Created by Diane Brown, Buena Beach is an online soap opera, giving up all the juicy details of some of the hottest guys and gals of Buena Beach, a small town in Southern California. Check back everyday for a new episode here on HelloBeautiful.com.
Alice
I need a vacation. Or at least some kind of scaled back schedule. Something’s gotta give. Something’s gonna give, soon. My sanity. My hair. My waistline. This frenetic pace worked for a while, but my body seems to be weaning me off the adrenaline that powered me over the first six months of the café’s opening.
Now that we’ve been around this long, the cracks in our beautiful façade of a business are starting to show. Our coffee is somewhat bitter, and more expensive than anticipated. Our historic building has foundation problems and is home to an abnormally aggressive family of opossums. Christian is not as brilliant a businessman as he made himself out to be, and he definitely isn’t putting in as much time as he used to. I had to fire one of our staff for stealing biscotti. And that annoying bell Christian put up over the front door sounds like it needs a tune-up, causing customers to cringe with every set of dings.
The only bright spot these days surrounds Jen and her brilliant cupcakes. They’ve been the biggest draw lately, with orders coming in left and right. The last week alone, she’s had to come in three times at 5:00 a.m. to get baking. Luckily, Chris was willing to come in too and open for her, poor guy. I gotta give it to him – he’s done a great job helping her out. Anyway, speaking of cupcakes, I think I’m gonna go sneak a red velvet one myself; those things are addictive.
But just as I pull one out, there goes that damn bell. Well, at least it means we have a customer. “Good afternoon. How can I help you?”
“Umm, do you have anything that’s considered, like, an aphrodisiac?” asks the young woman taking in the mountains of pastries, breads, and confections.
“Like, sexy food. What would you say is sexy in this case?”
Sexy, huh? I never thought about that. It’s kind of an odd request – perhaps she has a fetish of some sort?
“What ingredients might stimulate a man’s libido?”
Shoot, like I would know. “Girl, you’re asking the wrong person,” I say, momentarily exchanging my professional front for something more comfy and colloquial. I’m about to return to professional, but the woman smiles and appears to relax a bit. She sighs.
“I know. I’m sorry. I just…I don’t know. When you’re stuck at home all day, all alone with no one to talk to, you get ideas. I was trying to come up with a new way to seduce my husband.”
Okay, well then she’s definitely asking the wrong chick. My experience with men is limited to commitment-phobic chain smokers who need very little, if any, sort of seduction. “Have you tried a 6-pack of Corona?”
“Heck yah. Corona. Imported Italian wines. Yegger. Even shots of Patron off my chest. Nothing’s working these days.”
Wow. This woman – beautiful, sweet, and daring – is having trouble in the bedroom? “Maybe he’s gay,” I try, taking a big risk at offending a customer with my forwardness.
But she’s unfazed. “No. That crossed my mind a couple of times, but I’m pretty sure he’s not.”
Well, if she was cool with me going there, then I’ll take it somewhere else. “Maybe he’s cheating?”
She sighs again, and drums her fingers on the glass case. “Yeah. That’s what I’m afraid of.”
Wonderful, Alice. Look at her now – defeated. No longer upbeat and optimistic, you’ve crushed her with your insight. Shame on you.
Okay, I can clean this up. “Or, maybe not. I mean…it could be anything. Maybe he just needs Viagra or something.”
She shrugs, backing off the case. Great. Not only did I confirm her suspicions, but perhaps I’m about to lose a sale too. “Wait a second, wait a second. You said something about being home all day, alone…”
“Yah. I’m a stay-at-home mom-to-be.”
“Oh. So you’re pregnant?”
She sighs again, smirking. “No. Not yet, at least. Not that I know of. One of these days.”
“And, you two live here in the city?”
She nods.
“Well, don’t take this the wrong way, but if you can afford to live here, in Buena Beach, on one income then I imagine that your husband pulls in a good salary.”
“He does okay. Actually, my parents bought us the house.”
Must be nice. “Okay. But still. He probably works really hard, trying to take care of you financially. Maybe his…lack of interest or desire lately is just a result of him working so much.”
She thinks about this. “Possibly.”
“And, the fact that you’re home all day, alone, doesn’t help. You must get so bored. I bet your mind just races with all kinds of thoughts.”
“That’s true.”
Hey. I’ve got it. This girl looks pretty normal. She’s obviously not hurting money-wise, so she probably won’t feel the need to gank me for 2 pounds of biscotti. “You know, we have a part-time opening here. It’s kind of a minimum wage thing, but if you’d be interested in working a few hours on weekdays at about this time, who knows?…it might keep you busy. Keep your mind occupied. And that way, you get off work, and it’s your husband who’s home waiting for you; trying to figure out a way to seduce you.”
Wow. That was pretty good. Maybe I should have been a lawyer or a salesperson. And look at her – I see the intrigue on her face. I can feel it…I know she’s about to say…
“I’ll do it.”
“Awesome. Oh, I’m Alice by the way.”
“Cynthia. Great to meet you.”
Wait ‘til I tell Chris. He doesn’t even know that I fired ol’ girl yet. That news won’t be so bad anymore since I now have a replacement. “When can you start?”
“I can start tomorrow.”
“Perfect. I’ll see you around 3:45?” I’ll have to make up an excuse to leave school early.
“It’s a date!” she says, smiling again.
“Oh, and wait a second,” I say before turning to find the cupcake I’d pulled aside earlier, wrapping it and a second one in one of our signature boxes with a bright pink bow affixed on top. “Here’s some of our famous red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. Believe me, there ain’t nothing sexier that I can think of than these cakes. On the house.”
“Thanks, Alice. I’ll let you know how it goes,” she says with a wink before heading off.
The bell rings again as she exits, and I decide that’s the last time I’m gonna let that thing ring. I’m going to take it down right now and take it in to be repaired this weekend. Or maybe I’ll replace it with a new kind of chime altogether.
Something sexy.
