Rapper Slim Thug’s recent comments regarding Black women and how they expect too much from a man and require a man to do too much for them financially hit blogs yesterday and sent shock waves of annoyance and disappointment through internet savvy Black women all over the country. I think that some Black women agreed with Thug to an extent as far as being willing to give what you expect but are equally disgusted with the constant articles in regards to all the problems a Black woman has. Everything from why Black women can’t get a man to the amount of successful single Black women there are to Black women and our “attitudes” and now this article which in so many words says that Black women should get off their high horse and settle for whatever a Black man decides to give them.
Red alert! That is where I have a problem with Slim Thug. Yes there are some Black women who might have unrealistic expectations or expect more than they are willing to give but that is not a Black woman’s issue. That is an issue with women in general. Women of all races can be unappreciative and self centered. Women of all races can also indulge in scandalous gold digging activities. If Slim was unfortunate enough to date a Black woman with the “me,me,me” attitude then he should have drop kicked her ass to the curb. However, I honestly do not believe that the majority of Black women are naturally selfish and self centered in the manner that he is describing. My biggest gripe with Thug’s opinion is that he somehow thinks that a Black woman who expects to be treated a certain way by her man is asking for too much and that the Black woman should settle for what he decides to give her. Really?
I am exasperated by the media and society’s assertion that a Black woman should be bothered with a nothing ass man and just take whatever he gives and not only be happy but be damn happy just because he is making himself available to her. While White women raise their daughters from birth to aim for the best. Aim for the best man, with the best career, and the best income and who will treat you the best. This first class mentality is expected from a White woman because she is somehow worth this type of treatment. Damn right she better expect the best. She is a cut above the rest. She is not labeled a gold digger, a tramp or told that she is asking for too much for having this mentality. Society as a whole has been mis-educated to believe that a Black woman’s worth is and always will be second class to her White counterpart. For God sakes this reasoning goes as far back as slavery. When White women were saw as precious white pearls that required protection and love while Black women were the hard rocks that were sturdy work horses and could tolerate anything. This is why it is insulting to some people when Black women demand what they feel that they are worth or have high expectations of their man. For some, the idea of a Black woman having expectations at all from her man is self righteous. Truth be told, White women have high expectations as well but they express it in a different way from Black women. If they feel that they are a cut above the rest then they are attacked and bullied into believing that this mentality is haughty. Again, I’m not talking about the selfish, childish, Black woman who does not want to evenly contribute to a relationship with her man. That is for another post. I am talking about the average Black woman who is loving, genuine and loyal to her man and expects to receive what she deserves. Why is it wrong when a Black woman expects the best? To suggest that a Black woman should just take whatever she gets is insulting, tired, and played out. Guess what? A lot of Black women in 2010 have opened their eyes and they are not going to be that easily mentally manipulated any longer.
No other race asks their women to engage in that type of minimalistic mentality expect for the Black community. Why? Is it because of our history? Is it because the Black man and woman have gone through so much emotional , physical and spiritual turmoil together for generations that now Black women are expected to understand his strife and tolerate his foolishness with a smile on their face? “Lord let me just take whatever he gives me cause I do not want to ask for too much from him and upset him.” Black women are expected to accept anything that a man gives them and if they dare ask for more or expect him to give them his best then they somehow are the ones being unappreciative, disloyal, and demanding.
The more insulting part is that Black women are the ones who have been caring, loving and loyal to Black men for years. We have been the ones who were wiping their snotty noses when they are down and patting them on the back, letting them know that not only will things get better but that they are not alone in their hurt. Many Black women to this day resist dating outside of their race in hopes that their chocolate prince charming will come sweep them off their feet while their male counterparts leave them by the wayside and have bought into the mentality that the White pearl is so much better than a dark ugly hard rock. Black women have been by Black men’s side going through some of the same hurt and obstacles as they do. Telling them that despite what the media says, and the role that society has cast them in, that they are truly special. Much more then they themselves sometimes are willing to believe.
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