Ayesha Curry was walking in her purpose when she bravely revealed some of her insecurities on “The Red Table Talk.” Surely, she knew there would be backlash, but (in the words of (Laurel Thatcher Ulrich) “well-behaved women seldom make history” and if she feels insecure, with millions of dollars, a cookbook fortune and one of the most beloved Black men in sports, there’s an average working woman out there feeling the same way.
“I have never been one to cage my feelings and emotions to any capacity. I am human,” Ayesha wrote in a detailed Instagram post responding to the backlash following her Red Table Talk revelation. “Seeing as how it’s mental health awareness month I really want to take the time to encourage everyone to speak their truth regardless of perception, fitting into a mold or offending someone, because it’s YOUR truth. And that’s okay! If what I’m not afraid to say out loud about being a 30yr mama of 3 helps another woman like me feel like they’re not the alone and not the only one with an insecurity (because we ALL have them, don’t play) then that makes all of this hoopla worth it.”
As women, we serve a purpose in life. We are obligated to serve and by serving, to use our life experiences as an example to help other women.
Countless men have slipped into my DMs, onto their soapbox to bash Ayesha, especially for revealing such deep feelings during the playoffs. For God sake, not during the playoffs. The criticism has lingered around leave that type of talk on the pillow with your girls and what kind of woman seeks validation outside her marriage.
What kind of woman? Let me simply answer that: the average woman, the mother, the provider, the superwoman who’s cape is tattered and torn but still flying. Your mother, your sister, your cousin, who has been loyal to her relationship but knows after 10 years her husband’s love might be more centered around her as a partner more than she is a sexual being.
Ayesha Curry has been married to Steph Curry for 10 years and has three children. On a daily basis, she watches women throw themselves at her husband, who may bot be interested (to our knowledge) but intern, give him validation, therefore he never has to seek it. Ayesha lives in the shadows of her man’s dribble and she simply wants to know she is still attractive to someone other than the man she took vows with and is obligated to love her until the end of time.
Ayesha didn’t ask for a cheating pass, or for men to grave at her feet, what she expressed was the basic human necessity to feel wanted. Men are quick to condemn her feelings because men have somehow compartmentalized their daily desire to feel desired and worshipped into other words like “respect.” They use blanket statements like she’s insecure or are confused by the definition of cat-calling verses compliment.
Even more troubling are the women who can’t seem to understand Ayesha’s plight and it seems like it may be rooted in dislike for the well-off basketball wife. In all honestly, I’m not a huge Ayesha Curry fan. I think she dabbles in respectability politics with tweets that trash women who dress or behave a certain way. Her “pick me” standards are rooted in patriarchy, as is most of societies complex issues. But I can discern between a woman who puts on a public facade and who struggles on the inside, because it’s what all Black women have mastered.
Clearly Stef Curry isn’t that bothered by Ayesha’s comments. He scored 25 points and played 45 minutes. They good.