never have to apologize for…
1. Being successful
Everyone strives to succeed at everything they do (or at least everyone should strive to succeed). So why should you ever feel like you should apologize for doing well? If your man isn’t doing as well as you, doesn’t have as much money, as nice a house, or as good a job, he shouldn’t make you feel badly about you doing well. In fact, he should be happy for you, and he is supposed to support you. It might not be easy watching you do well, when things aren’t perfect in their own life, but anyone who would prefer you to not do as well in life to appease their own ego, frankly, isn’t worth having a relationship with anyway.
2. Saying no
How many times have you read about women in the papers who ended up committing illegal or immoral acts, or even just did something they were uncomfortable with, because they didn’t feel as though they could say no to their husband or boyfriend who asked? Having the right to do, or not do, whatever you like is something everyone is entitled to, and if anyone makes you feel as though you can’t say no to them, they aren’t worth it, and don’t deserve to be in your life anyway.
3. Your friends
They are your friends for a reason, probably because they make you happy and you should never have to compromise your relationship with them for anyone. Too many ladies burn their bridges with their girlfriends during their relationships, because they spent all their time with their men, who either didn’t like their girlfriends friends, or consumed all their time, so that they lost contact with their friends. What sort of a relationship are you ever going to have with someone who doesn’t like or refuses to hang out with, your friends?
4. All the music, food, television and clothes you like
A friend of mine, Tori, left Coachella recently before seeing Kanye, who she had been talking about watching for weeks, simply because her husband can’t stand him. And so she left with him. It might not be cool to be into “Basketball Wives” or “Antiques Roadshow,” eating deep fried pickles while listening to Mariah Carey may disgust him, and everyone else in your life may hate your awesome green platform pumps, but who cares? Do. Not. Apologize. For. It. What you’re into defines who you are and there is nothing worse than someone having to hide who they are to be accepted by someone they love.
5. Having fun
If singing in public, or acting a fool by going on all the kids rides at the carnival makes you happy, then so be it. If it embarrasses your friends or boyfriends then that’s their problem, not yours. If it’s not completely inappropriate, like breaking into song in the middle of church, then who does it hurt? Nobody, that’s who. So therefore, anybody that would make you feel bad about enjoying yourself isn’t worth your time, and there is really no way you should have to apologize for it.
6. Telling the truth
So they would prefer you never told them how you feel? Seriously, that would be better? No. The other person may not like what you have to say, but never having your opinions heard does not make for a healthy relationship. While obviously, it is not always appropriate to say exactly what is on your mind all the time, (like in a business meeting for instance) you should never have to apologize for sharing your true opinion when it’s asked for. If they can’t handle it, they shouldn’t have asked.
While everyone has flaws, and everyone does or says things that drive others mad on occasion, the person you’re with is supposed to love you for who you actually are, not for who ought to be. All of your random, ridiculous traits and issues make you who you are; those that truly love you will anyway, regardless of them and, if they don’t, who cares? It’s your life and you should have the right to live it however you please.