Two weeks before New Years Eve, my home girl Kimberly sent me a text about the house party she was throwing.
“Make sure you bring a bottle and bring yo a$%, Shenequa! I know how you are,” she joked.
I promised her I would show up, even telling her about the gorgeous outfit I was going to wear, but at the same time I secretly I wished Sprint would cut my phone off like I hadn’t paid the bill so that couldn’t get the text to begin with.
You see, it’s no slight against Kim, it’s just I’m 27-years-old and I would much rather stay at home and watch reruns of “The Golden Girls” than go out to a party.
Welcome to the world of the party pooper.
I think I was 17 when I realized I was an old fart. It was my best friend, Sheena’s 18th birthday and our moms finally let us stay out late. Like most Janes who swore they were grown, we went to Times Square and ate at Red Lobster because we considered it fine dining.
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After rounds of heart-clogging Cheddar Bay Biscuits and oily shrimp scampi, we decided to go to the movies and see Brown Sugar. By 10 p.m., I let out my first yawn, and after dinner, I was barely keeping up.
“Shenequa, why do you look like you’re about to pass out? The night is young and so are we!” Sheena said.
“It’s getting late and I’m tired. I think I’ll head home,” I yawned.
You would’ve thought I told my girls I was voting Republican the way they looked at me. I was the recipient of neck rolls, a hair flip and I think Sheena was the first woman on record to give a side eye. The very first!
The next day in school I heard all about the cute Johns they met and how great the movie was.
“You should’ve stayed,” Sheena said.
“I know. I know,” I said.
Don’t get me wrong, I do go out occasionally and there’s photo albums on Facebook of me straddling stripper poles in drunken debauchery (judge me if you want)…Or the time I kissed some fat Italian guy in a club who said I had great legs (continue the judgment); so yes, I have had my own Hangover-esque moments. But those are so few and far between.
It’s always a struggle for me to want to go out, which is insane because at 27, that should be at the bottom of my totem pole of problems. I should look at going out as someone offering me a Trader Joe’s gift card. In my head, it should be an automatic go.
Society says if I’m going to have wild, reckless fun that leaves me with a pounding headache the next morning or my account in the negative, I should do it now! I’ve got three more years to f*%$ it up, yet I’d rather stay at home with a cup of green tea, reading the newest James Patterson novel.
I worry sometimes. Am I going to wake up at 42 and wish I did more? Later on in life, will I think I’ve missed out? Am I going to be the old aunt in the club still trying to see if I “still got it?”
A part of me wants to have stories to tell of crazy nights with Sheena and the rest of my dames. I want to look back on photos and say “We almost got arrested this night, remember? ” or “Shenequa, you drank so much. How are you even alive?” But the grandma in me (let’s call her Beatrice) waves her wrinkled hand and always wins the stay-home battle.
I guess my beef is a lack of balance. I sit on my couch so much, I feel like Beatrice is making me miss out on some really dope moments, but then again I don’t I have a strong desire to keep up with the Joneses all the time either. I can barely keep up with whatever season of The Kardashians is on now.
You know what? That’s it! I’m going to go out more and smell the roses, I’ll just make sure I’m back home by 8:00. Let’s not get too wild here!
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Beyonce seems like the coolest mom.
5. Blue Ivy & Beyonce Soar The Big Skies
6. Blue Ivy & Mommy
7. Daddy & Me
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9. One Big Happy Family
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10. Beyoncé, Jay Z & Blue in Beverly Hills — Nov. 11
Beyonce in these heels though?!
11. Beyoncé & Blue in NYC — Nov. 4
Look at Blue in her adorable little bow!
12. Beyoncé & Blue spotted in NYC — Nov. 4
Blue holding on to mommy for dear life.
13. Beyoncé & Blue spotted in NYC — Nov. 4
Momma Bey looking fierce with her mini me in tow.
14. Blue dressed as Michael Jackson.
15. Blue & Ivy
Just look at that face. Seriously, Jay could never deny this child! She knows how to make all his mean mugs!
16. Beyoncé, Jay Z & Blue in Beverly Hills — Nov. 11
Look at that cutie!
17. Beyoncé, Jay Z & Blue in Beverly Hills — Nov. 11
OMG Blue in a top knot? Yasss!
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20. Beyoncé & Blue
There's nothing like being cuddled up in mom's arms.
Blue is looking all kinds of adorable! Look at that left hand go! LOL.
22. Blue On The Big Screen
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23. Pardon Blue's Back
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24. Jump Around
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25. Rocking Some Cute Ponytails
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26. Strolling With Mom & Dad
Blue, Jay and Bey all spotted in East Hampton.
27. Blue Has A Manicure Day With Mama Bey
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28. Hanging Out With Mom
Baby Blue is walking to the door, and it looks like Bey is trying to keep up!
29. Trying On Some Heels
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30. Holding On To Mom
Blue looks like she has something to say to Bey.
31. Playing A Game Of Tennis
Blue walks on the tennis court.
32. Cuddling With Mom
Blue & Beyonce have some much-needed cuddle time.
33. Blue Ivy
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34. Bey & Blue Take A Stroll
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The family was seen out and about.
36. Jay Z Carries Blue While Bey Looks On
Jay carries Blue in his arms.
37. Leading The Way
Blue Ivy looks too cute with her bowler hat and Mama Bey watching from behind. She's really growing up!
38. Out On The Town
Blue Ivy & Momma Bey enjoy some much deserved time off in Spain.
39. Traveling With Mom and Dad
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40. A Day At The Park
Poppa Jay Z lets Blue Ivy have her way with the bouncy horse.
41. It's A Family Affair
Beyonce, Jay and Blue jetsetting in Dublin.
Blue dressed up like a hipster and plays a quick game of peekaboo! How adorable!
43. OMG It's Blue's Beautiful Face!
FINALLY! We get to see how beautiful Blue is! Look at the adorable headband! "Blue 💙"
44. Blue Ivy
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45. Brooklyn Stand Up!
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46. Blue Ivy's Got Her Own iPhone
"Momma, what's your password?"
47. Beyonce's Lazy Day With Blue
"Momma, I asked you for your password!"
48. When Blue Ivy Takes Your Phone, Beyonce Be Like...
"Fine, I'll go ask Daddy!"
49. Blue Ivy On Tour
"Bey & Blue"
50. It's Playtime
Beyonce & Blue take some time out to play.
51. A Chilly Day In NYC
"Beyoncé, Jay Z and Blue Ivy in NYC - Jan. 19"
52. All Bundled Up
The royal family makes their way to their fancy car.
53. Kisses From Dad
Blue's all bundled up, getting love from Daddy.
54. Blue At The White House
Blue Ivy's taking after mommy and writing a letter.
55. Blue Loves Bo
The White House pup, Bo is showing Blue Ivy some love.
56. The Carters At The White House
Check out the royal family checking out the scene at the White House.
57. It's Christmas Time Again
Blue and Bey checking out the White House Christmas tree.
58. Blue Lovin' Bo
Blue Ivy, dressed like a Princess, showing Bo some love.
59. Like Father, Like Daughter
Blue playing dress up with Daddy's hat.
60. Fun Times With Mommy
Blue Ivy spends some QT with mommy.
61. Mommy & Me
Blue and Bey take a break for some snacks.
62. Silvery Blue
Beyonce carries Blue, while the adorable toddler rocks a metallic jacket that we want and need.
63. The Holy Grail
Blue, Bey & Jay
64. One Big Happy Family
"#miami #newyear #2014"
"Beyoncé & Blue 💙"
66. Blue & Daddy In A Blue Jacket
"Jay and Blue 💙 #NewYear #2014 #Miami"
67. Hold On To Me
"Happy New Year Mommy!"
68. Dora Dora Dora The Explorer
"Beyoncé, Blue and Dora the Explorer"
69. Daddy & Bey
"Look over there Blue, you own that too."
70. Blue's Big B-Day
"Mommy make sure they can only see the back of my head."
71. Painted Faces For Blue's Bday
"Let me get down Mommy, I wanna play!"
72. Kisses From Mommy
Beyonce and Blue prepping for Momma Tina's Masquerade Ball
73. Talk To The Hand!
Beyonce, Jay Z and Blue Ivy were spotted leaving Joey's restaurant in Miami, on January 8th, and Blue had a message for the paps! Talk to the hand!
74. Me & My Daddy
While Beyonce's arm rested, Jay carried Blue from Joey's restaurant, in Miami on January 8th.
75. Blue's First Words
"I'm ready to slay right along with you, Ma!"
76. Imagine The Sound Of This Lullaby
A newborn Blue Ivy gets serenaded by her superstar mother.
77. Don't Mess With Blue!
Every now and again, Blue Ivy reminds you...she is her father's child!
78. All Gold Everything
Blue Ivy takes after her dad's swag. The inseparable duo were spotted in South Beach, Miami illuminating the streets outside their hotel with their yellow luster!
79. All Of The Lights!
"Mommy! All the pretty colors are so blinding! I'm...just..so..overwhelmed! When's my shot coming?! When's my shot coming?!" Blue plays on set with Bey at her 'Blow' video shoot.
80. Hey Blue!
"I can be happy sometimes, see?"
81. Blue Ivy With Daddy
"Why are we clapping, again? I'm not in the shot."
82. Jay Z Tries To Get Blue To Listen To "Magna Carta Holy Grail"
"Daddy, I'm more of a Nas fan."
83. Stepping With Mom
"Wait, Ma. I want the camera to see all angles of this sick dress!"
84. Splashin' & Playin'
"Mom, this water is clean, right? Because I'm not trying to splash in water I can't trust."
85. Beyonce Discusses Important Matters
"Mommy, I completely get it. Yes, I promise to watch the throne."
86. Mommy's Hugs
"Ok, Ma. I love you to pieces, but I like oxygen too." Bey may be the Queen, but this scene from her video "Blue" makes it look as if she can't get enough of being Mom.
87. Blue Ivy Twirls
"Aaaahh, I'm having so much fun not thinking about anything...wiippeee...oh, wait...getting a little sick."
88. Just So You Know...
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89. Mommy & Me Loungin'
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90. A Kiss For Blue
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91. Slurpin' On That Milk...Slurpin' Slurpin' On That Milk
"Mommy, gimme that bottle!"
We could watch this adorable GIF of Blue Ivy nonstop forever!
93. Jay Sneaks In Kisses
"Dadddd! Get..Away!..I don't want...No, ugh..No kisses!"
94. Blue Stares Back...
"Hey! Who's that?!"
95. Blue Still Doesn't Get Why Anyone's Here
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96. Blue and Bey Out For Lunch
"I'm over this now. People just won't let us be. Mom, why can't we just be?!"
97. Blue Is One Tough Cookie
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98. Blue Jetsets With Jay
"Dad, do we own this boat? I just figured we owned everything, so..."
99. Beyonce Keeps Blue Covered
"Mommy, I think you forgot my feet. I'm cold right now. Are we inside?"
100. Beyonce LOVES Her Blue
Look at that face, how could you not kiss it?!