Breaking up is hard to do. What can be even more difficult than the actual split is the aftermath: getting over the loss and trying to start fresh. Many people can get stuck after a breakup by finding excuses to stay in contact with their former lover.

In her new book, Getting Past Your Breakup, Susan J. Elliot says that a rule of “No Contact” with an ex is necessary to fully heal and grieve after a tough breakup. Although she understands how difficult this notion can be, she says, “in order to truly get past your breakup, you need to separate emotionally, physically, and psychologically from the relationship.”

7. I just need to give his stuff back. Do it quickly, in the first couple days. After that, use one of our many mail services.

6. I’m just so horny. And your ex is familiar because you know him (and it won’t increase your “number”). But again, this is just prolonging the inevitable and will keep you stuck in the past. Time to cut off the ex and find someone new (or maybe even just yourself) to get jiggy with.

5. I just need to make sense of it all, and I just have one more thing to say before you go. That’s just another version of “getting closure” and another reason to stay in contact, when in reality this just gives your ex another opportunity to hurt you. Not fun. READ MORE HERE!

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