Birthing a child is a life-threatening and miraculous event reserved for women. As the mother of a soon-to-be two-year-old, I can tell you first-hand, motherhood is a mind f*ck. It’s just one of those life experiences you need to well… experience to understand. Between the sacrifice of our body, time, energy and the addition of new stressors, the risk of postpartum depression and post-pregnancy pounds, men should particularly keep their mouth shut about the natural changes a woman’s body will go through during and after pregnancy.
Safaree and Erica Mena made headlines, yesterday, after Mena revealed her husband told her she got “too big” after giving birth to their daughter.
“But tell them why you don’t want another one,” Mena explained on an episode of Love & Hip Hop: Secrets Unlocked. “Cause I got ‘too big’ during my pregnancy…You say it all the time. You mentioned my stomach afterwards. You said, ‘You got too big, I got too big. I don’t want to be fat, again.’ That’s what you said.”
I’m not surprised by Safaree’s immature comments. This is the same man who takes to social media after every lover’s quarrel. It’s frightening there’s a legion of men who share the same mentality and the audacity to verbalize it. Whether it’s about weight or new stretch marks, there should be an understanding that pregnancy leads to various changes in a woman’s body.
There are a plethora of natural phenomenons that lead to a new mother’s birth weight, including breast tissue, blood supply, fat stores and enlarged uterus (WhatToExpect). Age related to metabolism also plays a significant part in weight loss after pregnancy. With the added pressure of stress, hormones and a new family dynamic, losing weight becomes even more difficult.
“After the overwhelming joy of childbirth has passed, some women may turn their thoughts to reestablishing their fitness level and pre-pregnancy weight,” Dr. David Diaz, a reproductive endocrinologist and fertility expert at MemorialCare Orange Coast Medical Center, told Apptiv.com. “After delivery, the family dynamic changes, due to the extra demands placed on parents by the new arrival. The extra duties can exert a physical and emotional stress, making it more tempting to seek comfort food in place of choosing healthful meals.”
The affects of “snap back” culture have also contributed to the false notion all women instantly go back to their size after giving birth. “That’s not reality,” said Tia Mowry in a 2018 interview with HB. “My husband is constantly loving on me and reminding me and telling me ‘Tia, your new body is beautiful,” she added.
Instead of criticizing Mena, Safaree should have been praising his wife for housing a human and, in the words of Beyonce, bearing the children then get back to business. Having a supportive partner is essential to the whole process and clearly Safaree has some learning to do. If watching your wife give birth doesn’t earn your respect, not sure what will.