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I’ve never quite understood the lifestyle of the “label whore”:

She who spends all her savings on the latest Louis Vuitton bag only to find that, upon her exit of the mall, every woman walking by and whistling nonchalantly holds the same thing, but in variation.

She who rips the back pockets off her jeans and the tongues off her sneakers and re-sews them with a monogrammed patch of fabric, turning her average style into a customized (but entirely fake and desperate) costume.

She who will, very willingly, pay 10 times the amount worthy of a plain, short-sleeved, cotton T-shirt, simply because it exclaims “GUCCI,” but fits exactly the same as a Hanes – just “eh.”

1.

Designer John Galliano has recognized these women and their childish need of “wanting to belong,” has ignored said psychological issue, and instead decided: bank on it!

With the creation of the Christian Dior Contact Lenses, women can now sell their eye to the devil (dressed in Dior drag) because, now impacted with a sheen of gold and an iconic “CD” logo, your eyes will no longer serve as the windows to your soul, but to that of a fashion house that has no idea who you are. And now, you’ve joined the ranks of Kanye West and Nicki Minaj – all you’ve done is name-check them, and they haven’t “checked” you anything in return, not a cent.

2.

Designer Karl Lagerfeld, forever the narcissist, also jumped on the “brand-a-bobblehead” bandwagon. He sent models upon models down this year’s Paris Spring/Summer runway, each plastered with pieces from his Les Trompe-L’oeil De Chanel Tattoo set. Surely, they were temporary but, unfortunately, his desire to sell them to the masses was not. A fake tattoo doesn’t seem fake at all once it breaks your pocket for $75. And honestly, if you were truly a die-hard fan, you could get the same logo done, for about the same price in a hole-in-the-wall New York parlor. So if you’re gonna do it, really do it, you label whore.

3.

The Louis Vuitton nail designs and decals are a different story entirely. There’s nothing like tap-tap-tapping away at your desk during your graveyard shift at the job that you’ve only acquired to try and make enough money to afford the actual luxury items that are currently being poorly represented on the tips of your nails – the nails that sadly stare back at you as you, ya know, tap-tap-tap. Way to come full circle!

Urban Dictionary describes “brand whore” as:

Someone who buys and prominently displays name brand products (or products that feature large corporate logos) under the belief that such loyalty to a label or corporation is a cachet and brings prestige to their otherwise lack of taste, regardless of the actual quality or value of the products.

Ladies, isn’t there another way to show that you have style, money, and/or both?

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