Can the independent woman and the gentleman coexist? This is one of the questions that constantly surfaces within a relationship. There is this tension for assertive women who want their men to know and understand they can take care of themselves, but at the same time, the women want to be the object of chivalrous devotion. Women need to clarify the roles in the relationship. Do they want to be the man or do they want the man to be the man? Even popular musicians are unable to escape the conflict. Destiny’s Child released “Independent Women” in 2001 and “Cater 2 U” in 2004.
Well, ladies, there is a way for the independent woman and the gentleman to coexist. It is all about maintaining an equal ground. You will need to compromise. Sounds simple enough, however, the key is to compromise on the “right” things. Keep your self-reliance while still encouraging your man to be chivalrous. One thing to remember is that letting a man take care of you will not relinquish your power over your life.
Below are some tips to help you create a harmonious environment for a new coexistence between the independent woman and the gentleman.
Tips for Coexistence:
- AVOID telling your man, “I don’t need a man.” Then, what is his purpose in the relationship?
- Let the man be the man. Let him take the lead. Let him make the first move.
- You do not necessarily need to be LIKE a man to be independent.
- Dress like a lady. Act like a lady. Be courteous and pleasant.
- Continue to love yourself, and be confident.
- Appreciate your man when he is a gentleman and recognize it as being decent and honest. Do not accuse him of having a hidden agenda.
- Complement your man. He wants to hear good things about himself too.
- Keep your opinions, but do not be forceful with them.
- You do not need to be right all the time.
- Do not compete with him. Do not try to be better than him. If you are better than him, try not to brag about it and throw it back in his face.
- Independence is about being flexible and adapting to changing situations.
And, if your man needs a reminder on how to act like a gentleman, let him read over the basic tips below.
Gentlemen Tips:
- Do not lose your temper
- Remove your hat indoors
- Always open doors for women
- Help a woman put on her coat
- Pull out a woman’s chair for her when she sits down
- Stand when a woman enters or exits the room
- Offer her your arm when escorting a woman
- Ask her if she needs anything
- If it is cold outside, offer her your jacket
- Do not use profane language in front of women
- Always look into a woman’s eyes, and never at her body
Take a look at our independent and gentlemen gallery:
