You’ve got questions? He’s got answers! Need advice?
Send your questions to Terrance: email@example.com
Hello Beautiful People,
It’s Friday, and it’s that time for some advice, “Straight, From Your Gay Best Friend.”
I got another two-for from some wonderful readers of Hello Beautiful. Thank you for sending in your questions. You ladies have some great and interesting questions. I humbly thank you for allowing me to give you advice on your relationships, life, career, and other areas in your life. Keep them coming.
Check out the two questions below and feel free to chime in!
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I have a situation where I fell in love with a guy a little too fast. “Tony” says he has feelings for me and he wants to be with me, and that we are friends, but we’re more than friends. Tony says we are on the borderline of being together. When we are hanging out, Tony often talks about other girls and he doesn’t really show me attention like he is interested in me. Sometimes I think I’m overreacting. It bothers me that Tony doesn’t show me the type of attention one shows to someone they are interested in. And, Tony isn’t the type who is shy, believe me. Help! – “I’m Just Confused”
Dear “I’m Just Confused,”
Boo Boo! Guess what? Tony is not into you!
What the hell is: “we are friends, but more than friends”? Uhm, is that sex with benefits? That is what I am sensing. Especially the lame line he gave you, “we are on the borderline of being together.” Are you serious? What is this imaginary borderline that will ultimately define your relationship? Is he Madonna? Remember her hit song, “Borderline?” Anyway, Tony gets major points, and I know every man will agree, because he’s definitely upped his pimp game, and he is stringing you along while you’re running behind him with your nose wide open. You better smell all that mess he is putting out (IT STINKS!), instead of the field of roses and lilies you’re confusing it with.
Listen, girl, if you are having sex with Tony, stop it now! Why are you giving yourself to a man who will not define your relationship? You are allowing him to eat, sample, and enjoy all the benefits without giving you anything in return. Girl, you are not a buffet. Do you think your job would allow you to show up whenever you wanted and that they would continue paying for your healthcare benefits? Do you think you could walk into the human resources office and tell them, “I’m thinking of being an employee, and I am going to try you out, but until then, I will show up for work whenever I want and do as I please, but, regardless, you’re going to pay my health insurance”? Girl, get that mess out of here.
If he is complimenting and talking about other girls in your presence, and in your face, girl, IN YOUR FACE, uh-uh, no ma’am, give him the Jimmy Choo boot! If he is not showing you the attention you feel you deserve, give him the Christian Louboutin boot. Make sure not to scuff the red soles as you leave the imprint on his face!
Listen, Ms. I’m-Just-Confused, I am going to tell you as your Gay Best Friend that you deserve all the love, attention, and happiness you can stand, especially from a man who is willing to share it with you, and only you, and he can define the relationship beyond “we’re friends, but more than friends.” But, honey, you are giving all your power over to Tony. You are giving him the power to decide where your relationship is going, and you are allowing him to disrespect you by letting him talk about other women IN YOUR FACE! Let Tony go! Tell him, “Effective immediately my love is under new management and your services are no longer needed!” – Straight, From Your Gay Best Friend!
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I have been “friends” with this man “Monty” for two years. While we both admit we have very intense feelings for each other, Monty decided a few months ago that we should become celibate. Now, ever since I’ve known him he has never lied to me about anything. Monty has even told me about other women he has messed around with since we’ve started dating. He swears there is no one else and he doesn’t want me to walk away. Trust me, I have given him many chances to walk away.
While he has had a rough life and have been done wrong many times, sometimes, I wonder if it’s just that Monty is scared of being hurt or he just doesn’t care. See, I’m so confused. Sometimes he treats me like a queen and other days he acts like he could care less. And, if we were actually having sex I would say it was just about sex, but we have been celibate for eight months now.
Am I completely in love with Monty? YES! But, I wonder where all this is going. Does he love me? Does he just see me as a friend? Do I stay and continue to work on things, or do I just cut my loses and move on? Help! – “Do I Move On”
Dear “Do I Move On,”
So, let me get this straight (no pun intended).
1.) You’ve been “friends” with Monty for two years and all of a sudden he ends the sex with you and says, “We should become celibate.”
2.) Monty has messed with other women while you were dating.
3.) He says there is no one else and he doesn’t want you to walk away.
4.) Sometimes Monty treats you like a queen and other days he acts like he could care less.
Sounds to me like Monty never thought of you as a girlfriend or anything serious. It seems like you were the one who caught feelings and decided to change the dynamics of the relationship. I mean, and let me get this correct, you wrote, “Do I love him? YES!” Girl, you stated, and in all caps, that you were in love with Monty, yet, you don’t know if he loves you. Have you asked him? If you did and he says he’s not in love with you, then guess what, he’s not in love with you. But, I also come from the old school where if you have to ask if someone loves you, then they probably don’t.
Also, have you asked him if you two were ever a serious monogamous couple? I would gather he only saw you as a friend with extra benefits, just like the other women he was with, and now he’s taking a break. And, he is entitled to do just that. It’s been eight months of celibacy. Honey, trust me, he is getting very clear about some things, and one thing is clear, he got you feigning. And, of course he doesn’t want you to walk away, who is going to let their booty call go? He is keeping his options open, meaning you, just in case he decides he wants to start having sex again. Girl, BYE! You better keep your options open, too!
It pains me to hear people equate sex with love. Yes, ladies, many of you equate sex with love. You think if someone likes you, then of course they want to have sex with you. Don’t get me wrong, it does help enhance the relationship, but it does not define a relationship. Let me tell it to you straight, Sex is just sex. Any man will tell you that. A man who can get an ample amount of sex from as many women, or men, as he can, then he will. It’s our nature. It’s our DNA.
But, this is where I say that you are disillusioned and twisted about your situation with Monty. You are asking, “Do I stay and continue to work on things, or do I just cut my losses and move on?” GIRL! What are you working on? Are you a therapist? Are you a certified psychologist? You mentioned he had a rough life and has been hurt many times. Who hasn’t had some rough spots? Who hasn’t been hurt? What are you going to do, fix him? Listen, Ms. Do-I-Move-On, you better get him a list of reputable therapists who can help him resolve the issues from his past. That is not your job. You can stay and be of encouragement, and empowerment, but a relationship with him is out of the question. Yes, move on because as much as you may think you can change him, fix him, and repair him, you can’t. – Straight, From Your Gay Best Friend!
Also On HelloBeautiful:
100 Reasons Why I Can't Stop Looking At Blue Ivy
1. Mommy & Me
2. Blue. #May10 #NYC
3. Blue Ivy & Jay Z Sip Tea
Blue is surely the apple of Daddy's eye.
4. Blue Ivy & Beyonce Smell The Roses
Beyonce seems like the coolest mom.
5. Blue Ivy & Beyonce Soar The Big Skies
6. Blue Ivy & Mommy
7. Daddy & Me
Blue Ivy walks across mommy's at-home photoshoot, but it's the most adorable photobomb ever!
9. One Big Happy Family
The royal family, Bey, Jay & Blue are all out shopping and we're sure they spent our entire life's savings in 30 minutes or less.
10. Beyoncé, Jay Z & Blue in Beverly Hills — Nov. 11
Beyonce in these heels though?!
11. Beyoncé & Blue in NYC — Nov. 4
Look at Blue in her adorable little bow!
12. Beyoncé & Blue spotted in NYC — Nov. 4
Blue holding on to mommy for dear life.
13. Beyoncé & Blue spotted in NYC — Nov. 4
Momma Bey looking fierce with her mini me in tow.
14. Blue dressed as Michael Jackson.
15. Blue & Ivy
Just look at that face. Seriously, Jay could never deny this child! She knows how to make all his mean mugs!
16. Beyoncé, Jay Z & Blue in Beverly Hills — Nov. 11
Look at that cutie!
17. Beyoncé, Jay Z & Blue in Beverly Hills — Nov. 11
OMG Blue in a top knot? Yasss!
Blue has grown up to be an adorable toddler! We're swooning over this photo of her playing on the beach.
Looks like Blue is taking a walk in mom's shoes...literally.
20. Beyoncé & Blue
There's nothing like being cuddled up in mom's arms.
Blue is looking all kinds of adorable! Look at that left hand go! LOL.
22. Blue On The Big Screen
Bey & Jay look at Blue during a video played at an "On The Run" tour stop. How precious!
23. Pardon Blue's Back
She's growing up so fast! We're loving the top knot. Take that Blue Ivy hair critics!
24. Jump Around
Bey & Blue share an adorable moment on the trampoline. Hello summer!
25. Rocking Some Cute Ponytails
Blue Ivy was spotted with a new 'do! Bey & Jay's mini-me was holding on to her father during a little day stroll.
26. Strolling With Mom & Dad
Blue, Jay and Bey all spotted in East Hampton.
27. Blue Has A Manicure Day With Mama Bey
"Me and my Blue, and my Blue Blue, riding🐝"
28. Hanging Out With Mom
Baby Blue is walking to the door, and it looks like Bey is trying to keep up!
29. Trying On Some Heels
Will Blue be slaying a performance in the near future?
30. Holding On To Mom
Blue looks like she has something to say to Bey.
31. Playing A Game Of Tennis
Blue walks on the tennis court.
32. Cuddling With Mom
Blue & Beyonce have some much-needed cuddle time.
33. Blue Ivy
"The blueprint 🐝"
34. Bey & Blue Take A Stroll
Doesn't Blue look adorable with her colorful dress and cute hair ribbon?
35. The Carter Lounge Together
The family was seen out and about.
36. Jay Z Carries Blue While Bey Looks On
Jay carries Blue in his arms.
37. Leading The Way
Blue Ivy looks too cute with her bowler hat and Mama Bey watching from behind. She's really growing up!
38. Out On The Town
Blue Ivy & Momma Bey enjoy some much deserved time off in Spain.
39. Traveling With Mom and Dad
Blue is used to traveling with Mama Bey and Poppa Jay, but she also looked a little flustered at some moments. It's ok, baby Blue!
40. A Day At The Park
Poppa Jay Z lets Blue Ivy have her way with the bouncy horse.
41. It's A Family Affair
Beyonce, Jay and Blue jetsetting in Dublin.
Blue dressed up like a hipster and plays a quick game of peekaboo! How adorable!
43. OMG It's Blue's Beautiful Face!
FINALLY! We get to see how beautiful Blue is! Look at the adorable headband! "Blue 💙"
44. Blue Ivy
Life's a beach!
45. Brooklyn Stand Up!
"Beyonce & Blue"
46. Blue Ivy's Got Her Own iPhone
"Momma, what's your password?"
47. Beyonce's Lazy Day With Blue
"Momma, I asked you for your password!"
48. When Blue Ivy Takes Your Phone, Beyonce Be Like...
"Fine, I'll go ask Daddy!"
49. Blue Ivy On Tour
"Bey & Blue"
50. It's Playtime
Beyonce & Blue take some time out to play.
51. A Chilly Day In NYC
"Beyoncé, Jay Z and Blue Ivy in NYC - Jan. 19"
52. All Bundled Up
The royal family makes their way to their fancy car.
53. Kisses From Dad
Blue's all bundled up, getting love from Daddy.
54. Blue At The White House
Blue Ivy's taking after mommy and writing a letter.
55. Blue Loves Bo
The White House pup, Bo is showing Blue Ivy some love.
56. The Carters At The White House
Check out the royal family checking out the scene at the White House.
57. It's Christmas Time Again
Blue and Bey checking out the White House Christmas tree.
58. Blue Lovin' Bo
Blue Ivy, dressed like a Princess, showing Bo some love.
59. Like Father, Like Daughter
Blue playing dress up with Daddy's hat.
60. Fun Times With Mommy
Blue Ivy spends some QT with mommy.
61. Mommy & Me
Blue and Bey take a break for some snacks.
62. Silvery Blue
Beyonce carries Blue, while the adorable toddler rocks a metallic jacket that we want and need.
63. The Holy Grail
Blue, Bey & Jay
64. One Big Happy Family
"#miami #newyear #2014"
"Beyoncé & Blue 💙"
66. Blue & Daddy In A Blue Jacket
"Jay and Blue 💙 #NewYear #2014 #Miami"
67. Hold On To Me
"Happy New Year Mommy!"
68. Dora Dora Dora The Explorer
"Beyoncé, Blue and Dora the Explorer"
69. Daddy & Bey
"Look over there Blue, you own that too."
70. Blue's Big B-Day
"Mommy make sure they can only see the back of my head."
71. Painted Faces For Blue's Bday
"Let me get down Mommy, I wanna play!"
72. Kisses From Mommy
Beyonce and Blue prepping for Momma Tina's Masquerade Ball
73. Talk To The Hand!
Beyonce, Jay Z and Blue Ivy were spotted leaving Joey's restaurant in Miami, on January 8th, and Blue had a message for the paps! Talk to the hand!
74. Me & My Daddy
While Beyonce's arm rested, Jay carried Blue from Joey's restaurant, in Miami on January 8th.
75. Blue's First Words
"I'm ready to slay right along with you, Ma!"
76. Imagine The Sound Of This Lullaby
A newborn Blue Ivy gets serenaded by her superstar mother.
77. Don't Mess With Blue!
Every now and again, Blue Ivy reminds you...she is her father's child!
78. All Gold Everything
Blue Ivy takes after her dad's swag. The inseparable duo were spotted in South Beach, Miami illuminating the streets outside their hotel with their yellow luster!
79. All Of The Lights!
"Mommy! All the pretty colors are so blinding! I'm...just..so..overwhelmed! When's my shot coming?! When's my shot coming?!" Blue plays on set with Bey at her 'Blow' video shoot.
80. Hey Blue!
"I can be happy sometimes, see?"
81. Blue Ivy With Daddy
"Why are we clapping, again? I'm not in the shot."
82. Jay Z Tries To Get Blue To Listen To "Magna Carta Holy Grail"
"Daddy, I'm more of a Nas fan."
83. Stepping With Mom
"Wait, Ma. I want the camera to see all angles of this sick dress!"
84. Splashin' & Playin'
"Mom, this water is clean, right? Because I'm not trying to splash in water I can't trust."
85. Beyonce Discusses Important Matters
"Mommy, I completely get it. Yes, I promise to watch the throne."
86. Mommy's Hugs
"Ok, Ma. I love you to pieces, but I like oxygen too." Bey may be the Queen, but this scene from her video "Blue" makes it look as if she can't get enough of being Mom.
87. Blue Ivy Twirls
"Aaaahh, I'm having so much fun not thinking about anything...wiippeee...oh, wait...getting a little sick."
88. Just So You Know...
"I run things. Don't get it twisted."
89. Mommy & Me Loungin'
"Oh, Mommy, I'm so tired of seeing the wigs you snatched last night all on our floor. It's so exhausting. Like, when're they getting picked up? Not now? Oh. Ok."
90. A Kiss For Blue
"Mommy, let me sleep, dang!"
91. Slurpin' On That Milk...Slurpin' Slurpin' On That Milk
"Mommy, gimme that bottle!"
We could watch this adorable GIF of Blue Ivy nonstop forever!
93. Jay Sneaks In Kisses
"Dadddd! Get..Away!..I don't want...No, ugh..No kisses!"
94. Blue Stares Back...
"Hey! Who's that?!"
95. Blue Still Doesn't Get Why Anyone's Here
"No, really, who are you? You're getting to close."
96. Blue and Bey Out For Lunch
"I'm over this now. People just won't let us be. Mom, why can't we just be?!"
97. Blue Is One Tough Cookie
"Ma, please let me just kick them in the face. Like, please, I can't see through all these lights."
98. Blue Jetsets With Jay
"Dad, do we own this boat? I just figured we owned everything, so..."
99. Beyonce Keeps Blue Covered
"Mommy, I think you forgot my feet. I'm cold right now. Are we inside?"
100. Beyonce LOVES Her Blue
Look at that face, how could you not kiss it?!