“I Met Him Online, Gave Him My Number, But He Hasn’t Given Me His & He Wants Me To Visit Him”

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black woman on computerDear Gay Best Friend,

I have been on this dating/flirt website for about two years now. I get on there every so often and whenever I’m bored. That’s it. But, one day I got on there and was browsing through the different guys pictures and profiles and I came across this one sexy guy’s pictures and profile. I just had to get to know more about him because he was just that sexy to me.

We started sending each other messages back and forth and he told me some things about him, and I told him some basic things about me. I didn’t take him serious at first. It was just flirting, but then as we started sending each other more messages I was very eager to talk to him off of the site. So, I suggested we should exchange numbers. I sent him my number to let him know I am definitely interested in him and that I want to get to know more about him. His response was like, “I got you mami.” I asked why you can’t send me your number and he never actually gave me a direct response or an answer. So, I left it alone and didn’t even think nothing of it, and we just kept sending messages back and forth.

So, a year passed and we were still sending each other messages. At this point I’m still not really taking with him too serious. This year makes it two years and we still are sending each other messages. Long story short, we started talking about him wanting me to come see him and how he wants to see me in person, and I was like I would love to come see him and all but he hasn’t even given me his number yet, and never gave me a direct answer on why he couldn’t send me his number. So, I said to him that I want to be able to hear his voice instead of us keep sending each other messages because now I’m really interested in him even more. So, I sent him my number for the second time and then I was waiting for him to send me his number, but, yet again his response was once again, “I got you mami.”

At this point my female intuition is in full force and I’m thinking the obvious, either he has a woman and they stay together, or he’s married. At this point that’s a red flag to me and he is not being real with me and not being honest with me, which I didn’t want to think the obvious of those options. Moral of the story is that I really want to go and visit him me and a few friends this summer, but the main issue/problem remains is that I do not have his number. I’ve told him that I’m not coming unless he produces/sends me his number, and he was like he was going to give me his number when I get ready to come.

Should I hold him to his word on that? I just want to be able to give him the benefit of the doubt and not assume the obvious. If I decide not to go, then I feel that I won’t get to at least find out in person if I can get my questions answered honestly. What is your honest opinion/advice on this issue/problem? Should I just leave the situation alone and delete my profile? What are the exact questions I should be asking him? – Undecided and Confused

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Dear Ms. Undecided and Confused,

Hold up, let me grab my big bag of cheddar cheese popcorn and turn on the television. I want to be ready when the breaking news graphics comes across my television for the upcoming news….One moment…..One moment….One moment….Okay, I’m ready.

Yes, please go. Please go and see who this mysterious man is. The man you’ve been communicating with via email for two years, whom you’ve never seen, nor heard his voice, and the same man whom you given your phone number to, yet, he has never produced his phone number for you. Yes, run your happy d**k thirsty ass to wherever he tells you to come, and get in his car, and go to his home, alone. And, if he offers you something to drink, and he leaves you alone in his living room while he goes into the kitchen and comes back with a glass of something to drink, I want you to gulp it down. Drink every got damn drop of it!

I can’t believe you actually wrote me this damn letter. You had the gall and audacity to sit up here and ask this ole’ basic ass question about some damn man you met on a dating/flirt website. Were you enrolled in special needs classes? Why am I asking that question, of course you were.

Let me get this straight: Some man, who could have Googled and pulled any picture from off the internet and used it as his profile, and created this whole persona, and one day as you were perusing through the profiles you happened upon his and had to get to know him because he was “sexy.” So, was your brain actually working, or was your p***y speaking for you?

You hit this man up, start communicating with him, which leads to flirting, and your thirsty ass decides to make the first move and send him your number. (For the record, a lady or woman doesn’t and shouldn’t make the first move on a man via a dating/flirting website. That indicates how thirsty, hungry, and eager you are for some companionship and d**k). Moving on, you send him your number, and when he doesn’t send you his, you keep communicating with him, because, let me guess, you love the mystery and thrill of this anonymous man who has captured your heart, and speaking the love language you’ve been longing to hear for a while now.

Let me ask you this: The first time, after you approached him, made the first move, and he didn’t reciprocate, how did that make you feel? Did you feel rejected? Were you upset? Confused? Bothered? Bewildered? Process those emotions and get back to me after you’ve made an assessment of your basic retarded thirsty self.

Then, you keep communicating with him, and again you send him your number, and he doesn’t reciprocate, you become suspicious and think he may have a wife or live with his girl, but he invites you to come visit him, and you are strongly considering it? (Ladies, this is what someone who is desperate, and lonely sounds like). But, he still hasn’t given you his number, and he tells you that he will only give you his number once he knows that you are coming for certain. (Nods my head and cocks my arm behind me). Sooooo, this same man whom you think has a wife or lives with his girl, and this same man who hasn’t given you his number after you’ve given him yours (twice), and this same man whom you’ve never seen, or heard his voice, and you are thinking about going to visit him having all of this information beforehand?  (Swings in slow motion and slaps the –ish out of you).

Yeah, take your dumbass to go visit him and let me know how it goes. Damn, you won’t be able to let me know how it goes because I’ll see it on the evening news with the headline: WOMAN CHOPPED UP AND EATEN AFTER MEETING MYSTERIOUS MAN ONLINE. And, your friends will be doing interviews on The Today Show, and Good Morning America, and they’ll be crying saying how you were a good person, and you were just looking for love. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

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