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A lot of women in New York sure are a scary bunch of high-class, unstable fashionistas…but you really are gorgeous, though. With all that, I have yet to find a girl who can compliment this 25-year-old writer for your favorite place to be, Hello, Beautiful. Hi, my name is Kevin L. Clark and I’m… Single in the City.

It’s not that I have a laundry list of requirements just to have Ms. Right on my team. Maybe dating in the city that never sleeps is harder for a guy who rarely gets any (Get it? LOL!). For instance, I was on a date with a young lady who was mixed with all parts of the world. But, as the night continued, I learned that that would come to mean oh so much more.

We had dinner at one of my favorite spots in Brooklyn, Night of the Cooker, and yours truly had Ms. PYT on his arm, ready to enjoy a night of good music and grand schemes! Baby girl looked right, ping, bang, POW! We decided on Night of the Cooker because she thought the “atmosphere always puts me in a certain kind of mood;” I liked it because the drinks are on point!

As we waited for our waiter, it’s always polite to have proper dinner conversation, right, ladies? So, I asked her about her day; she says, “Fine.” I asked her about her job; she said, “It’s fine.” I asked her if she knew how good she looked and she said, “I know I look fine,” with a slight chuckle. “Cute,” I thought to myself.

But something wasn’t right. She seemed…familiar…

Wanting to know more, I asked her if she liked to cook. She talked about being able to cook three of my favorite dishes: lasagna, gumbo and that “soul food classic” – chicken, cornbread and collard greens! Damn, shawty was looking sexy as hell to me by then! When the waiter came to take our orders, I let honey dip go first… “Salad,” she whispered all shy and coy! I gave her that “I-know-you-want-a-rib-girl” look and she played me sideways. All the while her stomach sounds like DMX growlin’ and barkin’ at Wal-Mart security!

If it’s one thing I hate, it’s a shy chick (copyrighted by Lil Wayne); I never understood why one wouldn’t be able to “take off your cool,” as Mos Def would say. Regardless, I excused myself to wash my hands before our food arrived. On my way back, I walked up behind my cutie to give her a kiss on the cheek. Now, her fast and furious fingers on the Blackberry almost hypnotized me, but the word that caught my attention made me grateful for the inadvertent eavesdrop.

The message read: “Can I suck your chocolate @#%$?!” Now, normally this would have made me want to skip dinner because textin’ another dude when you’re out with this dude is something you must not do. But the funny thing is…she’d sent me the same message a couple days before that! Ladies, can I get a _________! Good thing I never gave her that kiss… I tapped her on the shoulder, smiled, and Jesse Owens’d it out of there before she could have Jesse Jackson’d me! I guess she was mixed with a lot of “parts” of the world… In the end, it paid to listen to Eddie Murphy back in the day

Wanna read more about my zany adventures? Be sure to check out “Don’t Lose Your Day Job over at!

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