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1.) Harem Pants

The average person can’t pull off harem pants. They add beaucoup hips, and give the leg a false proportion that is more akin to a turkey thigh.  As a matter of fact, even the above-average person can’t pull these droopy trousers off.  We recommend that you steer clear of the harem pant trend, because after all it is just that; a (disposable) trend.

2.) Colored Fur

Michael Kors recently debuted  a Fox fur coat, that is being sold at Neiman Marcus, complete with the matching humongous trapper hat that costs $1,895. Initially it sounds all too fabulous; however, the fur is dyed a fluorescent pink that is more foolish than fabulous.  Furs, whether faux or real, are meant to be neutral colors. That is literally the way that God intended.  If you choose to rock a bright pink sable, you will look like Cam’ron or Don Magic Juan. Don’t do it to yourself.

3.) Pasties

Pasties do not equal a shirt.  They were not designed to be worn in public, no matter what Lil Kim told you.  Pasties are a utilitarian concept, made simply for nipple coverage under garments where it is impossible to wear a bra. Do not be so desperate for attention that you are willing to let it all hang out.  No one wants to see your saggy boobs just because you’ve got a sparkly thing stuck to them. And even if your breasts are flawless, leave a little something to the imagination.

4.) Impossible Heels

Virtually all of the top designers are sending fabulous imaginative heels down their runways. Please understand that these are mostly for show.  The haute couture shows are not the same as ready-to-wear. A cheap knock off of a Nina Ricci revered heel bootie with definitely yield disastrous results for your ankles. Similarly, heels over six inches begin to look fetishistic; avoid at all costs!

5.) Cutout Tights

Cutout tights and un-toned legs are a recipe for disaster! Do not play peekaboo with your cellulite.  In addition to their flaw-revealing nature, cutout tights also put you at risk for looking slutty.  These are definitely a hard trend to follow, so play it safe and don’t be sorry ladies.

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