Black women are probably the most complex, consistently misunderstood women walking this Earth. We are emotional, strong while internally feeling weak. We are loving and overbearing. We are jealous and self destructive. There truly is no clear defining way to describe our internal make-up.
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These same complexities that make us so captivating also can sometimes keep us from being the best women that we can possibly be. It restricts us from giving off the glow that every woman has within. Unfortunately some of these same negative attributes prevents us from loving one another as we should as well. It saddens me to say this but the sisterly love that once was a part of our culture does not seem to be holding as strong today as it once did.
I can recall a time ago when sistah’s could remain friends for a lifetime. Sure there would be the traditional arguing and disagreements. You could even dish out some tough love to one another sometimes when needed. However there was not nearly as much cattiness as there is today among my sistah’s. Now I know what some of you are thinking. All women are like this. Why am I focusing on Black women? Well, the truth is that I am a Black woman, so I connect the most with other Black women and their experiences in most cases. This does not mean that I do not care about the growth of women of all races. Black women and the experiences, heartaches, trials, blessings that we go through will always be the closest to my heart. For instance just as I feel a strong sense of pride when I see a Black woman with her life in order and headed toward success, I feel a strong sadness when I see a sista in turmoil, filled with self hatred and confusion. It bothers me and I sincerely want to reach out to her. Not to tell her how she should run her life but just to explain to her that there are other alternatives. Because not everyone is aware of that there are alternatives to whatever self destructive behavior they indulge in.
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Sadly, I am coming to the conclusion that not every sista feels that same sense of empathy towards another sistah. We laugh at each other’s short comings, and allow jealousy to rule us to the point that we hope to see the failure of another sistah. I am not the only one who either knows someone with this mentality or possesses it themselves. Don’t be ashamed. Now is the time to take a strong, long look at self.
I’m not trying to tell anyone what to do. Please don’t misinterpret my concern for some dogmatic tangent. I’m just saying the next time you see the sistah at your job who you usually exchange mean mugs with daily, give her a smile. Or the next time you see a sistah acting out at a night club, allowing 3 or 4 guys spin her like she is a bottle, instead of laughing at her or calling her all types of hoes, or stupid, pull her to the side. Not to berate her, because that is not your place either but simply to put a bug in her ear. She truly might not see herself.
I am also not implying that you should go around telling other sistahs how to lead their lives, or be the bearer of every sistah’s burden, or even feel responsible to always assist another sistah every day of your life. No, no, that would be a burden that I would not place on anyone. I am stating that the time we spend, ( I am saying we because I too have been guilty of these acts and need to reflect) battling each other over some men’s attention, or affection, finding flaws in one another, finding ways to bring each other down mentally, physically, emotionally, we could be lifting each other’s spirits and praising each other. Of course everyone can use criticism, but it is deeper than that with us.
We are members of a race of people who for years have been abused in every way possible, made to feel less than, and treated worse than animals by other races who felt that they were superior. Isn’t it finally time to relinquish the negative strong holds that we inherited from our oppressors and stop using these same tactics that they used on us to keep us at a low mind state on each other? Marinate on that.
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